Fear is trying to protect me. the past, post traumatic stress is evolutionary protection. there are no bears or lions.
there's no one going to beat and torture me but me.
one thing at a time. I have to pay Citi, smog car, 24 hour resolution.
I'm watching Harry Wild. I've lived long enough to see odd women like me on TV. Elsbeth.
10/18/1999 Malcolm & Eddie season 4 episode 6 "The Tapawingo Witch Project". and 2025 Tapawingo. synchronicity.
I planned on going to Savers until 24 hour Fitness cancelled my membership. Minivia let me in because I was on file. so human. TYGJ. onepass.scan fixed it 2 phone calls w/24 after senior lunch.
Walter got me assorted Disney puzzles and fish rice. Fred was his usual self.
I went to central library to puzzle.
too much stress. and new stress. I'm enjoying People Puzzler. old me would have felt miserable would have wallowed in misery.
I've been sorting and organizing. I decided to just relax in the cool overcast.
I re scanned the TV and found People Puzzler tonight at 8 pm.
I put together the over drive button that fell apart yesterday. shifting was feeling weird. I waited 'til the light was good to attempt assembling knowing I could always get Carlos to fix it. I wondered what Walter's energy would do. I figured out the button, spring, white plastic holder and wired clip.
update I thought I missed 5/10 payment. I paid 4/26 using gas receipts.
6 am I started sorting and organizing my swag from health fairs. I've been watching Harry Wild PBS w/Jane Seymour. after eating Panera salad I fell asleep 'til noon. decided to go to central. drove around waiting for underground garage to open late.
central library heaven. reading sorting relaxing. Sammy left me date bite.
I wanted salad for b'fast. I caught every green light to seniors 7:50. I remembered no St Justin Memorial holiday bought Panera day old salad too sour, baguette, chip cookie too sweet. I swam half an hour then Sprouts girt card $29.97 mini turkey sticks, bone broth packets taste terrible I can fix. lunch and puzzle at the library. WONDERFUL.
I scored 13 plastic county ruler magnifying bookmarks.
5 pm the library closed I decided to get CVS supplements and walked the store. parked close to everything I walked Ross too. bought salad toppings and sesame seeds. then I wanted corn dogs but Safeway deli closed 7 pm everyday so I settled for clearance pumpkin pie $5.50, 4 2/$1 chips, spaghetti meatballs $1.99 dinner. home 8 pm. I've been playing 'til dark. new behavior.
so good. fewer vendors only took an hour so I walked around with Walter and Toki another hour. I got everything I wanted.
Walter brought his car tool checked my engine clean smog will pass.
the thread and seam ripper came w/6 finger puppets. fun fun silly silly.
home 2:30 I ate the cake Sunshine gave me and napped. rested and relaxed.
everything is important to me. I changed my slippers. and I worry everything will be OK. this has been my life. I'm practicing being gentle with myself. my picture as a toddler shows me with a furrowed brow.
I figured out mom threw out everything because she had nothing and when angry at anything tossed our toys. Aiko is the same. dad loved giving everything away as long as it wasn't his. so I barely had clothes on my back. therefore the Cinderella complex. I dressed in rags, did all the chores since before 8 years old. no one to love since coming to the mainland at 4.
so today I wore my sparkling gold antler headband.
