NAUSEA from intense pain. I just realized the collision marks them against me again. this is all about forgiving and releasing the family.
the four of them against me. now I have my own team. I'm not alone. I have friends.
took an hour in the tub under jets to relax my sore battered muscles.
I'm sipping cherry juice I've had for months in my gym roller.
I feel exhausted. most of my life has been barely maintaining, keeping the wolves away. doing what I want never existed before.
I looked up weather 2/14/2024 shows rain not clear and dry.
the air pollution from fires create overcast.
I'm reading PG Wodehouse online and watching Blandings.
Vibrations of Heaven.
I'm changing my life. it's so difficult. and painful. eh, LIFE.
I mixed beans rice w/chipotle chicken packet too hot. added corn.
listening to Louise is my anchor. I picked up St Justin lunch at 10 am. 9:30 I decided not to think, just do. I let my body lead the way. I dressed and Sunshine was regaling everyone of Chris fighting with either Sandy or Charity. then she followed Ruben to his truck begging like a giant T Rex baby bird for his lunch. Bonnie cutting in line pretending to talk to me and apologizing behind me but not going back in line.
I love the library. so calm and comfortable unlike my childhood. all the comforts w/out the criticism or insanity.
I'm so blessed. ate the rest of my spicy spicy spicy beans w/sweet pickles to cut the heat while reading PG Wodehouse on Gutenberg.org.
HEAVEN.
it's no wonder I feel exhausted. my life set me up for failure. Louise teaches self love=success.
still haven't heard back from Dannielle.
I'm carrying on. I'm feeling the nightmare qualities of 1998 when I was alone fighting the sisters, taking dad back and forth to the doctors and emergency, working to pay my bills, barely surviving mom's criticism and neglect. ALONE.
I didn't know it was still with me.
now I have sympathetic friends and a legal team. I'm breathing through the PTSD. it's so hard reliving the feelings. I let go and let God even though I want to run. so I'm biking in the gym.
I'm reading the original Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos 1825 on Gutenberg.org. when my heart gets too heavy I have respite. emotional vacation. run away.
I finished a 300 piece puzzle after lunch w/Fred, Toki, Walter. he got me extra goulash w/egg noodles.
I love wandering aimlessly doing what I want after a lifetime of work I had to do.
found a plastic quarter holder with $2.00 for my laundry. my homemade trail mix hits the spot. I ate half a pound of lunch fish at 5 am.
I washed a filthy OXO 3.4 qt vacuum canister, I found by the parking lot, in the cafeteria washroom. abandoned things bother me. unloved like me.
I've been feeling unloved since the Valentine's Day collision. I wonder if that's why Mit sent me a birthday card in Dec. (cue dramatic music bah bah bum). she's never done that. 2024 and 2025.
I drove to Mission didn't have a 2 sided scanner so I went to Central and still not 2 sided printing. so 4 sheets instead of 2 from copy tech. good to know I can get copies from Consumer Cellular. I copied license and registration myself.
I puzzled 2 hours oh, my back. home 7:10 pm.
I had fun on cat puzzle Francine chose. I'm feeling anxious over lawsuit. I decided to pick up my Sunny hot spot. stopped at Ross new tankini $15 and lemon almonds $3.49. Sprouts lemon cake $6 and samples. I sat and ate some lunch fish considering using expiring CVS coupons. too much done already, my feet hurt. home at 6 pm. Danielle called no questionnaire yet. I mailed Wednesday so 4 business days.
