I wasn't loving myself and the CBD let the past intrude. I punished myself like the family taught me.
every move is excruciating again. on the cross. crucified. I soaked out my aches and pains after an hour. still agony getting in and out of the car and my tailbone again on fire.
how ironic. fire truck showed up 10 am. I just finished loading my gym case and the annoying alarm went off. 4 firemen got out to check the building. maybe 3 minute arrival time.
I walked Sprouts clearance kids sack turkey sandwich for dinner. St Just Charity makes me feel welcome. so many act like we're criminals. someone left breaded chick nuggets for my holiday dinner.
sitting in the library cafe charging the chrome I watch the hero dads taking care of their kids. my dad wanted to remain the baby.
2 am - I woke hungry and ate my kids half turkey sandwich and BBQ chips. so good to have what you want when you want it. so unlike my sisters still denying me.
6 am - I woke with a lump of sad fear in my belly. baby energy I cradled, hugged and soothed.
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