I'm playing

I picked up free peanut dark chew, entered my contests, played on the puzzle.  lunch was good getting back to Fred and Toki.  Walter came 11:45 and I explained to him the difference between flirting and being annoying by personal experience with Lance G in high school.  Lance thought patting me condescendingly on the head was endearing I told him it was demeaning and irritating.  I thought he was juvenile and stupid.  we were 16 not 8.  Walter mistakenly thinks annoying Nahyoung is flirting.  Wrong.  I don't know if he's listening.  

brilliant!!

Bingo exercise was so funny.  Sumo farts.  switch from right butt cheek to left and repeat looks like letting one off.  mom loved farting on people.  she'd cozy up on the couch and plant one on you.  

we'll have 4 nurses trading off 2 at a time and Hong suggested Thurs. 10-11.  Brilliant!!  Mallory set up 10:30-11:30 even better.  I picked up my lunch halfway through class.  cake holder worked great.  Toki was forlorn Fred went to PT and Walter and Salome came late.  next week even better.

Cody bookmobile gave me toys for helping him clear bins.  and I recycled the paper and continued Inge's $4 for her plastic bottles.  

Danny's changed hours 7-4 6 days.  

firmly ensconced

 I started a new puzzle.  I think it's Rampart St New Orleans.

things to do :  pick up Inge's and redeem recycle, gas fill up, taxes Tuesday, pick up and return movies central.  

new behavior I filled up gas, I drove home, watched Puzzler and drove to library.  3:30 I got in line as #7 and took 2 hours with only 4 preparers.  

relaxed late start

I'm getting adjusted to a happy childhood.  if I'd stayed in Hawaii I'd be different from living with love.  

I went to America's Tires to check tires air.  Andrew set 35 lbs.  when I bought tires rainy Monday 12/16 they set it at 30.  I was on my way to Cup to return overdue.  Rosa asked for 2 block ride would take me 20 minutes to clear front seat so I declined.  went smoothly.  

2/22-1942

I'm loving being looked after and cared for.  I picked up my lunch at St Just after soaking and stretching at seniors.  

Marie hung around until I left.  then she made a comment I think about Japanese WW2 racist internment as she was walking out downstairs to lots of seniors sitting in the fireplace room.  she's really flipping out.  

I watched White Bird, a Helen Mirren movie.  no info on the case and a vague trailer I was unprepared for the pain of Jewish teen Sarah in 1942 Paris.  she was a clueless teen who's mother refused to accept the reality of Nazism.  she was forced into hiding as was I.  it tapped into my suppressed teen pain.  I was humiliated, punished and persecuted for having and expressing compassion.  

and George born 1940 spent time in Idaho internment camp.  his mom named him George for Washington.  he died 12/21/08 from throat cancer.

I sobbed for our suffering.  

I'm having more fun-CHILD

I picked up free soda and tried $7.99 new extra virgin olive oil at Lucky's.  then at Sprouts another new brand of $7.99 unfiltered extra virgin olive oil and a load of turkey, ham, chick fingers, kid's meal, 2-99 cent tea.  I'm set for the weekend.  

Hilde gave me 4 pcs of yesterday's chicken.  What???

Walter's complaining threw me off.  He doesn't listen.  I know he's in pain from my own personal experience with pain.  He drones on and on.  He's telling his auto pilot to create more pain.  I don't know how many times I've said it.  He just doesn't listen.  He reminds me of dad and painful memories.  and Nick Ze's dad took 10 years complaining of cancer to create and die from it.  Walter continually talks of being hospitalized.  I visited Eric I won't visit Walter.  

SENIORS

I've been stressing Cody won't renew my Chromebook.  

and I'm feeling sad.  I'm just feeling.  

OMG 10:51 I just remembered my online contests.

Senior Universe new member (Noel) Shane

I think major Aspergers.  

"the courageous inhabitants of a doomed community.  the movie of the Infinity."  hey, everyone dies.  I'm feeling particularly facetious.  

TCB-BEST HOLIDAY EVER!

I put out garbage bin and Bartolo took care of green.  

yesterday I started a new phase in my life.  game show central 2/17/25 on channel 65.7 I feel rewarded.  made me want to jump for joy.  I started watching sometime in the morning and quit at 10 pm.  

42 degrees

next door cut more of tree.  all 4 bins filled.  

hanging at the library after soaking at seniors and using bingo coupon for roast beef bag lunch.  I talked to Jin lost her car in accident.  

then I picked up St Just lunch and weekend bag.  Presidents holiday Monday everything closed.  I'll go to 24 hour.  

I considered taxes I have everything in the trunk but I'm not ready today.  

1972 dream to now

I'd been married a few months when I woke from a dream crying  because I was in heaven w/o my ex.  that's when the ex altar boy told me he didn't believe in heaven.  he'd been conditioned like sister Ail to believe they were the devil.  

and I'm creating my heaven and he's been dead since 2004.  

I got home 1:30 tree is cleaned up.

happy 45th Aaron-big wind storm tree limb broken

he popped into my head today.  I googled him and he's a married cinematographer in LA.  they were taking cinema classes after high school in Sunnyvale.  I took them a few times since Lauren wouldn't drive and Aaron drove like his parents with lots of moving violations and very high car insurance.  the memory makes me sad.  

and Paul...Lloyd's friend took my lunch bag I never even noticed until I went looking for him to return his water bottle left on the table.  Mallory overheard and was upset.  makes me sad.  

then 1:45 I get home a big chunk of the avocado tree is broken with part in left neighbor's drive I left a message with Bartolo to come by to check it out.  makes me sad.  

7:02 arrival seniors-hula helped my autism

I did a good clear out.  bag I had at the front door had ants I didn't know I had.  they managed to eat through an applesauce seal.  perfection.  

yesterday no internet

so relaxing no cares in the world.  I finished 300 PC puzzle.  so relaxing.  the sense of accomplishment without effort.

I started reading a 2 year old AARP magazine on music therapy, memory, brains.  scientists don't get the brain is the entire body.  brain cells, nerve cells, neurons are throughout the body.  the gut brain, the cranium, muscle memory.  scientists don't live in their bodies.  they don't converse with their bodies.  they don't listen to their bodies.  disease=dis ease.  happy bodies self regulate.  balanced bodies heal.  

lunch was OK Fred and Toki.  food not good.  Walter tried scoring off me I wasn't having it.  he left.  I puzzled digesting lunch then went to college Safeway for chips found clearance 2 balsamic, 1 lemon curd, carnitas and chick egg rolls.  I'm worth it.  I have 2 cooked drums.  

6:57 seniors

catch-up not ketchup or catsup.  I looked up the difference.  wow, I thought I was boring.  

lunch with Trudy, Kenny nice to have company waiting for Fred and Toki.  the food was terrible.  dry tired whole wheat penne pasta, bits of pink chicken, green beans, diced carrots.  Trudy brought Stan's donuts for Toki's b'day which Fred and Kenny promptly ate.  makes Kenny cough he denies.  I saved mine for home.

2:30 game shows I considered going back to seniors for pool and puzzle.  nah.  i'm actually enjoying being home.  

looking forward-Toki Surprise-Super Bowl Sunday

I have new hope.  Trudy told me today is her actual b'day.  Kenny, Mirek+Anna, Cathy, Linda, Hiroko could be the one Aiko dissed.  70 people? maybe.  I got to restaurant before 11 and left 1:30.  teen kid forced to sell school chocolate I bought 5.  I was going to donate but he looked unlikely to accept so I chose almond.    

going was easy I printed 3 ways to get there.  I drove my old stomping grounds back.  haven't since COVID 2019.  helluva decade.  I haven't driven that long or far since before COVID.  I drove 85 the way I took mom to the south sj doctor for chelation.  

2:30 Sunny library.  I drove through and considered Saratoga, Cupertino, nah.  and this way I can check Sprouts.  nothing.

home 5 pm bed 8:30.  jeopardy celebrity reruns.

woke at 6 at seniors 7:55- friday's 1/3 fall

so much left overs from yesterday's lunch 3 meals b'fast this am.    

best part of this stylized rooster barnyard puzzle is it doesn't matter which parts go where.  I feel loose and free.  

soaked in tub and massaged my right shin and knee so sore from last month's fall.  takes much longer to heal.  

I picked up both pantry groceries and lunch from St Just Sandy a lot of fruit and veg.  I spent an hour reorganizing the car trunk parked under the library.  I puzzled and considered going to Sunny decided to rest up for Toki's b'day bash.  I think it may be Super Bowl Sunday.  I don't know.

I'm conflicted deciding how to acknowledge Toki.  

I have nob hill internet

I spent the morning and lunch relaxing, a very comfortable rhythm.  my depression is a little better.  

I picked up my Lucky's free 4 pack of Jones mini root beer and buy 2 get 2 low salt Fritos.  I used my gift card $7.89.  I paid $2.88.  

I was surprised it was sprinkling today.  it's been raining steadily.  

I miss online mahjong.  

no hot spot DIVINE ORDER

AND SO IT IS.  returned hot Spot and movies.  now keeping track 4 days late.  I'm still feeling happy.  got extra fish.  

I'm slowly releasing my hot spot

it will probably be a month 'til I get central's, 103 waiting.  I feel perfectly neutral, hurray!  

I went to Cup dropped off, picked up.  home by 2 no internet.  and it makes me want to blog.  and take a nap.  

I'm watching SNL so silly and funny.  

boss

eighth grade parlance meant super cool.  second reference.  yesterday I was reminded of a grade school joke or what passes for a joke in the eighth grade.  "man and woman get married the bride asks her mom to pack her freshly ironed blue night gown but her mom packs her un ironed pink nightie.  on their honeymoon the groom dresses in the bathroom letting the bride dress in the bedroom for modesty.  when she finds the pink nightie she says" oh, it's pink and wrinkled" he replies "oh, you promised not to look".  badabump!

yay!! hurray!! I paid Bartolo and Adela

I'm having fun following my feelings.  the senior parking lot was full of new year exercisers.  maybe the mild overcast got people out.  

had a lovely soak, massage, exercise in the spa.  lunch I ordered the roast beef sandwich.  the veg pasta looked overcooked.  Fred and Toki.  Walter has appointments today and tomorrow.  I considered Cup and banking and decided there's always tomorrow.  took my time home at 2 relaxed and refreshed.  

gardeners came by at 3.  I paid Adela.  

lovely quiet day.  

in my dreams

I'm defeating my enemies.  they're always men.  probably dad.  he resented me.  I think it's what crippled him.  

I need to tone down my goofiness.

I'm freaking out.  today's last day to RSVP for next week birthday party.  and I want to go to central library to finish the puzzle.  I left an RSVP message with an offer to contribute.

11:30 I filled car with gas.  just before me a bunch of cars showed up still only took 11 minutes.  I showered at 24 hour noon is the best parking time everyone leaves for lunch.  I have a painless big bruise on my left big toe.  wasn't there yesterday and I didn't wear Joanie's boots.  

I parked under the main library in case it rains.  I finished dog puzzle.  

I forgot to eat lunch so home 4:30 soup salad and bagel.  I feel good and I'm visualizing myself healthy, strong and incredible.  I'm being my own best friend.  

7:41 seniors

I woke from a dream of community and happiness in the company of my heavenly family frosting sheet sponge fruit cakes with whip cream.  then I woke up depressed.  I'm still alive and I bought all that food.  

ALL THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD ARE FROM BAD PARENTS WHO SHOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS TO IGNORE, NEGLECT, ABUSE.  my terrible parents.  my resistance to locks from being a latch key kid and Ail's stealing my key blaming me for losing them when it was her.  I couldn't blame her when mom might kill her.  watching George Lopez is freeing me.  

I'm following Spirit not thinking, planning just being, doing, feeling.  after senior soak for an hour in quiet contemplation I withdrew Chase and picked up St Just lunch.  indoor picnic at the library.  

St Just had groceries abandoned I picked up a cucumber and noodles tastes like baking powder.  

home at 4:30.