helpful people

i'm counting them.  maybe 5 a handful.   65 % of people are good and honest.  I've lived my life with the 35%.  my family was the 35 %.  I'm spending my life without the 35.  

i swam 2 1/2 hours.  lunch long line 'til 11:30.  Walter's doing better.  Diana gave me outdated monopoly tickets.  gave me something to do.  I puzzled 'til 5:30 went to nob hill for ads and to redeem    

CRASH!! can't remember password

so i'm using another way.   so google won't let me renew y mail.  

bingo fun no win.  

you tube all new healing music.  I don't know where oldies are.  

stopped at sprouts clearance jerky.  i drove king's highway to sunny.  i don't like the raised pedestrian walkway and i can detour.  i puzzled 'til 6 pm then sunny sprouts quinoa snacks, pie 2 blueberry halves clearance $1.99 ea, and cornbread.  i'm blessed.  dinner pie and pork.  

brave cathy

she sent me a halloween card and stickers.  she's doing great in Hawaii.  she has buddies and family.  she goes to the Ray Kroc Center.  

Pat Vorreiter 2007

everything i wrote disappeared.  i looked up her info to check her address.  she was Ailing and Mitt's fourth and final lawyer.  and everything evaporated into the ethos.  like the belief i ever had a family.

1998-2007 was hell.  dad fractured his spine and i watched his decline and passive suicide.  counselor's words.  then mom made good her 1993 suicide attempt on May 13, 2001.  my sisters upped their cruelty and betrayal.  more than four times the agony with my ex husband.  i had to overcome the family history of denial.  56 years to that point.  

King of Queens television show ran those years.  my mini vacation from the overwhelming pain humiliation lies and torture.

i'm processing the pain of divorcing my family.  down to the core of my being.  who i used to be.  i'm deciding who i'm becoming.  i fully expected the pain would kill me and yet here i am.  

so i'm pampering myself.  doing a little housework for my pride.  celebrating me.  eating chocolate.

3 egg omelet

i've changed my mind.  i don't want to go to crowded cup to see parrot show.  it will be noisy and full of kids.  i feel relaxed and choose to stay this way.  

i puzzled 'til 9 soaked 'til 10:30 picked up st just lunch avoiding comic con.  i decided back to first baptist i walked an hour and half.  i budgeted $10 picked asi lo mar mesh bag, washable office pen organizer, pieces of white lace fabric, adze.  she wanted to charge me $12 so i was going to put back the fabric, she gave in.  she gave me an additional bag for adze.  

home best lunch.  

checked my c u balance

i'm feeling paranoid.  Life is going well, fear is bubbling up.  seniors i showered and then biked 30 minutes.  i timed my lunch walk for 1 of 2 extra.  after seniors i went to prune lucky's for freebie and $5 royal blue 2 X hoodie.

2 hours walking 1st baptist rummage sale too high.  yard and half blue lace and dirty glass vase $8.  home at 5:05.  if still there tomorrow maybe for much less.