I mailed life ins

I picked up free onion dip, seniors I puzzled, showered, puzzled more.  lunch was with Trudy, Kenny, Fred, Toki, Walter.  so relaxing.  Hilde had to lie about still serving at noon when I got extra.  eh, I let it go and listened to Walter doing new things, absent 'til Wednesday.  wrote check, went to college Safeway $52 clearance half off 8 soups, 12 rice $12.88, salads, 'crab', 2 frozen Chinese, chips.  I'm set for a rainy week.  

home 2:25 for my game shows.  took me 10 minutes to pull on Joanie's fur boots.  may take years to break in.  I hope I didn't hurt my back.  the ankle part is too tight.  all my other boots are loose from use.  

year of change

dreaded anniversary Tesla valentine's fiasco coming up.  

Dave gets the weirdest ideas.  he tried to convince me Planned Parenthood is German eugenics.  when I asked him point blank if M Sanger a Nazi it startled him.  then he blamed illegal immigration on Biden like it didn't exist before and that Kamala Harris started the Ukraine war.  his mom died before Thanksgiving he still hates women.  

he's helping me let everything go.  I asked where he got his facts he couldn't or wouldn't tell me.

after lunch with Fred, Toki, Walter I went to drop off and pick up at Sunny.  I walked Sprouts found nothing.  reminded me to look for cheese at local.  

tom called.  I don't care.  oh, anniversary call.  tom Tesla.

happy snake Jin b'day 4/22

 and Inge's b'day.  Jin brought her a large fruit tart.  Florence brought chinese new year mochi cake.

woke 7

I loved the music.  I was so jazzed I stayed up and watched Blockbusters.  so I got to bed the latest in a long time.  I took my time, ate leftover rice fish and gently cruised into seniors.  I soaked for an hour in the tub and washed 2 pair socks.  

lunch was good so no left overs.  out the back door.  Fred, Toki, Walter.  he's calmer and more focused.  home I made hickory tuna green salad.  OK.  I don't need to buy another.  not as good as it sounds.  

Life is mellow.  I am grateful.

35 degrees

I don't understand the need for suffering.  8 minute drive 3 minutes car warm up looking for finger gloves.  and they're standing by the door 13 minutes to open.  

I ate st just ham cheese sandwich for b'fast.  I put out garbage bin and off to seniors.  Bartolo brought in bin.  

lunch OK.  fish, rice with ginger slaw best part.  Fred, Toki, Walter.  I got extra meal.  lots left over.  I added cashew and peanuts more protein.  

50 years of SNL music.  I missed out on so much being sick taking care of the parents.

another 12 hour sleep

8:30 pm nothing on tv I went to bed.  and I slept great quietly peacefully.  heavenly.  then I woke to back pain.  watching game shows eating salad rice nuts corn chips.  still dealing with 'shaken baby' damage.  at least now I know the source of right side weakness.  

10 am The Millers so funny bully mom, incompetent dad funny when it's not me suffering.  I don't watch another show I just mute and wait.  I usually skip back and forth amusing myself.  I finally found season 1 at county.

I napped 11:30-4.  Love Boat 5 pm.  6 pm so dark.  7 pm Rocky and Bullwinkle.  

I'm doing more chair and mini exercises.  eating salad at every meal.  adding nuts, corn chips, canned fruit.  

fastest ever

9 minutes drive to seniors.  pool opens 8:30 I'm here for my foot massage.  people standing outside 48 degree overcast.  I soaked an hour.  FLASHBACK to toddler being shaken.  my back neck problems started then.  mom almost put me in a coma.  made my arthritis worse.

wonderful I picked up 2 movies at central and puzzled 'til 11:30 picked up lunch at St Just from Charity and Sandy.  I shared my fall story and decided I'm feeling like I want to pick up Cup so smoothly I pondered going back to central.  2 Kimo asses trying to tell me how to puzzle I'm resting.  playing mahjongg.  I could read newspaper or go to Sunny.  holds good 'til 30 and returns 2/2 Groundhog Day.  I forgot New Years today but no food so I'm good.  I'm wonderfully relaxed.  they get stuck making a puzzle mess.  I can wait.

for b'fast I heated lime cilantro rice with sweet sour so good.  and I have salads.  I found an online picture record of Tina.  so far so good.

I just slept 12 hours

dentist wore me out.  cleaning, polishing, fluoride.  I watched the last 5 minutes of People Puzzler and ate Boston Market fried rice with salad, egg, cashews and peanuts.  by 5 I was exhausted and lay down instead of forcing myself to stay up.  I fell asleep, woke at 7 racist Ken Jennings and Ryan Seacrest not worth getting up I next woke 11 brushed my teeth, back to sleep, 'til 5:30.  

safely puzzling at seniors-Dentist at 2 pm

The rooster puzzle is more complex than I thought.  keeping me from stressing.  now I stress about forgetting.

salad b'fast-I paid Citibank 2 1/2 wk early

6:48 at seniors.  9 minute ride going slowly.  it's faster going slower.  people standing at the door for 12 minutes in 34 degrees weather.  not including wind chill.  soaked in tub hour and half.

lovely company at lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  he seems to be doing better.  he's taking care of business.  Hilde took out bowls of beans I asked if there was fish and she gave me complete dinner.  

i walked prune Lucky's only found small $1 shampoo.  I had loaded expiring $1 so it was free.  no light salt BBQ.  

home I remembered to look for swimsuits and found my disc man from when I cleaned out car in 2018.  have yet to find suits.  I found water bottles and plain coconut water.  

back at seniors pool opens 8

I was actually happy driving here.  I haven't enjoyed driving since Eric died 2017.  

and almost a year since Tesla crash.  Valentine's.  

lunch OK Fred, Toki and Walter.  

FANNY 1961 movie.  

Bob Hearts Abishola

 none of the libraries has the series.  I find it strange.  

I'm watching Hanky Panky 1982 Gilda Radner Gene Wilder movie.  she was so skinny.  she was so in love.  she wanted a baby more than life.  a frantic unfunny movie.  a lot of stress, anxiety and yelling.  and Richard Widmark threatening.  Jonathon Winter grossly unfunny.   

I'm content.  I'm watching All of Me 1984.  my idea of funny. 

I'm feeling nicotine anxious.  somehow two blank tabs showed up.  

I started watching Henry Cho online You Tube and forgot my game shows.  

I want to cry for TINA 2019

I get something different every time I watch it.  tears wash away the pain.  TINA had the whole world trying to keep her in the past.  they kept asking her about the abuse and she kept looking forward.  her life was a miracle.  

I'm watching old movies on channel 2.3.  Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer 1947 and the Crystal Ball 1942.  

and I'm still experimenting, mixing salad dressings.  iceberg lettuce is so sweet it doesn't really need anything.  

I'm reading 2018 June and July blog.  so much happened.  

I filled out 6 pages dental e mail made me sad or anxious, uncomfortable I can exercise to instantly change my chemistry.  appointment is Thursday 2 pm.  

I haven't talked to anyone in 2 days.  when I was bedridden it was weeks but I was too sick to notice.  I'm noticing.  

dvds are my friends

books were my friends until I couldn't hold them to read them.  my back was so messed up I had no life.  Vicodin was all I had then.  I discovered grapefruit juice as an antacid.  I learned so much about backs, what works and what doesn't.  

lovely laid back day.  I wanted to run away but I didn't.  I stayed with my feelings and processed.  this has been a milestone week.  

my legs and feet swollen

could be injury, diet or both.  or my body is post traumatic stressing the fact mom committed passive suicide at 80 like Maude.  definitely a spirit movie.  the way the movie came together was a miracle.  I'm loving the Santa Cruz boardwalk and old Dumbarton Bridge segments.  Nostalgia.

life is strange.  

I soaked at 24 hour and picked up free orange soda and clearance "crab".  my salads hurray!!  

I finished the upstairs puzzle and tried to print directions to Ocean Delight but toner still low.  

lunch not good.  fish tasted off.  rice was dry.  Walter is better he cried over his dad.  I quoted Shrek "better out than in".  We went upstairs where Gil took over.  Gil creeped me out.  

college Safeway 2 salads, 2 chips, $5 egg Mac salad, clearance $2 ice cream cup.  I used gift card.  I ate 2 servings of Mac salad.  3rd with 'crab'.  

drive in movies

 Harold and Maude was the A movie and THX 1138 was the B movie.  3 gals sitting in the front seat.  we all worked at Macy's I was the only one going to school SJSU.  Chris the authorizier and Stephanie newbie.  

Mr Rhodes my high school counselor applied for me and I was accepted at all of them.  I could only afford San Jose State.  I knew my parents would hold my life hostage and it wasn't worth the energy.  I'd been working since 16 while my sisters were subsidized.  being on my own alone was my life since 8 years old.  I thought I was Cinderella.  

my parents didn't approve of school and doing well made them hate me more.  my folks dropped out early to work on the family truck farm in Hawaii.  jealous much?  

MASH 4077 film 1970

"suicide is painless, it brings on many changes"  I never realized with Harold and Maude 1971 suicide themes.  the special features are fantastic.  way before I found out about my grandpa hanging himself and mom took dad's sleeping pills.  

24 hour at 6:30.  I'm doing intermittent training.  I feel so much better.  

I figured out Jane.  she has to make someone wrong.  today at lunch she comes in prowling around the 12 tables looking for someone to argue.  

unsure

10 minute drive.  35-37 degree I remembered 2 full minutes to warm up.  I ate veg chili from seniors full of bell peppers.  

I've been wiggling more.  following my own advice.  water and exercise.  I feel better.  

an hour to do 300 large piece puzzle.  philately.   

listening to releasing guilt I can feel i'm still reacting.  

lunch not good.  the best part it was tiny.  I decided to go pay PGE at Walmart.  I walked Lucky's priced Innovasian pork fried rice $9.99.  at Walmart no customer service line.  I found 2 pairs of clearance soft stretchy jeans in blue and black $8.49 ea.  

I stopped at Safeway for salad and sale pizza and checked fried rice on sale and chicken I put back pizza.  I ate 1/3 salad and 1/3 rice.  so delicious.  

no split second

new tv season.  new me.  every day is a new opportunity.  and today auto update works.

I talked to Jin at 24 hour.  she goes MWF.  she complained of tiredness I suggested she may be dehydrated like Inge used to be.  she reminded me Inge's b'day Wednesday 1/29th hers 4/22 earth day Tuesday.  

I'm moving slowly.  it seems the best way to avoid boo boos.  I finished the Indian puzzle.  then I used wringer for socks and suit.  nice and dry heat today.  after lunch I returned hot spot to central then start 1 deposit.  picked up and dropped off at cup.  I wanted 2 B king bacon melts and I was home 2:25 for People Puzzler.  

just showing up

is half of life.  I'm watching Temptation and doing chair exercises.  the easiest way of changing my chemistry is exercise.  second is drinking water.  too simple for people.  the hard part is remembering.  habits are programming.

Sale of the Century and playing online Mahjongg.  makes me feel close to mom and her poker machine.  

b'fast I ate second half of rice and peas with sausages.  comfort food.  

11:30 soaking in hot tub at 24 hour.  taking my time stretching gently.  back way to burger king I decided 1 mushroom, 1 bacon melts.  I deserve what I want.  I arrived Sunny 12:55 I ate half bacon sitting in car so good fried onions thousand island dressing.  I checked out hot spot and it wouldn't hold the charge.  opening the back it looked like dried milk on the battery.  I took it to get new battery and they cleaned out the residue, works great.  

BUZZR 4 minutes fast channel 2.4

I forget and miss the beginning.  

I want to watch the 10 am movie The air I breathe based on an ancient Chinese proverb.  all about perception.  

I finally ate the free skinny Konjac noodles with boxed sauce.  pretty good and crunchy.  

I can pick up Sunny Spot noon, banking, Safeway if I want.  I don't know.  I'm enjoying being.  I can rush around doing errands, wait, do some.  I'm still feeling guilty enjoying myself.  my body reacts to listening to Releasing Guilt.  WOW it capitalized itself.  

I'm usually too depressed to do anything.  I'm still consolidating all the free drinks I've picked up at Lucky's.  so it's been 8 years since Eric died.  Hernandez v Hamlet C 02-3657 parole denied.  he spent two years on the original trial then the appeals.  

I'm staying up to watch sat night live.  I haven't stayed up for years.

doing not thinking

I'm going on instinct.  I'm trying something new.  I spent most of my life afraid and trying to think of the best, safest, logical course.  the responsible adult.  I wasn't happy I felt safe.  I'm making myself happy.  

an hour of Spit Second goes so quickly.  I want to pay Costco due today.  I picked up Lucky's free energy drink and bought 4 tuna salad/$5.  self check wouldn't take gift card so I went to clerk.    

paid Costco and on to seniors.  I love my puzzle.  lunch was OK.  beans in casserole and as side.  weird.  I didn't want extra.  Fred, Toki, Walter.  the Chinese saved us seats.  #4 table served.  Jennifer sets rules and was confused I found hilarious.  Walter was insultingly stupid just like his dad.  I told him so.  he left for counselor, good thing.  

I forgot Carlos engine check.  I called Carlos, collected wiper blade and antifreeze.  Carlos fixed everything.  I tipped him $20 he was going to let it go.  I got home 1:30 starving.  71 degrees and calm perfect weather.

CHIPS!!  and my game shows.  dinner I recooked potatoes added eggs on lettuce with Cesar dressing.  delicious.  

Split Second game show

I like testing my knowledge, recall, and learning new facts.  by accident I found speech enabled text is highlighted search +s.  

I don't know why I'm watching when I could be resting.  I enjoy blogging for the most part.  a pound of feathers weighs more than gold because of separate definitions of pound.  huh.  sleep and rest, relaxing are my #1 priority.

6:55 am 41 degrees people are standing in the cold.  they voted for trump.

lunch OK.  Marsala fish.  i got extra.  Walter was in rare form.  i think maybe he's beginning to hear me.  maybe not.  he needs a replacement hobby for his anxiety.  I told him he's the only one who can fix him.  not doctors or drugs.  

M W F soak at 24 hour

my new plan.  parking at 24 OK between 6-7.  senior parking at 8 am OK.  I can use the suit wringer at seniors.  when senior gym closed it took too long to dry suit.  I wring it out and finish drying at home.  usually I forget flips today I forgot towel and I survive.

I may get Sunny hot spot this week.  I'm 12/125.  same # holds as central.  

front door lock sticking.  I tightened the screws maybe too much.  my evil sisters interference.  I'll worry about it tomorrow.

turning stupid into stupendous.  Trump's insane lies.  

I'm breaking in my Reebok and Sketchers Thanksgiving shoes.  

52 degrees and breezy wind chill-CHECK ENGINE

harry waits in the car.  su and inge stand outside.  I don't understand the need to suffer.  maybe it makes them more open to receive.  

I don't know.  IDK.  because of Carlos I'm not freaking.  I was feeling sad and realized car stuff always reminds me of Eric.  Frank's killer was up for parole so court transcripts were online with witness' descriptions.  parole was denied.  

what a perfect day.  dinner of tuna salad, cheese and crackers.  lunch was OK.  the best part is Toki and Trudy and Kenny saved the table so I didn't have to.  

I decided I'd get gas.  first gas treatment to see if it helps clear engine.  dollar tree had one STP left.  $3.  I bought 2 biotin and 1 lens cleaner.  I forgot nail files.  instructions on gas treatment said I could add after fill up so I did.  never occurred to me.  

2 steps forward

I soaked for half an hour at 6 am good parking.  seniors at 8 am OK parking.  I remembered to call Anthem re dental insurance.  Mikaela checked my insurance.  I chose essentials and they have 3 more tiers.  

i puzzled 'til lunch then filled my water bottles.  I washed my socks, spun with swim suit.  ready for tomorrow.  home i hung all to dry.  

Toki and Fred, Debbie came to visit.  Jessica brought extras to back I got extra meatloaf mash.  

I'm resting

my knee is better not 100%.  Healing uses a lot of energy.  I finished the salad mix with chili and cheese.  I'm so glad I have dark chocolate truffles.  over 50 cents a piece and I'm so worth it.  

I watched season one Marlow Murder Club BBC.  pretty good but I figured it out before the end.  

I'm resting watching 2007 Heartbreak Kid.  I cut my finger opening a can of soup.  

I've decided sale pizza and soup are second to me nursing myself to health and comfort.  

I found one last bottle of biotin.  I think it helps my hair,skin and nails.  dollar tree stocks it now.  

tv temptation game show 7:30-9

I'm very careful with my knee.  if I move carefully I'm OK.  game shows 'til noon.  I feel 16 inside of my 74 year old body until I move.  I keep forgetting my body doesn't work like it did.  

I napped 9-noon and I allowed my knee needed rest.  kneed rest.  still tender.  I've been conditioned to push through my injuries.  my family kept me doing for them.  watching Christmas movies of families and traditions I don't miss my argumentative resentful sisters.  they make me glad to be alone.  I heated salad with amino and tofu ham.  delicious just what I wanted.

I fell 24 walkway-I got Lucky's free vegan butter

I found a quarter and 2 dimes no problem retrieving, then another quarter.  the incline was too much, my right leg gave out, my foot caught and I rolled.  2 men and a woman stopped to help me up.  I can't do what I used to do.  they helped me up and I walked around the fence embarrassed.  i pondered whether to soak and noticed I forgot my flips so decided on leisurely relaxing.   

it was raining when i came out so i came directly to seniors.  looking for library returns I found Toki gave me Inari sushi yesterday.  forecast: rain 'til 2 perfect ride home.  lunch OK general TSO  chicken actually teriyaki.  my knee hurting I didn't go for front room left overs.  Jessica brought 2 alternate meals to back field I gave my Boca burger to Fred who asked for it.  men die early 'cause they're lazy and don't move as much.  keeps Bartolo healthy.  even with my injured knee I got up to get it.  

Happy's Place makes me happy.  and Lopez vs Lopez.

fresh and clean soaked at 24 hr- paid Bartolo

I stretched for half an hour pondering Joanne's behavior.  she must do it out of spite.  

I'm wearing my $7 dress under my summer dress for modesty and warmth as a slip.  I can wear my summer dresses all year.  55 degrees at 11 am at senior center.  silly Alma thinks it's 45 degrees.

Dave is a funny bird.  he stopped by thinking seniors' gym was open.  

I spent hours looking for Bartolo's envelope in the car, checked all my bags,  took everything out of the chrome bag twice, car trunk, at home all around the chair.  I came home early to look.  Bartolo had filled both bins with wet green.  so heavy.  I decided to make a new envelope and get money from my chrome bag and there was the old envelope.  just in time.  saved me a trip.  Bartolo came by again so we could have the same conversation about skipping a month which he never does.  and we discussed repairing the front overhang again.  or maybe just take it down.  and cleaning gutters again.  

pizza for b'fast-still alive in 2025

my house in Heaven is bigger, brighter and perfect.  

there is no longer any channel 36.5.  Byron Allen must have sold it.  so no more Funny You Should Ask.  wahh...  I'm thinking whether I want to watch boring Jeopardy and Wheel.  

I'm getting my bills organized.  city bill is very early.