i so deserve the best.

sprouts 99 cent salad, guacamole, curry chicken.  senior lunch ok.  family always treated me horribly.  and now i'm treating myself.  so much goodness to enjoy.  still feeling tentative.  i'm getting used to the best.

i slept through the night

unusual for me.  i sleep like a baby waking 1-2 times.  watched book club next chapter.  eh, ok.  i don't like to travel i want it to come to me.  

seniors no hot water-maintenance.  like every year.  everyone in pool so i got to be one of the great unwashed.  maybe 10% shower before jumping into water.  i tubed an hour and voila! hot water.  whew, i don't like leaving chlorine in everything.  and i got to watch a moon set.  it was beautiful hanging in the sky 8:30 am.  

annoying alien is using puzzle table i'm in computer room.  movie won't play.  maybe the computer i'll ask at main.  i called carlos oil change thursday after lunch.  lunch alt chick salad good big, fresh tomatoes.  

i puzzled, went to main puzzled, picked up requests, on to savers purple tags half.  next door eggs then sunny picked up requests, used sewing machine fixed patched arts pants.

10 pm 61 degrees.  like summer.

i love seeing normal

the blog format starts at normal.  woke at 7 drank shake and got gas at cost co at 8 no line.  i swam, lunched, puzzled 'til 5.  i am blessed.  

savers opened november

i used to drive to redwood city, 3 san jose stores, milpitas.  i'm feeling blessed savers is here now.  i'm still adapting to having it so close.  

my feet hurt the nerves are waking up.  

joy ride 2023

the first truly free A Z N women.  funny, smart, makes me happy.  cleverly written and produced.  se the tone for a good day.

i swam, i puzzled, i bought last clearance crab cakes and cooked one package.  good domestic day.  too's day pick at sunny and using sewing machine.  

i'm bored and grateful

i've had plenty of drama and peace is wonderful.  this explains the insanity of war.   putin was bored so he invaded ukraine killing people on both sides.  

dino said no bingo and i didn't ask.  they probably need the room.  mom always said 'the standing nail gets hammered down' and she punished me plenty when i did well.  so i avoid attention.  i can go to savers or home early.  cathy and alamida sick.

i picked up free chips and clearance perfect sirloin steaks.  if they weren't perfectly marbled no fat or gristle i would have passed.  

i'm feeling lovely relaxed.  annoying woman like a bad cat.  sits in the middle of puzzle table provoking confrontational conversation, i'd rather leave.  she's a senior so knows better won't do better.  the beauty of seniors no excuses no need to tolerate.  unteachable.  i have my older sister for that.  the job is filled.  motivation for me to choose again.  probably the most useful exercise from doing the 'course in miracles.'  being autistic it was simple for me.  i'd put the affirmation on a 3x5 index card with the instructions and take it with me all day.  

i don't miss bingo.  puzzling is more fun and relaxing.  i can move and groove.  i'm stretching my legs and back.  college safeway clearance frozen crab cakes 5/$2.99 and 3 lbs egg potato salad $5.  plus 99 cent sprouts salad perfection.

my neuropathy is improving

 my feet legs hips hurt and weigh a lot.  my ankles are swollen.  the nerves are reconnecting.

good swim.  20 minutes then cody bookmobile.  2 new movies 'oppenheimer' and 'lamya's poem' rumi poetry.  

i love reading my blog-55 degrees warmer than spring

i'm feeling quietly normal.  

inge called me back monday voice mail.. she's in hayward for eye surgery.

seniors i tubed for an hour.  lunch veg lasagna good and cheesy.  amber had filling out food survey drawing i won lunch bag.  i finished puzzle and walked sprouts.  bought clearance salty snacks.  decided i needed home time 3:30 domestic chores.  did some mending.  wearing to stretch joanie boots.  hemming pj more than i thought.  cooked rainbow carrots.  purple ones taste like clove.  cooked 2 pockets, ate 1.  i have salad i want some chili noodles.  so good.

global warming 55 degrees

what an amazing world.  warmer than a spring morning.  i swam early 8:30, lunch ok with toki and fred.  i puzzled before and after lunch.  before i knew it 3 pm, walked sprouts snack $7.  i'm worth it.  savers senior day before i knew it, 6 pm.  my new favorite day.  humming bird wind chime $3, jewel pens 10 for $5, owl shopping suitcase $3, gerber carving knife $5, 4 unicorn head bands $1 ea, goo.  never too late to have a happy childhood.  i'm quite happy.

56 degrees

 i went to seniors early.  i swam, lunched and puzzled 'til 6.  yay! me!

mr skeffington 1944-cream rises to the top

i'm so happy.  i can do what i want when i want today.  special features and more movie edited to fit tv time slot.  made me cry.  it's set world war one and two, skips great depression.  love story of unrequited love until the end.  complete movie makes more sense better continuity.

thinking about 'igor' it has so much of my life.  cartoon form suicide, physical mental abuse, family dysfunctional issues and love.  so many funny jokes and lots of silliness.  and 'i can see clearly now' one of my go to karaoke songs.  on a par with 'good morning, starshine'.  great music overall.  funny it's never been on tv.

i did it all.  i went to cup drop off pick up then sunny book sale i found 'bowfinger'.  so i bought bags' worth.  then inspired 3 pm i drove to sunny atria and saw art masunaga # 241 open 8am-8pm library delivery.  i visited half hour before rain.  i remembered i wanted hot pockets 12 for $10.  i splurged on $2.99 hungry man chicken dinner.  mom always said tv dinners were too expensive while she went out to lunch everyday.  no wonder she was fat.  

perfection makes me want to cry

my back, neck, legs hurting from sitting.  i don't know how people do it.  sitting an hour and half at bingo torturous.  

i'm feeling blessed i can go to Savers and walk to my heart's content.  i get to look at new things everyday.  open 7 days.  

me so naughty.  female chinese black dyed success permed tried to reserve shower put towel over rod.  after 10 minutes i put it in my bag.  when she comes back sees it peeking from my bag.  i made her work to get it back.  so rude to keep others from showers.  now i know the feeling of satisfaction of mom and alien taking from me.  they never loved me.   woman watching smiled at me.  like she knew too.  

sprouts beet salad with raw red onions.  reduced to $6.12 doesn't list feta or glazed walnuts.  i used chop sticks i keep in car to enjoy at library.  25 cent choc cake, more $1.99 cherries.  i ate some last night they were so good i ate them all.  today's not as good.  ok for the price.  

i fixed sweater inge gave me.  sewing the lining was easier than i imagined.

planning my day

i loaded my shopping offers.  i want to pay a gas bill at walmart.  did it.  3' ice and brush metal 75 cents and 2 orange hostess cupcake $1.58.  i picked up lucky's free soda and chips $1.99 cheapest.  went to sprouts 10:30 2 blueberry pies, 2 half rye loafs and cherries $1.99/lb.  i gave toki pie cherries and banana.  she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday so i'm giving her what i want when i want. 

mom must have been a secret eater.  to maintain the weight a great deal of time is involved.  i never saw her eating other than dinner.  she didn't eat b'fast, worked.  unless she drank her calories.  alcohol puts on the pounds. 

lunch portions were tiny.  3 times left overs and hill doesn't know soybeans.  bingo i picked $5 snack bar and small red dress bag.  i'll offer to inge for her b'day.   

i made it through another week.

i love it

sitting seniors waiting for lunch on our devices.  me, shan, eddy.  electronic family.  toki recognized shan immediately.  diane sat with linda.  went to dentist kepr me waiting.  unusual.  sprouts i got last lemon danish special woman came up trying to talk me out of it.  not.  went to main and picked up 'igor' then proceeded to walk savers 'til 6 pm.  half off changed wed from blue to silver.

right toe, right toe hurts from eating doughnut holes.  yet, so delicious.  

watching 'life with father'

1947 movie set in 1883 new york.  i never thought of it before i never noticed.  beautiful depiction of wealthy all white history.  as if non whites didn't exist.  amazing.  and the fact wall street existed before social security.  so many things to consider.  children only know what they see.

seniors at 9:30 no parking.  i read and organized my day.  10 am a dozen parking spaces opened.  relaxing swim, lunch eddie, toki, diane.  i puzzled for a bit new 1000 piece boring.

perfect cool sunny laundry day lots of company.  finished charging chrome.  then sprouts walked store late.  can of curried chickpeas.  home unloaded and easily hung everything.  basketball i stayed up to watch wheel of fortune.  i couldn't finish watching ken jennings show.  

boo, hiss anthem blue+ downgraded me

oh, i'm so happy.  after senior swim and lunch i went to savers senior day.  i found 2 hair dryers, my movie 'life with father', and a new 700 watt microwave.  so happy i unloaded car easily.  i considered sewing at sunny 6-8.  i feel stronger.

while waiting for 5 pm i called to check my otc benefits and $30 instead of $125.  what!!??  so i called the phone # on anthem card and got southern cal.  care more now care lon only south.   connected me to north anthem blue who connected me to corey bruffett.  i now have more free benefits 'medicare prime'.  took 81 minutes.  too late for this week.  

happy holiday to me

walking thrift stores would be good exercise.  or costco.  or i have 10 new movies.  

'blind willow sleeping woman' took watching 3 times to figure out.  the special features are in french with frequently unreadable captions.  i looked it up online.  they seem confused no info.  finally i noticed the writer director composer french based on japanese short stories.  

i went to nob hill for specials and then on to savers.  it's self check out and i spent hours walking and looking at everything.  blue is half price.  i bought an organizer and ornament hooks.  then grocery outlet chips $2.19 and $3 eggs.  i ate the last eggs this morning.

i'm staying up to watch jeopardy.  wheel was great.

11:30 cup library

8 requests ready they say 6 online.  i checked and i'm waiting 'til i'm ready to go.  2 didn't check out i took to desk and she was weird wanting id when i'd already checked out 6.  

i hot tubed 9-10:30.  i had cactus barbs on my suede boots.  i noticed and removed with paper towels.  ginny shouted across the pools as i was leaving.  i drove cup library and ate my banana in the car.  laid out my wet towel and suit.  beautiful warm sunny day i can wash laundry or go puzzle in sunny.   no puzzle i like.  i ate cottage cheese and crunchy bar in car.  i started puzzle 'til 4 bad allergies and a cough er didn't cover his mouth no attempt.  my eyes itch and nose runs and i don't care, i'm calm and accepting.  i stopped at sprouts $13+ for dark chocolate pepitas and mint almonds 2 pieces chocolate cake.  i'm celebrating all my ignored birthdays.  i'm learning to enjoy life.

i have everything i need. 3 day weekend

and i deserve it.  i've worked very hard at being my best me.  constant vigilance.  

noon sprouts clearance sandwich and potato salad, orange cheese and lemon bites.  i debated buying 2 and decided i deserve it.  i stopped at st j new store after senior swim.  most relaxing.  library i picked up 3 movies.  I ate my lunch and laughed a lot.  so many funny kids.  home 4:30 time to putter. 

celebrity jeopardy 3 hours.

37 degrees out-mallory puzzle bookcases

i pray for all without shelter.  so many i know had childhoods without comfort and now remain on the streets.  they have habits and patterns that don't allow them peace.  i'm afraid for them knowing i'm not qualified or capable to help them.  i send them loving thoughts.  walter was homeless with his dad and last conversation considered living out on the streets again to avoid the conflict with apartment management.  unfortunately there's always going to be something to stir the waters.  

walter came by seniors 3 pm center closing after his counselor.  i didn't win bingo but remembered i wanted $5 friday potato salad and cooked beef roast.  and i found 2 clearance argan oil lavender shampoo.  score!  

morning i picked up lucky's free drink and clearance 4 piece bacon wrapped chicken breast stuffed with jalapeno sausage.  i microwaved one high-2:22 simmer 14 minutes so good.  and i ate 2 pounds salad already.  i'm set for 3 day weekend.

my first macGyver 1/1/87 original air date

henry winkler produced.  i was busy surviving 1985-92.  it's amazing the audience didn't get bored with the solves.

i swam remembering to avoid 10:30 locker room traffic jam.  lunch ok companions a hoot scraping sauce off turkey burger.  i didn't want extra food or bag lunch.  i bought a clearance sandwich from sprouts and lucky's burritos are exactly what i want.  

winners on wheel are bold, don't mind wrong answers.  so many are afraid to answer wrong and don't buzz in.  and don't win.

i enjoy driving again (hot spot) mashallah!= thank god!

pakistani film 'what's love got to do with it' about love, arranged marriage and the modern world better than i imagined.

listening to 'red bird christmas'.  i was sitting in traffic enjoying stop light.  makes a huge difference.  i swam an hour.  feeling it in my legs and hips.  potato salad i bought another sack lunch from layne.  puzzled while drying my hair after lunch.  stopped raining i parked under main open windows to air towel and suit.  adopted a lunch and cookies.  puzzled, charged devices home 6 pm.

oh, no basketball.  wheel on 10 pm.  i get to do what i want.

taking time off

wow 11 and parking.  i puzzled and the locker room was packed.  new pool class started.  lunch ok lee wanted to gossip i refused.  i can do that now.  i wasn't allowed by family forced to hear dirt about anyone.  lies.  ear pollution.  depressing to be related to such slime.

bought potato salad $5 bag lunch only p b j i got banana, chips replaced apple.  milano cookies, water, almonds.  best deal for dinner.

walking shopping is my new exercise.  i walked prune lucky's checked leg warmers may not be marked down by the vendor, green burritos 2/$1.  stopped and walked homestead safeway 79 cents burrito, no xmas gifts.  i bought chocolate parfait $3.49 got cash.  

hurrah!  9 pm i'm awake to watch 'only murders in the building'.  'embrace the mess.'  i love it so much.  i get to choose my family.  they may be pretend but they're enough for me.

delightful 'til walter

i went 9:30 puzzled 'til 10:30.  showered, ate chef salad, extra bean stew.  puzzled more and walter showed up 2 pm.  he's stuck and fights to stay stuck.  he's more invested in self pity than happiness.  oh, well.  everyone has a right to their vision of heaven.  

better or worse.  i feel worse after walter.  he replays his tapes not living just dredging up his pain over and over.  he treasures his anxiety by refusing to try new responses.  i run from pain he rolls in it.  i have to cut him loose.  he doesn't want a better life.  he rehashed November again.  i feel like i lost 2 months of life.  i left at 5 then returned to use wi-fi.  took half hour.  

i rested 'til 3

i considered libraries.  i decided to check out wi-fi at nob.  i walked store got ad.  then lovely warm on to cost co gas $3.99.  line i picked i was second car.  all 3 pumps cleared.  so 10 minutes.  i went to gym parked #1 space but showers tepid.  i tried 3.  ok.  walked lucky's, checked leg warmers not reduced yet and home. 

epiphany

noon at the library.  i'm celebrating the kings gifting the Christ child.

i picked up groceries at st just.  bought sprouts clearance sandwich, apple cider baked 9 doughnut holes reg price $9, 3 mini quiche.  lots of clothes, blanket, towels st just.  time to do laundry.  

home i left cantaloupe and salad for birds.  i considered sorting food in garage decided to take assortment home.  took me 2 hours to put everything way.  i wore back brace.  i tried to open garage freezer was iced shut.  i turned off power and opened with bucket for ice, slot screw driver and hammer,  tossed some freezer burns.  took 10 minutes while cheese pizza cooking.  i managed.  

tried something didn't work

no hot spot.  page wouldn't stay open.  the beauty is the chrome stays charged.  

i tried nob hill parking lot free wi-fi if i can remember to go.  pot, long term loss of short term memory.  i remembered i condensed shampoos and recycled the bottle.  i'm officially an ani-maniac.  

showered, people asked me why space in parking lot, fewer people, no pools for swim.  people don't think.  played on new puzzle.  lunch diane gave me used almond cheese.  i love trying different.  

stayed up watched wheel

pat sajak's retiring his last year.  i'm feeling wonderful.  weirdly different from the last 25 years.  it's weird not feeling dreadful.  i'm looking forward to going to sunny, returning hot spot, giving up wi fi.  i feel ok.  i puzzled 'til 5.  nob little beef bean burritos 59 cents ate 4.  

oh, so good.

cherry pie with cream.  yum.  i love dairy.  so good.  i walked sprouts bought clearance cheese  i swam, lunched, deposited and checked sprouts.  went to main and puzzled 'til 6.  i'm pleasantly tired.

basketball tonight i may sleep early.  last night 'murders in the building' lasted 'til 11.  

forgot bank card

and i forgive myself.  i swam i'm so stiff.  i missed the tub.  sun hot and wind cold all day.  lunch ok.  nice to get back.  i resisted but once here ok.  went by sprouts no bargains.  

bart came by put out both green bins a few fence wood.  he's asked me a dozen times since 8/2022.  i asked him to put it out during cleanup he can't remember.  guilty conscience clouds memory.  got card drove to chase flora vista.  limits have changed i withdrew $1690 to pay bart and cost co and my bills.  

for the first time in my life i'm not hungry.  i've always felt something was lacking.  yesterday and today doing all i want.  

taking my time

no football yay!  wheel of fortune.!!

i showered at gym 2 half of 8 showers broken.  walked big safeway nothing i wanted.  scooted across to sprouts 2 special cherry half pies 99 cents ea.  driving home i considered panda express checked maria deli.  donut and cash.  whole foods disco deli.  I remembered sunny bought hot teriyaki chicken thigh and tomato cod $12.99/lb hot and salad bar $7.53.  home at 2 pm lunch and dessert.  slept to 'strays'.   

perfect new year's.  i've been recovering the last 23.  my new year always belonged to the family.  toki driving to fresno for family reminded me.  i never even considered what i wanted to do.  i wasn't allowed.  i feel so free.  mom's last new year's alien forbid me to attend and mom agreed.  i was happy i got to sleep in and i was always the one helping mom cook.  2001 the beginning of the end and a new beginning.