still feeling sad-healing the past

I ate candy to cheer myself so I'm stuffy.  post nasal drip.  my drug of choice sweets and chips.  1 bag.

watching Biography-Cat Stevens, Dolly Parton.  

I made mac and cheese comfort food.  tuna avocado on toast.  I'm taking care of myself.  

maybe 30 years (Happy death day dad)-Melvin chips

to get over the trauma and drama.  it's been 27.  dad's last month my sisters tortured mom, dad and I.  they suddenly took an interest in goading us.  mom going to Tahoe leaving me with dad then the chiropractor appointments leaving him tortured in pain mom and I had to experience helplessly for a week.  finally killed him in Kaiser.   

then their broken promises to mom to take care of her.  she died of a broken heart not heart failure.  no wonder I still sad.  they tried to evict me for 8 years.  harassing me 'til I retained an attorney.  complaining I was costing them money.   

listening to 432 Hz Alpha waves.  quite nice.  you tube just wanders.  and I wonder.  it's working.  

3 pm Melvin brought me 2 bags of low salt Safeway chips.  MIRACLE.  I shared my dad's last month alive.  

I'm no longer alone.  

Happy Friday-Tyler from senior gym desk visit

Gohan has been working/playing for the city since 16, intern.  ideal job.  PAID TO PARTY.  Gail and Gohan put on festivals, celebrations.  I started his Ironman puzzle.  Gail brought 2 he had to bring 3 he wants back.  

like Eric Karaoke Kids.  still hard physical work hauling electronic equipment before computers.  

I got extra baked beans the only tasty part of lunch and lots of sweets.  peach soggy, cookies, pastry.  the sloppy turkey was bony and bland.  soggy coleslaw.  people celebrating Labor Day.  

MeMe came to visit.  Nob Hill has her working mgmt 't 

Wheel food and drink-QUICK BITES.  Thursday bonus puzzle.  

I'm here

Yippee!!  I picked new puzzle, put away his repeat choice.  500 piece Garden Path.  and I finished it.  

lunch was not good.  I decided I wanted chicken wild rice with extra can chicken, avocado, celery.  and 2 toasted English muffins.  I could easily eat a dozen.  

wheel bonus puzzle and page at odds.  

seniors

I'm having nightmares of child abuse waking me.  I'm trying to see it through love.  

the angry child wants to wipe everything away.  get rid of everything.  everybody dad, mom, aiko.  mit came after.  throw away the bad memories.  

Walter took off early so I could sit and wait for extra lunch.  Fred and Toki left earlier.  

annoying man ex came w/his lunch so I finished the puzzle and left.  he gave me permission to choose the next puzzle and commented I was almost complete.  I couldn't find my blue bag.  I walked downstairs and upstairs he was sitting on it.  such a jerk.  last week he made an issue of moving my keys on the chair arm and today he sat on my bag.  I went downstairs and charged my devices listening to Louise.  

I was home 3 pm.  had strawberry quick, cooked an egg and added pickles to leftover bibimbap.    

rewriting my life habits

I could dance.  my heart is light.  I haven't felt this good since a child before they dragged me into their muck.  

I forgot end of month anxiety

I'm loving the glitter puzzle.  how I can make myself happier.  

I soaked and stretched.  I cut my nails.  a huge undertaking trying to reach my feet.  so stiff and sore.  

lunch was OK Walter showed up a little better.  he heard me.  I let X off the hook so he continued cheating.  Fred and Toki took off. I came upstairs to digest lunch and play puzzle 'til 6.  went to Mission library to return movie and college Safeway.  I walked store deciding on Monday special $6/8 piece chicken.  I got half fried half roasted.  cake pieces on baker cart tagged $2.50 I was charged $3.99 so I wanted to return it.  they refunded my $3.99 and gave me for free.