my legs and feet swollen

could be injury, diet or both.  or my body is post traumatic stressing the fact mom committed passive suicide at 80 like Maude.  definitely a spirit movie.  the way the movie came together was a miracle.  I'm loving the Santa Cruz boardwalk and old Dumbarton Bridge segments.  

life is strange.  

I soaked at 24 hour and picked up free orange soda and clearance "crab".  my salads hurray!!  

I finished the upstairs puzzle and tried to print directions to Ocean Delight toner still low.  

lunch not good.  fish tasted off.  rice was dry.  Walter is better he cried over his dad.  I quoted Shrek "better out than in".  We went upstairs where Gil took over.  he creeped me out.  

college Safeway 2 salads, 2 chips, $5 egg Mac salad.  I used gift card.  

drive in movies

 Harold and Maude was the A movie and THX 1138 was the B movie.  3 gals sitting in the front seat.  we all worked at Macy's I was the only one going to school SJSU.  Mr Rhodes my high school counselor applied for me and I was accepted at all of them.  I could only afford San Jose State.  I knew my parents would hold my life hostage and it wasn't worth the energy.  I'd been working since 16 while my sisters were subsidized.  being on my own alone was my life since 8 years old.  I thought I was Cinderella.  my parents didn't approve of school and doing well made them hate me more.  

MASH 4077 film 1970

"suicide is painless, it brings on many changes"  I never realized with Harold and Maude 1971 suicide themes.  the special features are fantastic.  way before I found out about my grandpa hanging himself and mom took dad's sleeping pills.  

24 hour at 6:30.  I'm doing intermittent training.  I feel so much better.  

I figured out Jane.  she has to make someone wrong.  today at lunch she comes in prowling around the 12 tables looking for someone to argue.  

unsure

10 minute drive.  35-37 degree I remembered 2 full minutes to warm up.  I ate veg chili from seniors full of bell peppers.  

I've been wiggling more.  following my own advice.  water and exercise.  I feel better.  

an hour to do 300 large piece puzzle.  philately.   

listening to releasing guilt I can feel i'm still reacting.  

lunch not good.  the best part it was tiny.  I decided to go pay PGE at Walmart.  I walked Lucky's priced Innovasian pork fried rice $9.99.  at Walmart no customer service line.  I found 2 pairs of clearance soft stretchy jeans in blue and black $8.49 ea.  

I stopped at Safeway for salad and sale pizza and checked fried rice on sale and chicken I put back pizza.  I ate 1/3 salad and 1/3 rice.  so delicious.  

no split second

new tv season.  new me.  every day is a new opportunity.  and today auto update works.

I talked to Jin at 24 hour.  she goes MWF.  she complained of tiredness I suggested she may be dehydrated like Inge used to be.  she reminded me Inge's b'day Wednesday 1/29th hers 4/22 earth day Tuesday.  

I'm moving slowly.  it seems the best way to avoid boo boos.  I finished the Indian puzzle.  then I used wringer for socks and suit.  nice and dry heat today.  after lunch I returned hot spot to central then start 1 deposit.  picked up and dropped off at cup.  I wanted 2 B king bacon melts and I was home 2:25 for People Puzzler.  

just showing up

is half of life.  I'm watching Temptation and doing chair exercises.  the easiest way of changing my chemistry is exercise.  second is drinking water.  too simple for people.  the hard part is remembering.  habits are programming.

Sale of the Century and playing online Mahjongg.  makes me feel close to mom and her poker machine.  

b'fast I ate second half of rice and peas with sausages.  comfort food.  

11:30 soaking in hot tub at 24 hour.  taking my time stretching gently.  back way to burger king I decided 1 mushroom, 1 bacon melts.  I deserve what I want.  I arrived Sunny 12:55 I ate half bacon sitting in car so good fried onions thousand island dressing.  I checked out hot spot and it wouldn't hold the charge.  opening the back it looked like dried milk on the battery.  I took it to get new battery and they cleaned out the residue, works great.  

BUZZR 4 minutes fast channel 2.4

I forget and miss the beginning.  

I want to watch the 10 am movie The air I breathe based on an ancient Chinese proverb.  all about perception.  

I finally ate the free skinny Konjac noodles with boxed sauce.  pretty good and crunchy.  

I can pick up Sunny Spot noon, banking, Safeway if I want.  I don't know.  I'm enjoying being.  I can rush around doing errands, wait, do some.  I'm still feeling guilty enjoying myself.  my body reacts to listening to Releasing Guilt.  WOW it capitalized itself.  

I'm usually too depressed to do anything.  I'm still consolidating all the free drinks I've picked up at Lucky's.  so it's been 8 years since Eric died.  Hernandez v Hamlet C 02-3657 parole denied.  he spent two years on the original trial then the appeals.  

I'm staying up to watch sat night live.  I haven't stayed up for years.

doing not thinking

I'm going on instinct.  I'm trying something new.  I spent most of my life afraid and trying to think of the best, safest, logical course.  the responsible adult.  I wasn't happy I felt safe.  I'm making myself happy.  

an hour of Spit Second goes so quickly.  I want to pay Costco due today.  I picked up Lucky's free energy drink and bought 4 tuna salad/$5.  self check wouldn't take gift card so I went to clerk.    

paid Costco and on to seniors.  I love my puzzle.  lunch was OK.  beans in casserole and as side.  weird.  I didn't want extra.  Fred, Toki, Walter.  the Chinese saved us seats.  #4 table served.  Jennifer sets rules and was confused I found hilarious.  Walter was insultingly stupid just like his dad.  I told him so.  he left for counselor, good thing.  

I forgot Carlos engine check.  I called Carlos, collected wiper blade and antifreeze.  Carlos fixed everything.  I tipped him $20 he was going to let it go.  I got home 1:30 starving.  71 degrees and calm perfect weather.

CHIPS!!  and my game shows.  dinner I recooked potatoes added eggs on lettuce with Cesar dressing.  delicious.  

Split Second game show

I like testing my knowledge, recall, and learning new facts.  by accident I found speech enabled text is highlighted search +s.  

I don't know why I'm watching when I could be resting.  I enjoy blogging for the most part.  a pound of feathers weighs more than gold because of separate definitions of pound.  huh.  sleep and rest, relaxing are my #1 priority.

6:55 am 41 degrees people are standing in the cold.  they voted for trump.

lunch OK.  Marsala fish.  i got extra.  Walter was in rare form.  i think maybe he's beginning to hear me.  maybe not.  he needs a replacement hobby for his anxiety.  I told him he's the only one who can fix him.  not doctors or drugs.  

M W F soak at 24 hour

my new plan.  parking at 24 OK between 6-7.  senior parking at 8 am OK.  I can use the suit wringer at seniors.  when senior gym closed it took too long to dry suit.  I wring it out and finish drying at home.  usually I forget flips today I forgot towel and I survive.

I may get Sunny hot spot this week.  I'm 12/125.  same # holds as central.  

front door lock sticking.  I tightened the screws maybe too much.  my evil sisters interference.  I'll worry about it tomorrow.

turning stupid into stupendous.  Trump's insane lies.  

I'm breaking in my Reebok and Sketchers Thanksgiving shoes.  

52 degrees and breezy wind chill-CHECK ENGINE

harry waits in the car.  su and inge stand outside.  I don't understand the need to suffer.  maybe it makes them more open to receive.  

I don't know.  IDK.  because of Carlos I'm not freaking.  I was feeling sad and realized car stuff always reminds me of Eric.  Frank's killer was up for parole so court transcripts were online with witness' descriptions.  parole was denied.  

what a perfect day.  dinner of tuna salad, cheese and crackers.  lunch was OK.  the best part is Toki and Trudy and Kenny saved the table so I didn't have to.  

I decided I'd get gas.  first gas treatment to see if it helps clear engine.  dollar tree had one STP left.  $3.  I bought 2 biotin and 1 lens cleaner.  I forgot nail files.  instructions on gas treatment said I could add after fill up so I did.  never occurred to me.  

2 steps forward

I soaked for half an hour at 6 am good parking.  seniors at 8 am OK parking.  I remembered to call Anthem re dental insurance.  Mikaela checked my insurance.  I chose essentials and they have 3 more tiers.  

i puzzled 'til lunch then filled my water bottles.  I washed my socks, spun with swim suit.  ready for tomorrow.  home i hung all to dry.  

Toki and Fred, Debbie came to visit.  Jessica brought extras to back I got extra meatloaf mash.  

I'm resting

my knee is better not 100%.  Healing uses a lot of energy.  I finished the salad mix with chili and cheese.  I'm so glad I have dark chocolate truffles.  over 50 cents a piece and I'm so worth it.  

I watched season one Marlow Murder Club BBC.  pretty good but I figured it out before the end.  

I'm resting watching 2007 Heartbreak Kid.  I cut my finger opening a can of soup.  

I've decided sale pizza and soup are second to me nursing myself to health and comfort.  

I found one last bottle of biotin.  I think it helps my hair,skin and nails.  dollar tree stocks it now.  

tv temptation game show 7:30-9

I'm very careful with my knee.  if I move carefully I'm OK.  game shows 'til noon.  I feel 16 inside of my 74 year old body until I move.  I keep forgetting my body doesn't work like it did.  

I napped 9-noon and I allowed my knee needed rest.  kneed rest.  still tender.  I've been conditioned to push through my injuries.  my family kept me doing for them.  watching Christmas movies of families and traditions I don't miss my argumentative resentful sisters.  they make me glad to be alone.  I heated salad with amino and tofu ham.  delicious just what I wanted.

I fell 24 walkway-I got Lucky's free vegan butter

I found a quarter and 2 dimes no problem retrieving, then another quarter.  the incline was too much, my right leg gave out, my foot caught and I rolled.  2 men and a woman stopped to help me up.  I can't do what I used to do.  they helped me up and I walked around the fence embarrassed.  i pondered whether to soak and noticed I forgot my flips so decided on leisurely relaxing.   

it was raining when i came out so i came directly to seniors.  looking for library returns I found Toki gave me Inari sushi yesterday.  forecast: rain 'til 2 perfect ride home.  lunch OK general TSO  chicken actually teriyaki.  my knee hurting I didn't go for front room left overs.  Jessica brought 2 alternate meals to back field I gave my Boca burger to Fred who asked for it.  men die early 'cause they're lazy and don't move as much.  keeps Bartolo healthy.  even with my injured knee I got up to get it.  

Happy's Place makes me happy.  and Lopez vs Lopez.

fresh and clean soaked at 24 hr- paid Bartolo

I stretched for half an hour pondering Joanne's behavior.  she must do it out of spite.  

I'm wearing my $7 dress under my summer dress for modesty and warmth as a slip.  I can wear my summer dresses all year.  55 degrees at 11 am at senior center.  silly Alma thinks it's 45 degrees.

Dave is a funny bird.  he stopped by thinking seniors' gym was open.  

I spent hours looking for Bartolo's envelope in the car, checked all my bags,  took everything out of the chrome bag twice, car trunk, at home all around the chair.  I came home early to look.  Bartolo had filled both bins with wet green.  so heavy.  I decided to make a new envelope and get money from my chrome bag and there was the old envelope.  just in time.  saved me a trip.  Bartolo came by again so we could have the same conversation about skipping a month which he never does.  and we discussed repairing the front overhang again.  or maybe just take it down.  and cleaning gutters again.  

pizza for b'fast-still alive in 2025

my house in Heaven is bigger, brighter and perfect.  

there is no longer any channel 36.5.  Byron Allen must have sold it.  so no more Funny You Should Ask.  wahh...  I'm thinking whether I want to watch boring Jeopardy and Wheel.  

I'm getting my bills organized.  city bill is very early.