NOB HILL MARKET

TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY TO USE THE $5 COUPON.  I FOUND CLEARANCE 3 GUMMY VITES, 2 BOXES ALMOND BARS, TWO BREAD BUTTER PICKLES, CALCIUM CHEWS, DELICIOUS 18 OZ MEATLOAF.

AND LOTS OF MONOPOLY TICKETS FROM SAFEWAY.   35 FROM G2, 15 FROM MARIA.

GINNY 4/15

WILL BE 95 APRIL 15.  SHE INSISTS I COME OVER AND HAVE A PIECE OF HER BIRTHDAY CAKE. SHE'S HEAVEN SENT BOSSY AILEEN REPLACEMENT.  AILEEN WAS ALWAYS MOM IN THE FAMILY.  I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS GUILT CAUSED MY PARENTS TO DEFER TO HER.

THE LEFT SIDE OF MY TAILBONE IS ON FIRE.  MY STOMACH HURTS.  THE EXERCISE AND STRETCHING IS WORKING.  MY ARMS AND UPPER BACK ARE STILL MUSCLE BOUND.  MY FEET HURT AND TINGLE FREQUENTLY BUT IT COMES AND GOES.

I'M LISTENING TO LOUISE HAY POSITIVE AFFIRMATION COMPILATION ON YOU TUBE.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.  SATURDAY DO NOTHING DAY.

GREAT DAY!

AUNTY WROTE!!  I LEFT SENIORS AFTER BIKING, STRETCHING, LUNCH.  WALGREEN'S HAD 6 PINTS OF ICE CREAM $.29 EACH LESS THAN $2.  I GOT HOME EARLY.  WHILE PUTTING AWAY MY THINGS MAIL CAME AND THE ENVELOPE HAD SOMETHING STRANGELY LUMPY INCLUDED.  SHE SENT ME $20 AND 12 MONOPOLY TICKETS.  LOL.

I WATCHED HUMOR ME AGAIN 2017.  I MUST HAVE WATCHED IT NEW.  EVEN BETTER THE SECOND TIME.  I ATE BURRITO AND CUT UP CABBAGE.  SO SWEET.

oh, yeah.  I LOCKED MYSELF OUT LEAVING MY HOUSE KEY, USED THE SPARE AND DIDN'T CARE.

i'm feeling exhausted

I ALWAYS FEEL GOOD GOING TO SLEEP AND SO STIFF AND PAIN WRACKED ON AWAKING.  I'M SO TIRED OF THE PAIN.  LIKE BEING BED RIDDEN.  MOTIVATION FOR SOMETHING BETTER.

I WANT SATURDAY.  I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, I DO WHAT I WANT.  STILL NEW AND FRESH TO ME.  60 YEARS OF SERVITUDE.

6 hours sleep

I'M FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT.  WHAT NEW WONDER DOES TODAY HOLD?  BY MISPLACING AND FINDING I'VE LEFT THE PAST.  OLD BEHAVIORS.  THE UNCONSCIOUS CONNECTION TO MOM BEING GASLIGHTED BY AILEEN IS GONE.  THEIR STEALING FROM ME IS NOTHING NEW AND THE REPLACEMENTS ARE BETTER.

WHEN I MOVED HOME TO CARE FOR MOM AND DAD I STEPPED BACK INTO THE PAST.  I DON'T WANT TO KEEP UNPLEASANT PATTERNS.  I WANT THE NEW IMPROVED.

I'M WARM AND COZY.

NOW FOR THE REPLACEMENT FAMILY.

LIFE IS PRETTY GOOD

YESTERDAY I DID MY TAXES WALK IN AFTER EXERCISING AND LUNCH.  LAST NIGHT I REALIZED I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE FRESH OFF THE BOAT BOOK WAS.  I LOOKED IN THE CAR THINKING I LEFT IT THERE TO READ IN EMERGENCIES.  IT WASN'T IN THE BOOK, COMPUTER OR LUNCH BAGS.  I FINALLY FOUND IT IN THE BIN BY MY CHAIR WHERE I'D BEEN READING. 

TWO DAYS OF BIKING, SWIMMING, STRETCHING WAS TOO MUCH SO TODAY I RESTED.  I HAVEN'T MISPLACED ANYTHING IN A LONG TIME.  I DO IT WHEN I GET TOO TIRED.  I STILL CAN'T TELL.  I DELIGHT IN DOING.

I'VE BEEN FIXING SEWING PROJECTS.  I'M PLANNING ON JEWELRY. 

TODAY WAS BOOK MOBILE DAY.  THEN I WENT TO ST J AND FOUND 3 MAGNIFYING PAGES FOR $1.  LARGE, MEDIUM, PURSE SIZED I AM USING AS A BOOK MARK. 

wheeee!!!

I'M HAVING FUN!  I'VE BEEN AWAKE SINCE 4.  I'M WATCHING SPACED WITH THE HOMAGE A METER ON AND LOOKING UP PROGRAMS AND MOVIES I'VE NEVER HEARD OF WHILE DOING MY STRETCHES.

I MADE AND ATE MY BARGAIN OATMEAL.  3 BOXES OF 10 VARIETY FOR $1 EACH.  I FILTERED WATER, MADE SUPPLEMENTS, I'M HAPPY.

THE DISHES ARE DONE.  I HAVE THE DAY TO MYSELF.  MINE ALL MINE.  I'VE NEVER SAID THAT BEFORE.  I ALWAYS HAD TO SHARE.  NO MORE.  MINE.

ANOTHER GOOD DAY

TOMAS IS BACK.  HE LEFT VOICE MAIL LAST NIGHT 5:23 SAYING HE HAS MY STUFF IN STORAGE.  HE'S BEEN TALKING AND TALKING ABOUT RETURNING IT TO ME.  HE HASN'T SO FAR.  I OFFERED TO PICK IT UP AFTER RETURNING HIS CALL WHILE AT CAMPBELL LIBRARY.  HE INSISTED HE'D BRING IT OVER AFTER CALLING AND THEN DIDN'T AGAIN.

I SAW WALTER IN THE SENIOR PARKING LOT.  HE'S ATTENDING GRIEF MEETINGS.  HE COMPLAINED ABOUT HIS SISTER STILL.  I TOLD HIM IF HE WANTS HIS LIFE TO IMPROVE HE HAS TO KEEP FOCUSED ON THE OUTCOME HE WANTS.  STAY ON TARGET LET HER GO.  SHE'S THE SAME HE MUST BE DIFFERENT FOR A DIFFERENT LIFE.

I TOOK NEWSPAPERS TO ST. JUSTIN.  JOHN AND I TALKED ABOUT CAN OPENERS.  I ADDED AN OXO TO MY COLLECTION $1.  I FOUND A GOOD COPY OF DONALD DUCK IN MATHMAGIC LAND.  HE RELATED HOW HE BROKE HIS OLD MANUAL CAN OPENER  MISUSING IT AND HIS SISTER ALWAYS INSISTS HE OPEN CANS WITH A NEW ONE SHE WON'T LEARN TO USE.  I HAVE AN OLD ONE AND FOUND IT IN TEN MINUTES NOT IN THE DRAWER BUT IN A JUG OF UTENSILS.  SUCCESS.  I NEVER LIKED IT.  I TOLD HIM I'D DONATE IT TO HIM NOT THE SHOP.

THERE'S NO THURSDAY NIGHT COMEDIES SO I'M RESTING AND READING AND WRITING.  MY FAVORITE.  I COULD HAVE GONE TO LIBRARY TO DO TAXES BUT MY BACK IS TIRED. 

I FOUND J. SWIFT "A MODEST PROPOSAL" 1729 ON GUTENBERG.ORG BECAUSE EDDIE HUANG WROTE IT CHANGED HIS PERSPECTIVE AND LIFE.  IT'S ABOUT SOLVING IRISH POVERTY AND OVERPOPULATION BY CANNIBALISM OF IRISH INFANTS.  JONATHAN SWIFT ALSO WROTE GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.  I DON'T SEE THE SATIRE CONNECTION.  YET.

WORRY

I AWOKE 4:45 THINKING OF REAL ID AND HOW LIFE GETS MORE COMPLICATED.

THE FAMILY TRADITION, A HABIT TRYING TO KEEP ME SAFE.  I NEED IT AFTER 10/20 IF I FLY OR WANT ACCESS TO FEDERAL SITES OR I WANT TO BUY ARMS.  IT SAYS WAIT FOR DMV RENEWAL.

BUSY DAY.  THE CHROME BOOK SHUT DOWN @3% POWER.  SO I HAD TO START OVER.

I WASHED MY HAIR.  I RETURNED 4 DVDS AND PICKED UP 3 AT THE BOOK MOBILE.

LUCKY'S OFFERED 500 POINTS FOR $25 SO I REDEEMED THE OFFERS ON 3 CLEANING PRODUCTS, CHIPS, MOUTHWASH, FROZEN FISH FILLET AND GOT 1000 POINTS.

aileen shark

BITES THROUGH HER OWN JAW IN THE MIDST OF HER PACK.  THE PIECE FLOATS DOWN AND AWAY.  LUCID DREAM.

I STARTED WATCHING UNDER THE EIFFEL TOWER LAST NIGHT.  THE REVIEWS ARE TERRIBLE. 

i love wild open spaces

 THIS VALLEY WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.  THE VALLEY OF HEART'S DELIGHT.

AND NOW IT'S HOT AND CONGESTED.

I LOVE MY WILD, WEEDY YARD.  IT'S HEALTHY AND NATURAL.

I LOVE MY MESSY HOUSE.  MY PLAY HOUSE.

FEELING PANIC

I'M LYING IN BED HEALTHY AND HAPPY WATCHING DVDS AND IT FEELS WRONG.

I'M WAITING FOR DISASTER.  I DREADED ANYONE CALLING OR KNOCKING ON THE DOOR.  IT MEANT NEGATIVITY=DEATH.  MY MOM AND SISTER THREATENED DEATH TOO MANY TIMES FOR THE INGRAINED REACTION TO BE IGNORED.

I'M EATING FRESH FREE FRENCH BREAD FROM LUCKY'S WITH REAL BUTTER FROM ST J SENIOR LUNCH.  AND I'M BETTER.  I NEED TO DANCE AROUND A BIT.

i'm feeling hurt

THE RAMPANT RACISM IS PERSONAL.  HILDA GAVE ME EXTRA CORNED BEEF.  GERDA GAVE THE 2 EXTRA SALADS TO ART.  I PUT 2 BUTTONS IN HER WALKER.  I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ONE TO ROSE MARIE AT THE TABLE.  I'LL GIVE THE REST TO ST JUSTIN'S. 

MAYBE I'M WRONG. 

living the dream

I'M FORGETTING TO LIVE AS IF I'VE REALIZED MY DREAMS.  THAT'S FAITH. 

JOHN REMINDS ME.  HE HELPS ME REMEMBER.  HE'S ALWAYS ACCEPTING AND REASONABLE.  HE GIVES ME HOPE THAT HUMANKIND WILL BE OK.

I'M WATCHING MY DVDS FROM THE BOOKMOBILE. MAQUIA, RED TURTLE, CRIMES OF GRINDLEWALD, GOOSEBUMPS 2. 

CHECKING IN

L. HAY SAYS ONCE A WEEK.  I SAY EVERY DAY.  I WANT TO SOMETHING GOOD FOR MYSELF EVERY DAY.  I DESERVE IT.

I WROTE ST PAT CARDS FOR EVELYN AND AUNT TOMIE YESTERDAY AND MAILED THEM.  I THOUGHT I'D MAILED MY MEDICARE AND FOUND IT WITH BILLS.

DOING THE BEST I CAN.

DST

SO I DECIDED TO CHANGE THE CLOCKS SOMETIME TODAY.  NO HURRY NO WORRY.  GOING AGAINST THE FAMILY TRADITION.

AND I'M IN PAIN AGAIN.  IT'S DEPRESSING TO THINK  THAT'S THE REST OF MY LIFE.

HOPE OF PAIN FREE KEEPS ME GOING.

FUN

I'M EATING IN BED AND I FEEL GREAT.  I MADE VDK FISH FILLETS AND I CAN EAT THEM ALL IF I WANT.

WHAT AN IDEA.

I LOVE NOT HURTING.  I'M STRETCHING.

YES!

JOHN GAVE ME MOROCCAN OIL BAG AND I FOUND LIQUID HAND SOAP AT WALGREEN'S WITH LAVENDER AND ARGON OIL.

I STARTED WATCHING KERMIT SWAMP DAYS AND ST JUSTIN HAD A HORSE PUPPET.

COINCIDENCE?  WE'LL SEE.

NOT COINCIDENCE.  I BIKED, HAD RB/PICKLE (REMEMBERED PICKLE) SANDWICH, DECIDED TO GO TO MISSION LIBRARY TO TRY FOR CHROME BOOK.  I HAD TO TURN IN CENTRAL COPY.  BEA  HAD 3. 

I WENT TO $AN C (SALAD, KEY TAINER, SPRAY PEROXIDE) AND PARKED ON THE STREET.  SHEPHERD'S PURSE WAS GROWING IN THE PLANTER.  I THOUGHT AND I USED THE TONGS IN THE TRUNK TO DIG THEM OUT INTO A PAPER CUP.  TYGJ.

$AN J, LOOKING FOR WINDOW WAND AND GLUCOSAMINE, NONE. AT ST J I FOUND 3 STRETCH BRACELETS AND A TURQUOISE 'FROZEN' UKULELE.  AT 3:30 WHEN I GOT HOME I REALIZED I FORGOT TO RETURN COUNTY DVDS.  AAUGH!  I CHECKED ON THE CHROME BOOK. 

I DROPPED OFF MY STUFF AND PICKED UP THE DVDS.  I RETURNED THEM TO CUPERTINO AND PICKED UP 3.  EASY PEASY. 

I STOPPED AT LUCKY'S FOR MY FREEBIE SODA AND FROZEN FISH FILLETS.  AND HOME FOR A DELICIOUS RELAXING DINNER WATCHING FRESH OFF THE BOAT AND COOL KIDS.

WAHHH

6 HRS SLEEP DOESN'T FEEL ENOUGH..

WALLEYED IS STRESS OF FEARING ATTACK.  PERIPHERAL VISION IS IMPORTANT WHEN AVOIDING ATTACK.  SINCE EYES ARE CONTROLLED BY MUSCLES THEY CAN BE RETRAINED. 

NO WONDER

DENTISTS HAVE THE HIGHEST RATE OF SUICIDE OR AT LEAST THEY USED TO.  MAYBE BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE MONEY GRUBBERS.  NOW WITH IMPLANTS COSTING THOUSANDS OF $ DENTISTS ARE MAKING PEOPLE MISERABLE SO THEY CAN MAKE MORE MONEY.  BAD KARMA.  DR FARI'S NEPHEW WAS KILLED RIDING HIS BIKE.  SHE DID SO MUCH UNNECESSARY RESURFACING ON MY TEETH WEAKENING THE STRUCTURE SO SHE COULD MAKE MORE MONEY. 

DENTAL

AILEEN-DENTAL HYGIENIST HAS TAINTED MY LIFE.  SHE HAS ACCESS TO MY RECORDS AND BROUGHT HOME MY PLASTER CAST CLAIMING IT WAS MITZI'S.  WHY SHE TOOK IT I CAN'T IMAGINE.

ALL THINGS DENTAL MAKES ME SAD.  LINKED TO HER CRUEL BETRAYALS.  I NEED TO PRAY FOR HER MORE.  THAT'S SOMETHING REASONABLE I CAN DO.

i'm angry

ALMITA CHARGED ME $5 FOR WHAT SHE GIVES AWAY TO ALL WHITE PEOPLE.  FAKE SANTA TOO.  NO RESPECT.  RACIST. 

NO WONDER ASIAN WOMEN ARE THE MOST DEPRESSED GROUP.  FIGHTING DISRESPECT FOR A LIFETIME IS EXHAUSTING.  AND I KNOW WHY JOSIE REFUSED THE SENIOR CENTER AND ROSE MARIE EXPECTS ME TO LEAVE HER HARASSING.  WHY HER BODY BROKE.  

A HOTBED OF RACISM.

I AM FREE

I GET TO BE A FREE RANGE CHILD.  IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE A HAPPY CHILD.  I CAN BE AND DO MY HEART'S DESIRE.

I'M PLAYING WORD SEARCH AND SLOTS AND EARNED 133,000 TOKENS.

I'M DOING LIFE BETTER

THIS IS MY 4TH SABBATH.  TAKING ONE DAY A WEEK FOR ME IS GREAT.  I CAN DO OR NOT. 

YESTERDAY I DID ALL MY BANKING.  AND LUCKY'S ONLINE REFUSED TO LOAD SO I HAD TO COME HOME AFTER GETTING GAS AT COSTCO, EXERCISE AND LUNCH AT SENIORS, CHASE BANK, ST J, MAIN LIBRARY, MISSION CU.  OR I WOULD HAVE GONE TO LUCKY'S SARATOGA TOO.  WHEW.  TOO MUCH. 

I AM TIRED AND CRANKY.

I FEEL POWERFUL BEING ABLE TO DICTATE WHAT I WANT.

NEW MONTH

HOPE IS A GREAT MOTIVATOR.  I GUESS THAT'S WHY I KEEP LOOKING TO EXPAND MY KNOWLEDGE.  IMPROVE MY LIFE.

I WAS DEALING WITH SUICIDE FALLOUT YESTERDAY AND ROSE MARIE SHOWS UP.  THEN AT LUNCH SHE ACCUSES ME OF HAVING A HICKEY.  SHE MUST THINK SHE'S FUNNY AND CLEVER.  SHE'S ANNOUNCING TO THE WORLD SHE'S A WHORE, EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY STUNTED.  I KNEW HER DAUGHTER'S CANCER WAS DUE TO HER INFLUENCE.  NOW I KNOW SPECIFICS I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.

T'M FEELING INSULTED, INCENSED.

3:30 PM-ROSE MARIE SHOWED UP AGAIN CLAIMING I TOLD HER IT WAS CORNED BEEF TODAY.  I GAVE HER A MENU YESTERDAY SO SHE COULD PHONE IN FOR THE 15TH AND OF COURSE THE STUPID BITCH LIES AND MAKES IT MY FAULT.  I'M HATING HER RIGHT NOW.  HER DAUGHTER'S CANCER HER FAULT.