playing lotto, scratch, wheel. computing slow. and i'm ok today.
i did a lot yesterday and i'm feeling it. finally watched all of 'national velvet'. she deserved an oscar.
i did a lot today too. i have everything lined up paying bills, banking. drank my coffee cola to stay awake. for dinner i made noodle, asparagus egg omelet. as long as i wear brace i can do everything pain free.
not as good without cranberry. i'll try to wait.
Hanna somatics work quickly. i read and did them in bed. woke aching. stretched watching 'murder she wrote' and slept 3 hours.
checked dollar store still no multi or amber mouth w. picked up lunch checked college safe way on to kyo po for asparagus, baby bok choy, white yams.
1:30 i'm too hungry. the mixed frozen veg good for a pleasant change. or maybe my hunger.
cup clerk wouldn't check in/out 'secret.' i'll keep it. on to safe way smoke meat none yet. walked michael's lobster clips. home i soaked asparagus. exhausted i napped 2 hours. dinner i opened can soup with raw asp so good.
back to work. i'm still looking for amber mouth wash. i bought 2 mask lanyards sent one to auntie and gave one to toke. i sent cathy a card and sticker.
i'm still trying to figure out how i sewed hilo dress. tricky neckline.
p c h games loading agonizingly slow. i'm entertaining myself changing screen size and placement.
today i'm listening to kelly howell positive thinking. stretching my brain. i don't know what happened to the chemical cocktail. it wasn't there.
O M G! i just remembered i have hanna somatics. God has always been good to me. i bought a copy of the book. i can remodel my neck and shoulders. my hips and back.
i disappeared everything. i could still hear sound healing playing on you tube. i may have minimized everything. i looked in the chrome icon at the bottom and clicked on the icon. there were a bunch of icons i didn't recognize. i can revert to draft and publish from there.
i drove all over. i walked lucky's, maria-G 2 safe way, ross' i found car shades $5 organizer $6 over door acrylic hanger $7 like big lots for $12 glass lotus i've always wanted $9, $v dollar tree, senior park news paper walked stretched, college safe way clearance chick pot pie, 2 marinated artichokes. mission lib i computed. i forgot monopoly. went back i want beets anyway 2 cranberry/cherry jam 4 pasta.
i love saving money and buying everything i want. i finally ate shredded chicken with artichokes beets on side. yum.
it does or it doesn't. it's a mess. oh, well. lol.
returned 4 cup picked up 5 new movies. got my free star bucks cold craft mocha delicious, had to exercise discipline not to gobble it all. safe way looked for free vermont smoke cured meat snack out. home for love boat. charged chrome. ate lunch. i don't know what i did with pasta and chili.
i'm sitting kiely park wow! i tried cup lib won't connect like s v p. i can delete emails that's it. i feel blessed. p c h problems like 80% of the time.
i'm close to listening to all 5 hours of chemical bliss.
when i view blog i can new post. so i only have one tab. and new post takes me back to all posts. so, finally it makes sense. when i took computer science engineering dept 1969 it was all hit and miss. i got a b for writing a taylor polynomial program that never ran successfully. i determined you'd have to think like the programmer to figure out the program. scrambling brains. maybe why hackers do what they do. they like scrambled brains. i liked the field trips but the courses were taught by bored teachers. so i transferred to business where some teachers actually liked teaching their subjects. and it's back to garbling. i can go back to where it last appeared and pick it up but it doesn't reset by clicking just anywhere on the page. i have to be exact.
soaaa
it was a bathroom day. i went home 1 pm. i did my regular routine. went to college safe way. got 3 usable tickets. the clerks are rebelling the changes in the monopoly game.
it's still better than 80 like when i was bed ridden. when i was finally able to get out of bed after 8 years i looked in the mirror and saw my mother. maybe why alien and nit resent me.
i feel ok just not like yesterday. and today the winds blew me to main early. the sycamore trees at senior park being blown to bits. like snowing. the acacias at main are sturdier. wind is shaking car from side to side.
robert ohotto, caroline myss showed up unity email. it's been awhile since i checked caroline myss. she was on p b s regularly. it's nice to know i'm not the only one. they appear to have less personal challenges but who can say.
another shooting in colorado. when they decide to make machine guns harder to get fewer innocents will die. they news casters say they're shocked a shopping center was shot up. everywhere is fair game for crazies. when mental health becomes important society will be saner. when i was 8 i knew the world was crazy. shooters are just the end result of a sick society.
i ate salad early today. last night i ate salad too late and woke 2 times too much water.
i finally cut the bandana fabric. the red is 2 oversize scarves 1 shawl and black i had 1 scarf 1 shawl. win!!
opened a can of soup added shredded chicken. 3 pieces sourdough french bread.
i washed my hair, feels so good. i remember when it would wipe me out for a month, weeks, days. i'd
get up to clear gutters during downpour, patch leaking garage sink, whatever emergency came up.
i put out bins picked up 9:30. put away 10.
i'd keep re injuring my back, doing what i had to to protect nit's interests.
i walked, stretched minimal popping. i feel twenty something today.
internet doing weird things. s v p back high jacking signal. and it has check in page. i'm astonished.
chrome wouldn't let me before. it's typing over printed words. i have to keep moving things around.
i just don't know. i took off preference. c s c preferred. and the rows scrunched together. maybe i can get it at home.
at main using c s c.
oh, it's a mess. oh, well. after picking up lunch i went to college safe way. clearance mango pineapple 4/$2 fruit cups, whitman, russel stover 3 piece valentine samplers $.45. i wanted chocolate, ate 2 and tried to play word search. brain stuck in neutral. maybe diabetic parents stuck in neutral.
diabetes modern disease from ignoring evolution. we're meant to graze all day not gorge 3 meals. no wonder we're sick. we do everything not natural.
took me a while to figure it out.
i used to dread 3/21 ex's b'day. not this year. today's daily word i forgive myself. i finally have.
i made instant mash topped with shredded chicken and instant gravy. too rich. stomach rumbles. very rich b'fast. last night i watched "the man" eugene levy, samuel l jackson 2005 buddy movie. he has a hard time digesting beef. lol.
i watched 2012 "joyous noise." overall good. i'll watch again. first half uneven. music excellent. i started "leonard and marianne" love story in music. today sun morn c b s had ali macgraw and ryan oneil love story'. hmm..
wind is making my eyes itch.
now i've seen everything. psychic match maker ad on you tube.
i found pineapple scrunchy dollar store. so cute i bought 2. i bought fun things for me. $7.77. then good will 2 skirt hangers, necktie rack for chains. i gave bee mask lanyard. picked up lunch computed, went to main. left early to cup then safe way only water. home tired.
yesterday's'loose cannons' italian movie younger son says he's a writer knowing he can't say what he means but he can write it. so autistic. some really good books i've read. i get distracted talking.
most of my life. i don't want to do anything. no more back doctors. it doesn't have to be this difficult. it's ridiculous. comprehensive spine called i didn't recognize the number left v mail.
my stomach is hurting. could be the 3 cookies i had last night. could be my back. nausea, right big toe throbbing. i feel like a mess. this may it will be 20 years. it's been 50 on the original fall.
and this too will pass.
oh, i just remembered @ main park i hit my head on a bar yesterday. wearing a hat i lost track of the bars. that might be my pain and depression. i hope.
raining pretty good picking up lunch. here @ main clearing. lunch par. doing my job games sweeps. i feel a little better.
2 pm barely sprinkling i called am tire nicholas for tire air check, 15 minutes lance done. driving back way i decided to go grocery outlet looking at ginger root $9/lb. no. blueberry 6 oz 99, asparagus 99/lb both cheaper kyo po. ginger $1.49/lb. no cards under $5.
i feel successful.
i love there is no time i need do anything. i feel timeless. i feel blessed. phone rang so it still works.
my shoulder blades are sore but my back not too much popping.
i remembered today i have $1 tuna salad i can put on toasted bagel for b'fast. or i can make fresh. today i ate cheerios.
started feeling antsy and i walked briskly to bars, stretched. feeling strong today. some days i feel weak as a baby. wow i just had a 2 year old flashback when i cut my left shin on barb wire at auntie inouye chicken ranch. it hurt and i have bump there. the body catalogs all life experience. body memory.
i cut my right index finger opening plastic vitamin bottle. my allergies make my skin itchy and thin. i have hive. one itchy spot on my thumb and scaly itchy palm. huh.
yesterday i cooked half lb burger with sliced red onions, diced potatoes, shredded cabbage topped with poached eggs. mmmm.... add to that olive bread, heaven. 1:30 i'm still full.
i got 2 emails from mission post office acknowledging my claim then saying it was delivered. then they wanted survey. i told them i'm not satisfied.
getting used to dst. more car accidents generally occur. i'm pampering myself more. i walked and stretched. so good to feel good.
i heard street sweeper 8:45 am and moved car across street and watered down frosty windows. 4 bottles. the easy way to wash windows is help mother nature. i brought in empties i have full ones waiting. sometimes the nonsensical behaviors are so foresighted or farsighted.
i did it hurrah!! i asked ben and he checked in and out 'secret' c d. and i activated sim card by myself. i'm done with learning new things. technology is dragging me kicking and screaming into the future. i've had 70 years of learning.
i'm creating dopamine. i prefer to learn things i choose to learn. i have my quinoa and amaranth to cook and experiment with.
i emailed missing usps mail and paid city online. i got here senior lunch 10:30 sat until the driveway unblocked. old me would have gotten out and moved it, new me sat and waited. i'm usually the first. it's crowded today. meatloaf gravy mash greens. bland.
49 o. cold dark and windy. i feel better after eating so it must have been allergies from the wind. still blowing 25 m/p/h.
paid consumer cell and looked at online activation. i need both phones. i can do it.
i almost lost 3 important emails when yahoo started jumping around went to trash i retrieved them. whew!! dopamine rush.
i guess it's me. i don't like throwing wasting things. i respect the planet resources. until we can transmute atoms i believe we should have more respect for the planet. the planet is not disposable. it's the only one we have.
i decided to check st. j everyday.
i get it now. the slow internet forces me to wait, sit, think.
matt mc plays a pessimist. calls earth a 'giant gutter in outer space'. explains why people pollute the only place we have to live. makes no sense. this is why i watch anything. to learn. there's so much i don't understand.
last night i watched 'okko's inn' twice a completely different reality. forgiveness, redemption, thriving. or maybe not. i don't know yet. it has a place in my heart. 'igor' i watch over and over and it makes me laugh every time.
this morning i forgot daylight saving time. i went around changing the time. all of 10 minutes. glad i didn't do it last night tired.
my back is better. hanging from the pull up bars is really helping. stretching my arms, neck, shoulders, total spine is finally releasing the compression. it's wonderful not to be awakened by excruciating pain. my stomach is better. i don't have to race to the bathroom. no nausea this week. hurrah!!
pretty perfect day. stayed in bed 'til 10. put out garbage bin. 12:30 went to senior park. i picked up news paper, walked park, stretched. because of overcast internet good. when it quit i went to main. then i went past st just and found groceries and young cabbage. i stopped at kiely rec walked and stretched still computer connected. drove home 4 pm realized how hungry i felt. i wasn't allowed by family to feel anything. cooked asparagus added quinoa and chicken. so delicious.
last night i made quinoa more protein than eggs, this morning i cooked asparagus omelet. st just 2 dozen eggs lends itself to creativity. olive bread pudding?
i was thinking of fat. the fat is a cage restricting the person from being and doing. my family forcing me to limit myself through intimidation and criticism. what i wanted to say, do and be.
i watched replay of meghan, harry, oprah interview last night and didn't cry this time. seeing them betrayed on the world stage by family supposed to love and support them like me is very healing. and seeing them rise above it forgiving and thriving gives me real hope. tygj.
toke left me what she thought were game pieces-not. they'll make book marks. i'll leave her popcorn. it must be why there's big and small bags. one for me, one for her. she has family. i don't.
i just realized this is the first time in my life i'm not being forced to share. mom always made me give my things to nit and alien. dad just took my stuff. my habit of giving away the best before it's taken away.
and the games not loading forces me to be with unpleasant memories. 'SOUND HEALING' is working. tygj.
i can keep my good. i dreamed of large, medium and small boxes.
from day to day my back neck change. right big toe, hip hurting.
i started reversing car to watch senior center for lunch. heavenly i'm sitting listening to stress free eating good lunch. handed out survey with fish portion 3 x usual size. there are 3 sizes of container. paper and small aluminum and large aluminum. today large. i liked the carrots today. broccoli was bitter.
i told gloria about my contacts. i guess i do have friends.
1:11 pm i'm listening to stress free. i started at main to load freebie to my lucky account and pick up 2 holds. line too long i went to senior park, stretched, walked. got lunch, computed, ate watching classic concentration on you tube. college safe way i got free water 91 cents 2 small laundry bags. on to lucky's free cola coffee. back at main picked up 'islands of wonder' and 'words of love'. and more computing. don and done.
technology is forcing me to learn new configurations. stretching my brain. the computer crashing and having new folders, menu, etc. the phone frying forcing me to upgrade my phone and learn new techniques. it's exercising my brain.
a miracle. i didn't know they knew each other. both sweet and do no harm people. i hope they can help each other. maria said she's mailed post cards i never received. they invited me to s f with them in maria's rented car. too much for me. when i don't have phone and taxes to consider. got new sim card to activate. i heard grace from across store at check out. then maria from across talking to grace while i was in line. exercise and pick up lunch.
i remembered st just after returning cathy's v mail. talked 20 minutes. i parked main first. chris white woman checked me in and nancy asian swapped fruit for veg. so nice to be heard. tygj.
1:30 already.
almost forgot computer crashed last night. i went to mitsuwa for sushi and gobo then walmart i paid pge and looked for morey fish none bought pineapple sage plant 3.47. stopped kiely park to stretch and thought to check internet reception and screen black frozen. went home, charged and tried turn off again and it worked.
it was beautiful sunny until i collected my lunch. then after computing it dark clouded over. i high tailed it to main. full of testing cars. parked my favorite space rain turned t hail. stopped.
this morning woke 6:30 watched cabot cove dozing. heated chili and corn bread b'fast. 9:30 i showered, washed hair taking my time.
walked senior park careful to get wet sand off my boots after stretching. saw kelly wright. almost typed fright. omen. pay attention. she looks good. reassured her we'd be back. it's what i do. responsible, reliable old faithful. probably what makes me an easy mark. i like me.
i woke at 4. got my 6 hours. deep sleep. restorative sleep. i stayed in bed stretching to murder she wrote dozing 'til 8. warmed and ate the cheese asparagus stuffed chicken. so good. brushed my teeth got ready.
today i'm feeling calm. must be the weather. rain predicted. i want dark chocolate jellies. i might have to make them. oh. i'll google it first.
went senior park, walked, stretched and picked up meatball noodle spinach lunch. no computer i went to main. considered cup library. remembered st just. called to renew secret only 3 weeks. decided to pick up holds. went to safe way for 4 pasta=4 tickets. home by 3 for love boat. cooked noodles. added to asparagus havarti cheese, sliced olives. so delicious. watched tv fell asleep an hour. i guess i was tired. i missed classic concentration. i can catch the rerun 8 pm.
ooh, tomorrow chili spaghetti. melted cheese. mmmm....milk and corn bread.
i'm feeling lost. and vulnerable. tired and bruised. my back is achy even after stretching.
garbage came early today 10 am, thought it might because of weather. i devised plan of alternating bins.
i needed chips and mouthwash dollar store. my back less popping cracking i take as my back improving. seniors' baby chicken teriyaki ok. went to college safe way. monopoly only gives tickets on advertised items not every sale this year. oh, well gives me pause whether it's worth playing. another reason to give up besides data entry. truffle aoli too vinegary. maybe a little monk fruit sweetener will improve. i can't taste truffles.
i continued computing at main. i decided to pay citi due in 2 days. clearance lucky's cheese chicken asparagus $2.84. came home cooked it. ate one and saved one for b'fast tomorrow. forgot i had corn muffins, with scalded milk delicious.
i've had no phone calls so i called myself to ascertain working. good. tom used to call me because no one called him lamenting no one loved him. i always considered no calls no family begging for favors a blessing.
'i need not worry what to say or do...he who sent me directs me.' course in miracles pg 24 t
i was going to senior park and detoured. sitting here watching the young families i feel so sorry for them. the good part is they don't know a better, cleaner world when life was fresh. they can't miss what they don't know.
i'm waiting for my games to load. listening to stress free. half hour already. i didn't want to go anywhere and remembered wheel of fortune. if i wasn't addicted to tv i'd just be a lump. i wouldn't go anywhere do anything.
i have to do my stretches or suffer. kids are skinny and healthy always moving.
for breakfast i had 6-7 raw asparagus. so good. dinner i made mash, pork, sesame asparagus, beans. i'm eating healthy, exercising.
i realized watching 'danny says' danny fields knew many famous people striving to share connection and love. love of music, art, passion. those who succeed in broadcasting love energy are embraced by the multitude craving love energy. my first conscious experience was in a church chorus visiting a church with no chorus. the congregation's love and gratitude almost floored me, hitting me as an almost palpable physical wave. i felt faint and had to center and calm myself to stand.
also explains some celebrities (addicts) only feeling alive on stage. they live on drugs or sex trying to recreate the energy high on stage. impossible. the survivors come to realize life is a sine wave with peaks and troughs. judy garland died too early lacking enough impossible love. that's how prayer works too. getting enough people to direct psychic energy.
that's its popularity. projecting who you want others to see you as. not as you are. how will we ever have heaven if people persist in lying?
donald trump is responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths. on the north american native dvd washington and the rest murdered hundreds of thousands of native americans. this entire country is founded on blood of the innocents. i guess that's the animal nature of man. at least the truth is out there/in here.
march is stress. dad and ex. i went to college safe way 4 mini sliced olives $2 and i forgot monopoly walked back. homestead i bought cornbread for veg chili senior lunch. i tried to enter on computer, don't know how.
when i came home phone was on porch i called robot said i connected but phone doesn't work. i called service half hour wait i'll try tomorrow.
i was feeling desperate now i'm just feeling tired. my skull is sore.
made the best b'fast, the perfect blend of flavors. fork tender sweet sour pork, salty amino, on veg rice. perfect.
i'm feeling scared. daily word protected. i can feel protected and my body still feels the past in my tissues. e mail from yahoo today regarding the body responding to covid anniversary. i mentioned to teller monday depositing i felt it february when seniors shut down.
i looked online for the niece, nephews. lauren has pictures. wow, they survived and are ok. better than me. tygj.
said good by jenny and josie. watched asian americans and indians. so much sadness betrayals in history. must be the animal nature that keeps people coming back.
i remembered to fill up gas all on my own. and i looked online at envoy manual. not much info. not as complicated as i thought. i'm tired of learning new gadgets.
my appetite is back. i was worried i was sick. or worried sick. big difference. worry, my family tradition.
i guess because of weather patterns of imminent rain i get channel 9, 9.2, 9.3, 9.4. 5 disappeared.
i watched 3 steps pain free on muscle balancing. he's 68 and looks way older. teeter looks younger.
is feeling sad today. after sleeping to 'good omens' i woke to realize i'm casting out demons. i feel empty. demons are still company. why so many tolerate abuse to being alone. i'm feeling sad. and alone and bruised.
i picked up lunch one tortilla and fajita has bell peppers only. i'll wait and make asparagus and lettuce. guy had to wake me from my mourning to clear parking lot. main is pleasantly quiet. i'm blessed to have the opportunity.
now i feel like running away. i took back off phones to switch sim cards i don't know how to do it. i'm freaking out. i'll survive. i watched con cell tutorial online. right card. came home 2:07 called con cell jennifer connected me to tech support ruben. i put red motor 2004 card in envoy from 9/16/2015 didn't know if it would work. all instructions online. my caller id came up. all contact info is somewhere in phone with blank screen. sim card is only good for connection id.
envoy auto on off. black motor battery dead. i think red motor battery burned out phone.
i'm doing ok. i went lucky's and bought asparagus, clearance pork ribs, 3 pasta. and i'm done. i heated left over lunch added cheese and amino. delicious.
i mailed life insurance, watched concentration and finished auntie's card. i forgot it was march. no prior planning i just did it. no stressing for days. part of me feels irresponsible not worrying. like worrying makes me a responsible person. where dd that come from? i have to worry to be responsible? what i learned i guess. but then so much of how the parents lived made no sense. maybe they were happy with their high blood pressure and diabetes. who am i to judge.
i just want to be healthy and happy. my body has traveling aches hands, knees and tickling twitches right temple and left nose. sound healing working.
new daily word in logical dashboard. new month. fresh start.
i effortlessly picked up lunch 11:19, stretched, drove to p o, bank parking lot to withdraw chrome connected to internet automatically. who knew? tygj. so i started listening to sound healing early. and i'm still debating do i want to deposit today or tomorrow? today i guess.
much better connection today. maybe the weather. pch much more responsive. and it crashed.
i don't know. i walked lucky's bought asparagus drove back roads to deposit and home. i soaked asparagus and watched 'jason and the argonauts'and 'love boat.' i remembered senior sandwich i toasted extra cheese added pickled onions and lettuce. ate chips and almonds.
