perfection. 'Sleep in Peace, Wake in Joy' is the best recording ever. I feel completely integrated. I dressed all in black. Eric death day coming the 13th. 3rd birthday.
12:43 parked in the shade at the library. I can hang or leave early. I returned the hot spot and borrowed Jurassic Dominion and Rebirth. and book Atomic Habits.
I decided to add scrambled eggs to spicy library tamales. I considered polenta. I remembered I had 3 corn tortillas. Delicious.
9:30 not good parking. people leave the hour and half hour. I had to wait. so 15 or 45 better.
arrived St Justin 10:30 I chose PBJ and extra chips. and eating makes me sleepy. lots of sugar. bliss reading, eating, resting, relaxing.
ooh!! I charged my spare phone 0%. 1 pm PA 'Seeds of 250 Years' lecture and food samples of east and west coast of early America. pickled watermelon rind and old California tamales like fruit/hamburger, corn chips & salsa, watermelon 'shrub' drink. interesting history of food.
5 pm library closed I remembered I need fish oil omega 3. CVS I bought Flax seed omega 3. 5:30 St Justin I drove around for parking. I checked in and Leta was already in mass. Beverly daughter in law working.
Leta is a fire cracker of love. best BBQ. she visited w/everyone had 2 beers. cheeseburgers perfect, variety of chips, most excellent strawberry, blueberry feta balsamic spring salad. strawberry or vanilla ice cream cups dessert. done by 7:30 I got salad and 2 wieners extra vanilla. I ate so much.
24 hour then Citi. I considered paying B but I don't want to start a precedent. I'll wait 'til Tues.
lunch Fred and Walter 3 cups of coffee. lots of extra food. fewest people.
I'm thinking of the CSAA auto questionnaire. I'm reading through it. I want to print out copies of 2024 blog pages. Monday. senior center re opens Spring week. today I'm resting in the cool overcast planning my life taking care of me. maybe taking my own advice.
feels like Saturday.
I almost lost my wallet, fell out of my fishing shirt pocket w/candy and 3 hours later was still on the library floor. TYGJ. I renewed chrome. puzzled 300 piece Wysocki Americana I gave to Sammy.
5 pm I was tired. Safeway I bought 2 corn dogs, piece of German chocolate $2.50 and Angel food $2 cake, 4 mini chips $2.
wheel late. then Happy's Place and People Puzzler.
it's gently raining like Wednesday 2/14/2024 tesla collision. still feels like an attack. the injustice of suing Me. my family.
I let it go to God. and tom too.
b'fast of salad and pizza mac snack. I walked Food Maxx after 24 Fitness. nothing I wanted.
lunch was lovely w/Toki. Walter 5 cups of coffee. he doesn't connect it to gerd. oh, well. Sunshie gave me 2 Walmart mini
I finished Moana puzzle 2 pieces missing.
home 5 pm for a change. I found red envelopes I misplaced and I remembered black Buxton wallet. exactly the same as red. black was stolen at least 10 years ago so I stopped using it. returned less $20 cash by mail from south San Jose.
Fear is trying to protect me. the past, post traumatic stress is evolutionary protection. there are no bears or lions.
now today there's no one going to beat and torture me but me.
one thing at a time. I have to pay Citi, smog car, 24 hour resolution.
I'm watching Harry Wild. I've lived long enough to see odd women like me on TV. Elsbeth.
Smogged!! I went after Gym. resolved sort of. no fingerprint scan. I promised Gari brand new solar Nekko good luck cat I never even opened box. I'm debating Mr Grumpy.
lunch simply Fred and Walter. no Toki. she used to only bring Helen once a week.
at central library I did Walter puzzle assortment. Disney Moana already opened incomplete 300 piece missing one.
5 pm went to Savers nothing I wanted. Grocery Outlet cheese crackers, 2 pizza mac snack. home 8 pm People Puzzler. bed 9:30.
10/18/1999 Malcolm & Eddie season 4 episode 6 "The Tapawingo Witch Project". and 2025 Tapawingo. synchronicity.
I planned on going to Savers until 24 hour Fitness cancelled my membership. Minivia let me in because I was on file. so human. TYGJ. onepass.scan fixed it 2 phone calls w/24 after senior lunch.
Walter got me assorted Disney puzzles and fish rice. Fred was his usual self.
I went to central library to puzzle.
too much stress. and new stress. I'm enjoying People Puzzler. old me would have felt miserable would have wallowed in misery.
I've been sorting and organizing. I decided to just relax in the cool overcast.
I re scanned the TV and found People Puzzler tonight at 8 pm.
I put together the over drive button that fell apart yesterday. shifting was feeling weird. I waited 'til the light was good to attempt assembling knowing I could always get Carlos to fix it. I wondered what Walter's energy would do. I figured out the button, spring, white plastic holder and wired clip.
update I thought I missed 5/10 payment. I paid 4/26 using gas receipts.
6 am I started sorting and organizing my swag from health fairs. I've been watching Harry Wild PBS w/Jane Seymour. after eating Panera salad I fell asleep 'til noon. decided to go to central. drove around waiting for underground garage to open late.
central library heaven. reading sorting relaxing. Sammy left me date bite.
I wanted salad for b'fast. I caught every green light to seniors 7:50. I remembered no St Justin Memorial holiday bought Panera day old salad too sour, baguette, chip cookie too sweet. I swam half an hour then Sprouts girt card $29.97 mini turkey sticks, bone broth packets taste terrible I can fix. lunch and puzzle at the library. WONDERFUL.
I scored 13 plastic county ruler magnifying bookmarks.
5 pm the library closed I decided to get CVS supplements and walked the store. parked close to everything I walked Ross too. bought salad toppings and sesame seeds. then I wanted corn dogs but Safeway deli closed 7 pm everyday so I settled for clearance pumpkin pie $5.50, 4 2/$1 chips, spaghetti meatballs $1.99 dinner. home 8 pm. I've been playing 'til dark. new behavior.
so good. fewer vendors only took an hour so I walked around with Walter and Toki another hour. I got everything I wanted.
Walter brought his car tool checked my engine clean smog will pass.
the thread and seam ripper came w/6 finger puppets. fun fun silly silly.
home 2:30 I ate the cake Sunshine gave me and napped. rested and relaxed.
everything is important to me. I changed my slippers. and I worry everything will be OK. this has been my life. I'm practicing being gentle with myself. my picture as a toddler shows me with a furrowed brow.
I figured out mom threw out everything because she had nothing and when angry at anything tossed our toys. Aiko is the same. dad loved giving everything away as long as it wasn't his. so I barely had clothes on my back. therefore the Cinderella complex. I dressed in rags, did all the chores since before 8 years old. no one to love since coming to the mainland at 4.
so today I wore my sparkling gold antler headband.
I've never had a better time. I swam tub broken I didn't care. lunch Trudy brought cake brownies. I scored Sunshine's left over chocolate and Boston cake. sugar high tonight. I'm using wet clothes for cooling whip creme.
I puzzle Peace and Quiet. I'm practicing normal. I'm keeping the chrome.
I almost bought corn dogs when I have Krab salad home. Whew!
playing with my toys makes me happy. I'm wearing my gold antlers. and using my sugar spoons and pickle forks. More please.
Friday last chance Chris B 5 crossing paths. practicing forgiveness? what's the lesson?
I can release the constriction. I needed to lie to myself to survive and I'm ready to thrive. it killed them. kept them from living. hating me is hating themselves.
OH, WELL. I rest.
I got gas $5.60/gal. I thought about it since the holiday is coming up. the prices always increase since increased driving is anticipated.
I'm pondering Chris Burgos. 5 times our paths have crossed. last week I rode down elevator w/SCPD.
whenever I feel like I need to act today the store ads were left. there's always something I want.
I walked Savers and found tiny silver 6 pickle forks and 5 sugar spoons $7, 12 purple hankies $6, gold rhinestone reindeer antler head band $5. then salad, Krab w/potato, tomato. $4 Tim Tam cookies.
you can't outrun yourself. drugs, alcohol, any of the -holics compound the interest not in a good way.
yesterday in the locker room after soak and stretch. I woke with my right shoulder blade screaming. I did my Dr Hume exercises and I'm a little better. Dr Hume is working again.
I tried red beans and rice w/chicken and veg 20 g protein from St Justin lunch.
fixed denim 2 added longer hem and buttonhole. and shorts.
all that walking and resting. 3 hours. my body needs more stretching.
7:45 green lights seniors much better. someone took puzzle box left puzzle. I'm puzzled. just when I think I can't be surprised.
11 @ library. I picked up St Justin saw Ruben, gave me his sandwiches. deli ham gristle. 2+2 snicker doodles. I'm drinking my homemade chocolate quick, turmeric, plant protein.
2 pm Sammy gave me 2 Bikaji date nut candy bites and mentioned David. BAM! Sammy went to Sunny book sale today.
I went to Village Green frozen dinner $7.39 too high I bought Jack in Box 2/$5 burger coupon.
nothing on TV early bed and movies. found Ed Asner doc.
I'm still feeling sad and rebellious. my terrible two's. I was too terrified to be terrible. too much home violence.
I love my supportive senior center family. Paul, LLoyd's friend opened up sitting and listening for half hour.
I considered exercising but I didn't pack shorts or shoes. eh, next week.
I forgot the health fair noon-3 pm after lunch I walked looking at everything. Jon said I couldn't win again so I didn't enter. I walked and rested. Rx Balance booth raffled tees and rfid wallets. 2:45 I hadn't won so I went and asked where to buy one she gave me my choice of red. online $16.57-$39.99.
Sunshine shared her violent family stories. she wants to live in Valley Village. me too. surrounded by senior survivors.
home 3:30 Ruben gave me St Justin lunch with salad and tomato, Doritos. I napped. celebrity jeopardy tonight.
the gut brain seat of intuition. and now I know why. I'm prey not predator and can approach in peace. Frank 3 had a meltdown. I argued w/God if I hadn't won the raffle I wouldn't have reached out.
Paul Lloyd's friend offered me choice of 5 packaged pastry I chose bear claw.
Cody bookmobile.
Bartolo left message. I told him every other month. AGAIN. same conversation for years. family. familiar.
lunch w Frank 3. like an ET alien. didn't know anything, how he got lunch I don't know. I secured him a menu and explained reservations.
Toki and Walter brain wipe. I'm worried. he's so self involved. he doesn't get he's being a pain.
I finished a very tough puzzle of very odd shapes. pain vacay.
Jack in the Box tacos. I'm still feeling desperate for no reason. all the family torture labeled 'helping'.
I won the raffle basket from Friday. $30 Sprouts gift card, $25 AMC gift card, hiking poles, hiking trail book, trail mix, adult swim goggles, beach towel, yoga mat, coloring book, markers, beach tote.
the body remembers. seniors I remembered 2 days until mom's death day.
I called Eric Winberg San Jose office re Sean Koy. he's sending survey (?) papers to fill out before lawyer discussion. I don't know.
I puzzled 'til lunch Fred, Toki, Salome, Walter. pool soak stretch 4:30-5. Cup library then Grocery Outlet watermelon water $2.30,salad $1.49, 2 mini pizza $1.98, the last grilled cheese $2.99, imitation crab $3.49, 3 rice crackers $5.67. FEAST.
my ribs are unlocking. shoulder blades so sore.
I'm enjoying the variety of life. I'm watching Franklin and Bash, unconventional lawyers. it's on TV too late for me to stay up so I borrowed it from the county library.
I finished the strawberries, eating Salisbury steaks/goat cheese, resting and fixing dresses. balance.
I found v-mail from Eric CSAA? yesterday 12:38 during fair re car, no case number no last name referred to email I told them doesn't work. (Sean sent letter.) so I reversed white page number belongs to Mariana (Maria) Fe Rivera 732 Kineo Ct, Oakley, Ca 94561. left voicemail for Sean. will call again Monday.
I love Louise. so brave.
I voted, a productive day.
new behavior. I didn't return anything. I kept everything putting myself first.
I shopped Grocery Outlet. 2 rice crackers $4, cheese balls $2, 6 Salisbury/$4, cinnamon $3, salad $1.49, strawberries 2lb/$3.99, eggs $1.29.
best one ever. Mallory worked so hard organizing and setting up. I visited every table and got lots of goodies. Walter had his counseling so I got his card and picked up his lunch. he visited me puzzling after lunch 3 times. the most he's engaged with the senior center walking around all the tables.
Walter appreciates me. Paul was excited by all the people and gave me 2 wrapped pastries.
home 3:30 tired I ate carnitas salad and lemon pepper burrito. I fell asleep watching GRIMM and woke up at 7:30 thinking it was SAT morning. I checked the chrome book and was surprised. I felt restored.
you tube interview of 'A New Douglas Stuart Novel'. huh. Spirit.
Diana' second car event this month reminded me to charge my phone led me to Toki message dental cancel lunch.
I'm enjoying puzzle I decided to postpone pool 'til after Cody bookmobile.
so perfect taking my time in pool wringer broken, going to lunch after 11. Walter left early to walk. I puzzled 'til 2:30.
I decided to pick up Sunny hot spot. then I stopped by Chipotle for carnitas and Trader Joe's cheesy puffs and raw sunflower seeds. next to each other in the strip mall.
home 4:30.
yippee! seniors I'm doing a Josephine Wall beautiful romantic puzzle. I'm doing it to enjoy not self distracting because of physical or emotional pain. I'm managing. even with the threat of being sued I'm OK. she's not biologically related to me like my 'sisters'.
home 3 pm. stopped at BK no Whopper Wednesday in May so I used coupon for 2 Jr + 2 fries meal. so satisfying. watched Jeopardy and Wheel then bed.
there's one by Savers senior day. Woo Hoo!! across Homestead.
I found 2 dresses and jersey headbands I can make wrist wallets $15. Grocery Outlet has new food. pepperoni grilled cheese and steak stew, avocados 49 cents, salad.
home 6 pm for a feast.
home 3:30. feeling exhausted. emotional clearing.
I gave Walter $25 container store gift card and season 7 Big Bang Theory. to ease the pain of missing his dad. distraction of new behavior. and being able to lessen his pain helps me feel my pain less.
and I reminded him of my embryo evolution theory. how some people are stuck short of development to full human being. he's still upset with Nahyoung. he got me chicken soup. his idea of rebelling.
and Fred and Toki are encouraged to get on with their lives. so a good day.
A productive day.
sleeping, waking is happiness with her affirmations. such positivity.
watching the Librarians it's all about the relationships. Walter doesn't have that. he has no desire to be a part of people. his dad isolated him like mom isolated me a form of abuse. he may be afraid. I learned by watching shows. I love people. I love watching shows. I love watching people.
how did I miss Table 19? 2017 movie. uplifting on so many levels.
bit by bit, cell by cell I heal.
seniors 7:50 I soaked and stretched. St J Gloria I shared Walters specifics of grieving and PTSD. she gave me her donut, bagel, yogurt.
my fascination with Grimm has to do with the monsters walking around. the people stuck in evolutionary stages as lizards, wolves etc. never being fully compassionately human only looking human. explains a lot of questionable behavior. and why God allows it.
I felt so sleepy I left the library 2 pm. I considered paying Bartolo but I'm no longer forcing myself beyond my limits. new behavior.
my stomach is finally healing from 1972.
and I honor her. I added little veg soup can to rice w/lunch chicken. OK. I'm craving chocolate drink.
I drove back home for county returns. I left them by the front door. +.4 mile.
PCH no free sweeps. I'm listening to Louise. my good addiction. the culmination of 75 years.
I want the rest of my life of ease and comfort.
and I keep learning. if I click on the year I access all posts. or month by month is visible.
I started 750 Fancy Cats puzzle. lots of cats.
Walter is trying to get kicked out of lunch throwing a hissy fit. Fred and Toki trying to help.
drove to Cup picked up 4 Librarians, Elsbeth, etc. I had to turn in Louise CD. I decided I wanted $5 Safeway. tried Maria old corn dogs tried 24 hr Safeway none bought chips, back to maria Safeway 2 fresh corn dogs from bottom. DINNER.
home 5 pm. Sunny hot spot pick up 5/8 same as city return.
