taking care of me 24 hour fitness-HEAVEN!!--21/65

miss Vicky Jesus'sister has 24 through one pass.com from Kaiser.  Toki can get it.  

9 am sitting Cup lib auto return not online listening to Louise using city guest.  HEAVEN!!  

Asian man just gave me free 17.6 oz new Manuka honey Apr 2030.  I love the stuff.  online $50.

Oh that man from 24 Super in sunny vale parked next to me.  he'd buy a newspaper and trash r/t share.  I've seen him here weekends.  

and now to read Marla Gibbs.  more Heaven.  I returned and borrowed movies

I expeditiously picked up St Justin from Sandy.  cheese and PBJ.  perfect w/corn salad.  I bought a sale book bag $5 and single $1 of French and Saunders.  I finished 1 puzzle.  

seat cover-seniors I sit and read, my favorite thing to do-23/66

I can make over the jeans.  tool belt.  purse.  back pack.  

Fred, Toki, Walter lunch company good.  salads and sandwiches.  tiny cheese cake bites.  must be Father's day.  or Juneteenth.  Biden made it holiday.  

I walked college Safeway, bought $5 Jack Daniels pulled pork.  home with corn tomato bean cilantro salad.  

home 2:30.  

I'm excited like it's my b'day-25/66

warning lucid dream of older and young predator pretending to be contractors seeking prey.  my home remodel is almost complete.  don't allow in.  

I ate potato eggs I cooked last night at 5 this a m.  then thought and relaxed sans TV.  

I biked for half and half hours after the pool.  Candice asked my input on her difficult mom.  old Asians act crazy.  

I gave Walter birthday white willow contingent it works for him or return.  I reminded Fred brought a belt and I wanted cd player and Toki.  he didn't want jeans.  I can convert it to a tool bag.  

post office drop off 6:43 am-31/66-Barbara O

I've tried so hard to forget I forgot to list my injuries.  and car repair costs.  

my initial phone meeting w/Barbara O.  I remembered @ 12:50; hustled my chrome bag-phone from the locker room and questionnaire bag from car.   Phew!!  50 minutes.  she explained the process could take a year.  

poor Eric Togami.  he had to go through the trial 1998 and appeal 2003.  

I went to Panera redeemed $5 reward for steak melted cheese sandwich.  so good with coleslaw.  perfection.

bed 8:30 nothing on TV.  

determined to fill up $5.20-38/66

8 minutes to accomplish.  lunch meatballs extra Walter.  Ruben sandwiches chips juice.  I gave Paul LLoyd's friend ham cheeses.  

I sat with my pain then biked an hour processing sadness, getting it out of my body.  I still felt restless and used it to fill out the questionnaire a little at a time.  took all day.  made a copy of what I had at Mission then Central.  

decided I wanted beet from CVS.  and walked Safeway green olive 12 oz loaf $3 clearance and 4/$2 chips.

home 7:30.  pleasantly exhausted.  

back to work-39/66

I found the return envelope.  I'm more stressed than I thought.  I have no idea how it got across the room.   

just thinking of the questionnaire brings up MAJOR PTSD Eric and my parents and sisters.  the last almost 40 years.  HELL!  

everything I've avoided to survive.   IT'S BACK!!  like a horrible movie monster that won't die.  

home game show won't play.  early bed.  

Fitness 24-humid 77 %-48/66

I biked after shower.  I could take another.  nah.  fun playing on machine.

over to St J with a plan if not open corn dogs.  Ruben gave me his chips, yogurt and cookies.  I got a messy donut.  

central library Heaven copy room my car stays cool under parking.  I didn't have hi lighter so I puzzled 300 pc Disney SOUL.  

I LOVE BEING MY OWN BOSS!!  2 Jack Box taco I have tomatoes for dinner.    

beautiful-r'cvd phone records

left home 6:30 after rinsing car windows.  took my time enjoying the ride.  I filled 3 water bottles, returned to car I forgot my shorts.  found my hard rubber garden clogs.  I didn't miss them.  showered, washed socks.  biked 30 stretched 90.  filled 3 more water bottles changed from work out and put towel, pants, socks in car to dry.  

lunch with the family.  Fred, Toki, Walter 11:15 wandered looking for his counselor.  we all left early to minimize heat exposure.  Toki wanted vanda orchid lei for graduation.  

under main library.  and heavenly copy room.  woman came in for skype or zoom job interview.  hope she gets it.  I told Dino 'Camino' Medar how overqualified he is for senior center how we are blessed and he said his last Friday, Tuesday last work day.  job with Mtn View.  he's taking time to go to world cup LA Bosnia v Switzerland game.  I'm so proud of him following his heart.  

I just realized Eric and Frank bailed on purpose.  Rose.  mom died of a broken heart.  

wheel-jungle, a chic outfit

exercise the easiest drug-Wednesday 6/17 @ 1 pm-57/66

the fastest way to change chemistry.  I just noticed his name is Eric.  

I melted down talking to Eric Winberg when he asked about my level of upset.  I skimmed Eric's sad legal problems his dad Frank died 1998 while my dad Frank died 1999 and mom 2001 died.  I didn't tell him about my sisters' eviction shenanigans for the next 8 years and ongoing harassment.

Danielle Arena paralegal to Barbara Olsen will explain, fill me in re questionnaire.  

Walter is taking an interest in my problems.  I let him read all the papers.  his dad was hit by a car at Good Sam.  I told him I've got him beat hands down in the pain/complaint department.  maybe there's hope.  he said he can't change I said he thinks he's more powerful than God.  

seniors still pain full-and puzzle picture box top gone-59/66

insanity makes me sad.  my family.  crazy part of the family of mankind.  

the insanity gives me pause to rest more.  caution and discretion.  lunch with my real chosen family rewards me.  Toki took over Walter I can't tolerate now he's too immature, too selfish, too needy.

in the computer room I rest and listen to Louise.  I'm reading Gary Zukav, Linda Francis Heart of the Soul emotional resolution.  very specific directions.

I'm exercising to change my feelings r/t eating.  I biked 20 and stretched.  wow I'm stiff.  depression is like that.  

I decided Danny's recycle $7-60/66

with God everything is easy.  I'm feeling major inner quakes which means I'm totally safe to feel.  I'm feeling sick and horrible.  and this too will pass.  

I don't understand those wanting to keep everything the same.  preferring the known devil to gambling on a possibility of heaven. 

I'm feeling so angry.  someone messed up the television puzzle w/o order.  I'll forget it today.  I want to walk Savers and Grocery Outlet.  burn off adrenaline and cortisol.    

nervous NRG-still need to add car tag-63/66

I've missed soaking in the tub.  more than I realized.  I calm my nerves.

the toxins are leaving my body.  I felt so guilty not doing more for Eric when my dad was dying.  I don't know how I survived.  my mom and sisters attacked me as well as my parents.  CRAZY.  too much to deal with I checked out.  I've been AWOL from myself.

mourning Eric

I'm reading through the fire and trial.  he had it so tough.  I'm still astounded Rose charged him rent while he cared for his grandfather, attended SJSU and worked in the garage.  I still can't wrap my head around it.  makes my childhood seem like a fairytale.  

1:30 I felt tired.  my feet hurt and I filled my water and came home to rest.  I borrowed Who Framed Roger Rabbit and What About Bob?  I'm re watching Elsbeth.  

4 pm Belmont Stakes.  Golden Tempo Derby winner too.  

Wheel-70/66

I forgot yesterday so I did it first thing.  

I watched Franklin & Bash 3.  there is no 4th season at the libraries.  maybe Youtube.  

I printed Eric's obit and Frank's March 12, 1998 murderer's denied appeal 2003 of his 1999 conviction.  

Sunny 73/66-"Healing is sacred work".

Louise Hay.  I'm soothing my soul.  I love my rhythm of life.  lunch was Fred, Toki, Walter.  he's been taking home extra.  I got 2 bowls of whole wheat noodles.  

someone set out a 300 piece harvest puzzle I finished.  I put away the 500 Dan Craig castle into plastic bags, keeping the edge separate.  

Candice was helping Anne fill out forms.  I was just thinking of her and here she was.  

I want to try microwave scone and corn bread.   

And someone stole puzzle box top-PAID WATER, DISCOVER-74/66-DMV reg.

one tough little puzzle.  beautiful castle.  not as much fun as the cats.  

Walter is more receptive.  he still tries to deflect to hold on to his old life.  Fred, Toki make life fun.  

I redeemed Inge's recycle $6.  worked out perfectly.  7 am.  no one there.  

woke 2:30-6:30(77/66)called Jan @ Consumer copy of 2/14/2024 phone usage Paid Bartolo & mailed Life

I've started on the questionnaire.  I very carefully read it.  

my reward is the 500 piece Dan Craig castle puzzle by Spilsbury.com.  

June I'm renewing-78/66-Yamuna goddess-128/37

I ate the last tamale/2 eggs.  what a weekend.  my best yet.  

Life can be fun.  who knew?  

I'm stressing over reliving the collision.  I'm to fill out questionnaire.  ugh!

so I'm rewarding myself w/300 piece 19 cats puzzle.  funny expressions.  

Walter got me extra fish and zucchini.  I didn't want the bell pepper slaw.  I'm going to cook the salsa.