sigh

watching Funny You Should Ask I learned Saint Drogo is the patron of the ugly and St Bibiana the patron of hangovers.  I do love learning.  

I soaked and stretched 8:30 am.  I walked dollar tree.  I'll wait 'til next year.  

senior lunch was OK they held back so much food I got more veg balls for leftovers than in my meal.  Toki and Fred and Melvin.  I went to central but annoying Puzzler intruded after 10 minutes so I went to Cup and picked up Two Mules for Sister Sara and then home for People Puzzler then sale it's not delivery it's Digiorno pizza.  baked it while watching Person, Place, Thing.  life is improving.

24 hour fitness opens 6 am tomorrow.  

found my books.

I'm taking care of business.   I set them aside and didn't remember where I left them.  I came home and retraced my steps.  eureka!  

I'm getting ready for 2025.  

I showered stretched at 24 fitness it was early I decided to go to Cup to pick up movies.  straight to seniors took half hour.  they were late opening.  fish was OK cod not tilapia.  

I got my chips at college Safeway.  two clerks commented one liked low salt classic the other preferred low salt BBQ.  I told them I mixed them and they were amazed.  it never occurred to them.  

I ate too many while watching my game shows.  I was so happy until my stomach got upset.  I went to Sunny, picked up my movies, played on the puzzle.  I forgot to eat dinner.  7 pm I ate split pea soup with tofu ham and my stomach is better.  

a very full day.  

I'm a simple person

the key to happiness, I know what makes me happy, having what I want when I want it.  watching Temptation game show.  favorite game shows 'til noon.  Sale of the Century, Classic Concentration.  

I ate tofu ham b'fast.  I want to check out sunny dollar tree and Safeway for chips.  doesn't have to be today.

64 degrees at noon.  I'm resting from an hour deconstructing the mouse condo.  I read an article of homeless seniors in LA.  and that number will grow as the population grows.  the people at the top only care about hoarding more wealth.  they are hoarders of wealth that could be used for comfort for everyone but all they care about is more for themselves.  the ones who worked and built their fortunes are used and cast aside.  

Sydney has finally decided he deserves a home and the waiting lists are 10 years long.  he has a Chinese woman advocating for him.  

I wanted spaghetti-os with toast.  I considered baked beans on toast.  so good when it's what I want.

I am so ready

I figure our bodies make us glad to move on to the next phase.  well, I'm ready and my body continues to fall into disrepair.  I'm a happy volunteer ready to go.  

I'm dealing with feelings of desperation.  old stale feelings bubbling up in the safety of today.  feeling the healing.  healing the feeling.  the only reality is feeling.  all creation comes from energy=feelings.  positive, negative, constructive, destructive.  energy is non judgmental.  

I'm enjoying being.  my tv table fell over and I don't care.  I picked everything up.  I used to feel so disgusted.  huh.  I used to judge and label myself based on my critical unloving, mean family.  

I'm enjoying watching All of Me Steve Martin Lily Tomlin.  How to Marry a Millionaire, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.  fun stuff.  Georgia Rule 2007.  not so fun but important.  

I cooked the tofu ham in orange soda.  delicious.  I made a big salad and 2 pieces of sunflower bread toast.  

Split Second 5:30

I ate my tofu turkey and was pleasantly surprised.  it hasn't been on all week.  I don't like Monty Hall.  he acts like he knows the answers instead of being given the answers.  

seniors are late.  I took my time $ tree didn't have plain or candy vitamin c.  I bought night time cold medicine.  

seniors were late.  Fred, and Toki gave me her apple pie.  Walter and Salome sat at next table.  we're so popular our table fills up early.  I charged up the chrome.  

library was great.  I puzzled a little.  2000 pieces of Christmas wreaths.  annoying man always trying to talk to me and taking over whatever section I'm playing.  

home perfect timing to play People Puzzler.  I was disappointed no Person, Place, Thing.  Happy's Place and Lopez vs Lopez laugh out loud funny.

cinderella

heroes are always alone.  their helpers are the fringe mice, birds.  villains=cowards travel in packs.  usually they hide their connections.  they lie and cheat everyone.  

I got the penultimate parking space at the gym 9:30.  lunch was OK.  I got an extra piece of fish.  Toki is better.  after lunch I walked prune Lucky's nothing.  Walmart I bought beets and eyes with expiring credit.  home I watched my game shows.  channels 4.3 and 4.4 are coming in.  65.6 has Quigley Down Under.  I'm in heaven.  

MERRY FREEDOM!!

I've never had a loving or even close to being comfortable relationship.  the people in my life have been judgmental and critical trying to make me over into their image of what they wanted.  

Well, I'm free!!  Whee!!  I ate the too sweet pumpkin pie.  

I baked the tofu turkey roast with wild rice stuffing.  I opened a can of jellied cranberry.  or it would be too dry and salty.  It's OK for 99 cents.  I'll add water.  I'm drinking a lot of water.  my stomach felt sick from too much salt.  it is very filling.  

I'm so happy watching People Puzzler.   

must be a lot of people using the internet.  It is very slow.  

Christmas eve-Pepsi 1.25 L-12/24/24 once in a lifetime

I've watched the William Steig from the library.  he didn't publish 'til in his 60's. 

Ellen Travolta looks like just Lily Tomlin.  I'm watching Love Boat home at 12:30.  The staff wanted to leave early.   

no parking at 24 so I only picked up free soda.  part of the lot flooded took out 50-60 spaces.  I considered going after lunch I'd prefer tomorrow.  maybe the flooding will subside.  oops not open tomorrow.  oh, well I must rest.  FREEDOM!!  

I can pick up movies at city or county 'til 5.  nah.  Thursday is good.  

I considered Sprouts open 'til 7.  I heated 99 cent gluten free pumpkin pie but it was too sweet.  molasses.  sorghum flour.  my spatulas are perfect for the toaster oven.

my 3 grey cheap dresses are perfect to use under my 3 diaphanous dresses.  what an epiphany.  better than slips.  perfect for winter.  

2 days to Christmas-Celestial tea

I reset chrome.  it locked up, wouldn't do anything.  I shut it off.  even that took awhile.  I wasn't in the least upset.  amazing.  so many emotions I used to feel.  failure, incompetence, doom.  all the manipulative emotions I was trained and conditioned to feel to keep me enslaved are gone.  

I'm watching O. Henry's Full House 1952.  The Last Leaf Ann Bancroft and Jean Peters a better actress.  John Steinbeck the narrator.  great stories of humanity.  the history of the American people.  The Ransom of Red Chief.  a classic.  

72 degrees.  so warm I didn't need a shirt.  and Toki still unwell.  

nob hill I bought clearance cashews for $5 and dried mango $3.  I'm so blessed.  

3 day o' Christmas 12 oz onion dip

I love getting up at 8 am and taking my time.  lots of gym parking.  I parked Lucky's and walked the store no dip.  i drove to the gym thinking of going to Prune ridge.  i showered and remembered I forgot to check the candy aisle.  i went back to Lucky's and they had dip.  it took awhile I found the Lindor dark chocolate truffles I bought 2 more.  the large size costs more per oz than the smaller 5 oz.  

I went to Nob Hill to check clearance and jumbo fish sticks.  I found 2 toothbrushes for $2.  bag of hazelnuts $5.  I tried green burritos 2/$1.  OK.  and I was done by 11 am.  

I heated frozen Innovasian BBQ pork fried rice excellent.  so easy 5 minutes in the microwave.  I'm thinking of Chinese New Year's eve.  

I napped 2 pm -5.  

I'm making my best Christmas yet.

4 calling birds-2 free drinks

I walked both Lucky's.  I have visited all 3 in one day.  everywhere is so dusty my eyes and nose are reacting.  drops keep threatening, 30 % chance rain tonight.  Lindor dark chocolate truffles on sale.  

I'm waiting at the library for my 4:30 at St Just.  closes at 4.  

I ate tuna noodle with carnitas and BBQ chips for b'fast and lunch.  not helping my allergies but so tasty.  and the gherkin cucumbers are so good.  I may even grow some.  

everything went smoothly.  i picked up movies requested and rested reading newspaper.  puzzled a little.  St Just $20 gift card and bag of groceries.  my family is terrible God is good.  

next door celebrating Trumpers no parking I went to Nob Hill good sale Blue Diamond blueberry almonds $3.99 6 oz and Mac nuts.  YUM!

5 gold rings-yerba mate

I'm watching Jerome Kern bio "Till the Clouds Roll By"  and eating tuna noodle with raw sunflower seeds.  so good.

i apologized to Walter for not defining my rejection of his problems, he is not his problems.  what you accentuate the universe sends you more.  i don't want or need problems.  my life is good without problems.  some people use problems to gain sympathy or commonality.  the community of suffering.  not for me.  I needed to apologize publicly.

Trudy, Kenny, Toki was so late no parking and bingo day.  last of this year.  local Shen Yun mothers performed an hour.  lunch carnitas rice very good.  and due to Trudy's sharp eyes I got extra.  so lovely.  best Christmas lunch yet.  

resurfacing the pools is making everyone sick.  today they were mixing powder without safety equipment.  i could feel it from across the parking lot.  their lungs must be full of it.  my eyes are burning my sinuses are blocked.  

next 2 weeks lunch only.  i can take my time at 24 and visit libraries.  last year one week Christmas to New Year's.  Life is change.  

6 geese a laying-Saratoga water

I had a good walk.  I bought Bubly to try.  i couldn't find anything else.  Prune ridge has a wider selection.  

seniors was fine.  I returned Botswana. 

I may have to drop Walter to save myself.  He's just not getting it.  He's lonely and using behaviors his dad taught him.  I'm not his dad.  I do not find him entertaining or amusing.  I've told him he ignores me.  I won't suffer for him.  

after lunch I went upstairs where Francine and Mark were at the puzzle table.  Walter left when he wasn't the center of attention.  

i went to sunny library picked up my books and movies then on to Sprouts for $1.99 cherry pie, cucumbers 99 cents, calm $8.50, immune $2.50, $12 organic castor oil.

7 days Tate's mini cookies1 oz

Extremely heavy fog.  some places 5 foot visibility.  drivers be crazy.  

I'm relaxing.  I've walked Lucky's, showered, biked.  I made it unscathed to seniors.

i ate the 3 Hirata Mac crispy cookies.  so crunchy.  b'fast pizza with sunflower seeds.  

lunch was tiny lasagna.  Toki came in picked up lunch and straight home.  I enjoyed Fred, Salome took over.  I went straight to college Safeway for chips, I forgot soup.  eh, today's first day.  

8 days Jones soda 22 cents recycle deposit

my life is better.   

i went to 24 hour shower then walked Lucky's.  arrived seniors 8:30 my regular spot.  no cold water in locker room due to shower maintenance.  I changed and exercised.  at the puzzle I said hello to the other father caretaker and got talked at for 20 minutes straight.  

lunch was ok.  Toki cancelled to care for her cold.  Fred was funny as ever and Walter went on and on.  Diana came over to talk to him and I asked if she had any aches and pains Walter feeling sorry for himself complaining I couldn't take it.  i told him  I was running away from him if he kept moaning I already had a complaining father.  he's becoming his father without a caretaker.  I mentioned the other caretaker Albert and son Steve could form a support group.  Walter knew Steve would drone on like Walter himself.  he doesn't like the mirror.  i told him about the $662 for new tires.  there's always something, it's how you handle it that matters.  

he said I'm the happiest in all the time he's known me.  he's acting weird.  I printed the tire receipt 20 minutes message low toner I informed Gabby.  then on to pick up movies at central.  i went to Safeway for salad and chips took an hour looking for coupon, clerk finally over rode computer for sale price.  we couldn't find the coupon to add.  i got home 2:45.  

9 days beer salt-$662 4 new tires-Hiratas Christmas box

if they have it ok I don't need it.   i want pizza and chips.

reading From a Far and Lovely Country page 31 dad refused Aunty Katchan adopting me because I was money in the bank.  a servant, a farm hand.  I thought he was jealous but greed makes more sense.  

flat tire I called CSAA 12:11 Ronicia booked my call.  Manuel called 12:29.  he's terrific.  maybe I should have used his tire guy.  eh, next time maybe.  

1:20 sitting waiting on America's tires.  mostly it's on the way to Cupertino.  1:44 pm Saul is slick $220 inflated to $618 plus tax $662.  tires $55 ea plus sensors and certificates.  2 hours.

I picked up movies then pizzas for today and tomorrow.  chips on sale @ Safeway.  home I baked both.  

10 days 12 oz drink

today's freebie Barrilitos drink 12 oz.  i'm nursing my cold and watching the Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.  I'm out of cold medicine.  

11 days of Christmas

full blown cold.  the freebie today is sour candy straws.  i do want pizza and chips from Lucky's.  and county movies.

ooh, I'm watching Flicka and Son of Flicka.  Horsey movies are heavenly.  

I just remembered I have celery and tuna salad for lunch.

I decided my health is most important I'm staying out of the rain and resting.  nothing and no one is more important than my health.  I almost killed myself taking care of others never again.  no gratitude no help.  

i and my health come first.  i cancelled the movie expired today and put in a new request.  the next hold expires Monday.   

oh happy day

I did it all.  I loaded free coffee and choc truffle.  i bought 4 soup.  seniors was fine.  I biked and stretched.  at lunch the misogynists kicked me off their table I don't really care.  there weren't enough places.  Jon added me to #1.  Fred was late.  I puzzled 'til 1:30.  I love relaxing.  

I watched my game shows. played wheel.  tomorrow is open.  I want my movies from the county.  they're ready.  

Jane must have given us COVID.  she said she was sick 2 weeks while colds last 5 days max.  

I added sausage to split pea soup delicious.  feed a cold.  

12 days starts tomorrow

I caught Jane's cold.  she's always going out to eat.  so I'm taking C and allergy plant.  and drinking plenty of H2O.  

and today auto update.  someone left Christmas puzzle.  a bunch of new ones downstairs, hankies, planners.  abundance.  or a bun dance.  

I finally shared with Cody my phonetic pronunciation of doing and going.

i decided 1:30 to get gas.  Coleman was easy.  $3.69.  home for People Puzzler.

life is simple not easy seniors 6:41 am

I made scrambled eggs on celery.  I keep forgetting I have celery.  goes well with tuna salad or peanut butter.  I appreciate versatility. 

seniors 6:51.  39 degrees crazies standing outside.  

biked half an hour.  stretched 'til it stopped hurting.  lunch weird fish weird beans.  I got left over to fix up.  maybe BBQ.  sweet sour.  

aaugh!!  Mitzi sent me an after thought generic card post marked 3 days late no acknowledgement of tardiness.  I sent them cards for years with no acknowledgement.  I don't know if I want to laugh or cry.  I just know it still hurts.  

I heated lemon salad mix with fish and cherry goat cheese.  I feel better.  

I'm listening to new healing music.  subliminal bypasses the negative brain to allow peaceful, gentle change.

awake since 3

I added tomato sauce and parmesan to the senior left over pasta chicken.  ok.  

I biked 30 minutes at seniors.  my legs are weird and dry I used lotion.  I went to C U with my new license to deposit.  Adrian wished me happy b'day.  

Sprouts had 3 flavors 4 oz goat cheese I chose cherry.  I bought 2.  I restrained myself.  the first time I ate goat cheese I wondered about getting a goat for weed abatement and making my own goat cheese.  today I realized I only need goat milk.  

after people puzzler I went to sunny dropped off my books.  I passed on Sprouts and chose watching person, place and thing.

9 pm I feel energized.

my new life

every day is the beginning of my new life.   I watched Split second, dressed and voila 6:44 seniors.  I can catch up with myself.

when I first started coming to the senior center it was because this was where mom came after her suicide and I was feeling abandoned when she never treated me like her child.  I still had hope.  

home early.  I walked Sprouts bought 3 edamame 99 cents ea and lemon salad mix.  I added to pizza.  so satisfying.  I couldn't find my license and postponed deposit.  home I found it in chrome bag.  and new copy in mail preview Saturday arrived.  

Split Second

today 7:30-9 and Monday 5:30-6:30. 

I went to 24 hour fitness at 2:30.  then nob hill for pizza.  3 meat.  

the step sisters must be thinking of me

I'm feeling threatened.  I had a warning dream of 2 PGE blue service trucks on the street passing me for no reason.  evil intent.  

I don't want to do anything today.  so many movies and shows today.  I watched Temptation 7:30-9 and Astaire and Rogers movies.  

I added 20 lbs potassium salt to softener half full.  i have a system.  and I'm covered in garage dust.  

Watching Chris Rock 2001 Down to Earth has Jennifer Coolidge. County has it.  i'm going to watch my favorite comedy movies over Christmas for the best ever.

chrome weird

maybe too much puzzle.  or solar flares static.  been here before.  Toki left me chips and card front porch.

At lunch time everyone is feeling it.  the consensus is that everything is functioning weirdly.  I got extra fish meal from Jess.  

I called Blanca at Anthem for benefits.  I'm losing OTC benefits next year.  I'm being the responsible adult.

I got water soft delivery.  hooray!

I went to inge's

$5 for recycle.  then Home Depot for water softener potassium salt and cleaner.  I'm having it delivered.  look at me a grown up lady.  I was ready to pick it up but no one came to carry it out.  40 lbs too much.  

next Medicare.  oh, I have to pay Bartolo.  I forgot banking.  

I woke 5:30 and watched game show  Split Second Monty Hall.  I don't mind getting up early for something I enjoy.

I put out a new puzzle.  The last one had 2 missing pieces I put out to take.  someone brought back one piece I found on the floor after lunch.  I added it to the box.

and I'm waiting for the Cody mobile.  done and done.  returned 3 movies borrowed 4.  gave him 2 apples.

my shoulders are sore.  could be laundry or Home Depot.  

46 degrees out

I made oatmeal and ate the last slice of pizza.  And watching Split Second.  Monty Hall.  I love my game shows.  

senior lunch my united nations with food.  Walter sat with Salome and ate calming down.  

I used lucky laundry and washed one load $4.25, I used the walker to transport it and it worked GREAT!!  I got home 2 and had lots of time to hang clothes.  

fun! fun!

if I time it I can have sunny hot spot over new year.  I could keep central  but I'd rather not.  

people puzzler might make me stupid.  I don't know if it's the pressure (I hope) the players are so dumb.  I feel frustrated or maybe it's a marketing ploy to get contestants.  

I cooked nob hill $5 pizza.  I wanted 3 meat and bought dad's favorite pepperoni.  so good.  

my life is improving

2:30 People Puzzler - I went to Lucky's for the last day Mac nut sale.  no unsalted so I only bought 2 onion garlic.  

Walter is in major denial.  he prefers to stay where he is emotionally condemning everyone like his dad.  I can't afford to connect and have him drag me down.  he has the right to regress.  

At home the recycle mountain fell and I almost did too.  I didn't get upset.  I picked everything up.  new me.  

I'm not used to the hot spot.  i'm used to working around not having it.  

I love playing all day

I watched Barney Miller season 4 and Murphy's Romance.  I looked for the book to explain and expand the plot couldn't find it.

Today I'm happy.