agony

post erased.  and reset settings.  no idea what happened.

post nasal drip is filling my stomach with ash and fire chemicals from No cal and Oregon fires.  feeling quite sick.  air conditioning central helping.  no puzzling today.  back, legs, feet screaming.  i just want to cry.  starving hungry can't eat.  

after resting feet up 15 minutes night and day stomach feeling better.  wish i had oxigen water.  would fix my stomach.  i recovered progressively by 6:30 air was better.  

ptsd from 1972 and 2001 injuries.  i wore support hose my legs hurt so badly 3 scalding soak baths a day to tolerate the aching.  

it all disappeared

i don't mind.  i think i hit the x too hard wiped everything away.  i've been looking up a lot online.  the odd part is i updated religiously and it still disappeared into the ethos.

so i don't mind.  93 degrees and humid.  sophia gave me organic eggs, bread, cake, sandwiches i gave 1 to sydney all he wanted.  she wanted to give me milk, veg i declined.  she kept chips.  so i came to main to give my car cool shade.  almost 10 degrees cooler.  i'm finally drinking all the packets i bought too tired to deal.  i have a little more energy.  makes me wonder if i had covid and didn't know.  some have few or no symptoms.  

5 pm another hour 91 degrees.  2 hijab women have been playing on the coffee new puzzle.  i sorted the edge pieces and got bored.  when i rested they put the edge together!!  hurrah!!  i can do what i like.  

end begin blues

 time to consider, meditate, ruminate.  

maybe i'm under cyber attack-the importance of being earnest

my pch games aren't loading.  oh, well.  swam got to seniors 7:30.  i don't know.  lunch ok fish raw onions in mango salsa too fresh even tho i removed them.  stewed tomatoes in dry brown rice.  i liked it others complained.  lovely toki brought comics.  newbie earnest guy like a cat sneaked up behind me in lunch line.  he hadn't been since 10 years.  thanked me for answering his questions.  warm dry handshake.  

checked weather decided cup book return today getting hotter this week.  cutie let me check in check out same copy.  1 pm arrival favorite shady parking.  tygj.  ate second cobb salad b'fast and cornbread snack.  

cup library cutie checked tina book in and out.  relaxed teen area cooler no seats available feet up.  home to watch jay leno 4 pm.  

chrome ran down

only sometimes it does.  so first thing i plugged in.  had 2 attempts with phone code to verify yahoo mail.  new action brain stretch.

I just discovered i've been reducing the page the hard way.  another new behavior.  whew!  loaded picked up freebie safeway 3 oz pretzels maria and clearance everything cornbread $3.50. 

funny how things go in cycles.  last week sprouts 2 clearance 3 oz pork jerky 99 cents ea.  sunny sprouts 8 oz 2 clearance turkey jerky $8 ea.  so i'm set in the carnivore dept.

lucky's still had clearance cobb salads i bought 2 for 98 cents using reward dollar.  score!

perfection

happy anniversary to me.  51 years.  lovely day.  swam an hour brian late.  went st just insisted giving me lunch.  sorted bags ate senior lunch leftover.  relaxed on puzzle.  tracked csaa insurance mileage.  

all my chronic pain is 1972 injury finally healing.  i keep forgetting.

another week done

going well.  bingo i won music candy can.  inge won 4 straight.  nothing else better to do.  

i'm so tired of doing the same thing.  i want to live without a care.  i want my forever vacation.  people connect hawaii with doing what they want when they want.  it's too hot.  

good swim

lunch fish.  hilda weird giving out extra.  she acts like it's her food when it's county program money.

23

brian jackson invited me for home pizza 5 pm.  87 degrees 599 oven.  1265 manchester #3.  excellent home cooked sauce.  watched jeopardy and wheel.  opposite of a t and amor.  home by 8:30.  

waiting for lunch

i'm opening 2 pages 1 draft.  if i have thoughts i can enter.  swimming was great tho' i miss brian.  he said he was starting city college.  psych major.  

i finally paid pge at walmart and 2 bags bacon bits clearance 99 cents ea.  and now it seems citibank is double charging me for last month.  i'm feeling resentful i have to fix it.  lunch ok.  finished puzzle 1 piece missing.  

hot spot ready i picked up and finished main puzzle too.  protein coffee i made is delicious.  terrible let down from caffeine.

cornbread is so good whole kernels.  

21 pay discover

not eating throws off blood sugar blurring sight.

pay discover.  cats are obligate carnivores pch quiz needing to eat meat.  i'm a cat.

something not right-making it right-wow

i'll try a new page.  i still can't decide on what i want for lunch.  nothing is appealing to me.  the page is malfunctioning.  ergo new page.  every problem has a solution.  

i'm not hungry.  i've been trying to figure on lunch.  it's 1:45 pm.  

i've been thinking about when i lived cup via vico.  just before sacrificing my life for the family.  brrrr....

brilliant idea of making protein caffeine in small bottles for quickie boost.  lunch problem solved.  keep dry protein powder and add liquid.  

epiphany-sitting here being i realize how much i hated the phone because of the family always demanding, checking up, harassing.  not the phones' fault.

93 degrees 4 pm it should be cooling it's getting hotter.  the breeze has been steady.  2 degrees cooler home.

bliss

sitting feet up cup library.  borrowed movie returned one.  i'll try watching 'game of thrones.  

i looked pan menu nothing appealing.  whole foods?  

swimming with brian prayer partner

i went to walmart to pay pge computer down.  continued to lucky's found clearance argan shampoo.  not in system cathy $1 so i got the other one 2 monopoly tickets.  score!!

seniors got best parking shade 9 am truck left.  brian was in tub had pleasant chat 2 hours.  puzzled upstairs 'til closing noon.  b king 2 jr 2 fries ate main book sale. found cook book and danny kaye 'inspector general' so $2.  feeling tired home.  organizing bags.  

started monopoly game.  i had a dedicated organizer.  i must have put everything away.  

being responsible is boring

must be a way to make it fun again.  i've been doing it too long.  i rested 'til 9 went lucky's for free drink walked store not in buying mood.  monopoly started.  parked seniors talked to brian.  took my time puzzled first then showered time for ok lunch.  waited for bingo!.  god is so good to me.  mon-thurs and sat pool, friday bingo keeps me interested.  

i considered paying pge @ walmart.  maybe next week.  i'm feeling bored.

i didn't obsess over blog.   i just don't care.  i don't care i don't care.  

i'm watching 'larkins' i picked up city seasons 1 and 2.  new at county i checked ta da!

lots of omelet

i forgot to pay city power monday.  i paid today.  i made b'fast cheese cinnamon omelet on wheat berry cut in 4 ate 1.  i cut my lip licking cookie spatula cutter.  i brought for snack served same for lunch.  potatoes and jam jelly i got everyone's.  hurray me!!  so i gave toki my mandarin cup.  i choose my sugars.  

2:50 i ate my homemade omelet with b+b pickles so good.  reo speedwagon'i can't fight this feeling anymore' playing on pa system.  

i don't know when i'm tired or depressed.  i've gotten used to the way of life as being normal when it isn't.  instilled installed by family.  i was never allowed to feel.  

ah, yes

swam hour+half puzzled.  lunch with my chosen family and more puzzle.  bought bingo sack lunch.  forgot short seniors hours.  93 degrees decided me central covered parking.  finished rock roll poster puzzle.  home 5:30 comfortable 79 degrees.

borderline stom-ache

my new word.  i don't know the 3 hot dogs or 2 lbs cherries.  b'fast was half p b sandwich.  i'm having more fun.  i'm learning.  swimming helped.  first time back pain and stomach pain feel connected.

i love extended hours and pool access.  i feel nurtured.  90 degree day i stayed cool 'til 4:30 82 degree.  

discovered 'the genie down under' from retro tv list on you tube.  watched 2 and half episodes.  

lucky 13

online so slow.  i'm sitting sunny library.  i showered and internet at 24 as i was going to panera i remembered block party echo church.  saw yard sale sign stopped to look.  listened  to short sermon and had hot dog and nachos.  i love the astro turf in front and back.  i went back for another hot dog and lady asked 2 thinking she meant my second i said yes and she gave me 2.  i put on all trimmings feeling like an oink.  came to sunny library irritated by road closures.  organized food and before i knew it was open 1 pm.  

stayed 'til 5:30 ate hot dogs delicious.

having more fun

i loaded picked up dark choc p'nut bar 99 cents lucky's.  inge reminded me bingo!  i won $5 snack bar.  i got 2 extra noodles gloria gave me extra pickled beets.  we were laughing last week monday had fry left overs.  we never know.  

5 pm sunny remembered wheel.  challenging update.

i'm resilient

 what is flat stanley?-wheel of fortune-'time for an upgrade'.

i'm not retired, i'm on permanent vacation.  i decided.  

chrome ran down 1 per cent so new settings

 helps me decide what's important.  i swam my hour & half.  it's cooler w/o jets.  friction warms temp.  

people are selling unicorn meat and armadillo ilk.  this is one strange planet.

you tube i finally realized play 7 times each for max benefits.  

twos-71% left on chrome

didn't keep it plugged in no hot spot no internet.  so i'm free.  9 am seniors pool hour & half.  lunch.  inge wanted me to pick up recycle $5.83.  78 degrees main library.  

moon experiment

and it worked.  i can open 2 pages at once that stay open.  it used to disconnect if no internet.  now it stays open.

new behavior for new me new life.  another hot 88 degree day.  senior open late.  i'm determined to balance my muscles.  all driving uses only right side of body.  no wonder i'm out of balance.  

cold brew coffee for proffee.  protein coffee guaranteed weight loss.  i have cup with built in  filter from jumble sale.  and i can use grounds for compost.  how perfect is that.  

i'm getting hungry.  90 now.  

sitting cup library

showered lucky gym, picked up chick sticks from b king.  i laundered 'til lunch served.  surprising amount st just clothes.   i'm feeling efficient.  cup holds expire today.  hot spot over due yesterday sunny next.  i could shop clearance but i want to rest and puzzle at sunny.  i'll wait and feel.  feeling is more important than seeing.  huh.

i decided if feet up stay and here i am.  otherwise i'd be doing something else.  i found parking spot one closest open.  #two is parking lot in shade, three is end of block in shade.  

91 degrees in shade at sunny 1 pm open.  i ate all my fries happy girl.  

total concentration on health

i swam and puzzled.  i remembered seniors b king.  picked up ham croissants.  small but delicious.  med hash browns.  so good.  main found dime.  i love finding money.  home rest.

what is my health and peace of mind worth to me?

healing requires total, complete concentration excluding everything else, no petty judgments or distractions.  single minded attention to healing.

i'm loving my life

soaking and stretching i'm finally improving my back and body.  nothing succeeds like success.  feeling comfortable is the best.  i'm still listening to healing nonstop.  

a good day.

i've recovered from cutting kiwi

swam 2 hours.  did my yoga in tub.  so heavenly.  someone took down horse puzzle set out new wooden.  

i did my banking 3 pm.  i went to chase 10 minute line, merry 10 minutes, sprouts special rye bread and apple turnovers.  2 salads 99 cents ea smooth sailing.  so i came home.  

i'm 2 tents

joke.  i have to consciously relax.  no wonder i feel tired all the time.  takes a lot of energy to keep my muscles so tense.  i'm aware, the first step to change.