feeling a warm dark sinister mass floating in my solar. it's toddler dread.
and my anxiety of buying water soft when how, renew license what when, clean gutters if I can, etc. laundry, a plethora of chores. it never ends.
I'm having a hard time trusting God. I was never allowed. the family thought themselves gods. EPIPHANY: explains so much. dad molested Aileen who molested me. she pimped me out for a date. she was messed up. the first time I've admitted to myself. gives me shivers. and did mom know?
BREAK TIME. WHERE WAS GOD? no wonder I have issues.
I'm ready for something good.
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