DREAD

TOMORROW IS MOM'S BIRTHDAY.  WHAT SHALL I DO TO HONOR HER?  DAD'S IS ST PATRICK'S DAY.

YESTERDAY I WENT TO ST JUSTIN'S DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING.

MY DREAD IS LEFT OVER FROM MY 8 YOUR YEAR OLD CHILD.  EVERY DAY WAS ONE OF DREAD.  I HAD NO JOY.  READING AND SLEEP WERE ESCAPES.  AND MY TV RECEPTION WENT OUT.  ART'S COMPUTER RECEPTION IS OUT TOO.

ALMITA CAME AT ME.  SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD SIT NEXT TO ME AT LUNCH THEN PROCEEDS TO INSULT ME NOT TO DO MY PUZZLES.  YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER.   YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT ME.  NO, SHE DIDN'T.  MY DAD READ AT THE TABLE EVERY DAY.  HOW LOW CLASS.  IF YOU SAY SO.  HOW VERY LOW CLASS TO INSULT MY DEAD PARENTS.

AND GERRY TELLS ME I'D BETTER GO QUICK IF I WANT SOURDOUGH BREAD HE LEFT ON PATIO.  FLIP PIG HAD IT.  I GO BACK INSIDE.  GERRY COMES BACK LAUGHING.  I WAS PISSED.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.  THANKS FOR NOTHING.

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?  MY PARENTS?  GOOD LUCK WITH THEIR LIFE ENDING.

FLASHBACKS

MY BODY IS RELEASING TRAUMAS.  I CAN HEAR MOM THREATENING TO KILL US.  I'M REMEMBERING HER CHASING AILEEN BEATING HER WITH A BROOM WHILE MITZI AND I HIDE UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE.  MITZI WAS 3.  AILEEN HAD A BOYFRIEND.  MOM CLAIMED AILEEN WAS BOY CRAZY BUT IT WAS PROJECTION. MOM ALWAYS CHOSE MEN AND RESENTED I HADN'T BEEN HER SON.  HOW MANY TIMES DID I HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER DISAPPOINTMENT.

WE'RE LIVING ON LAWRENCE STATION ROAD.  WHERE WAS DAD?

7:27 AM-AT THE SENIORS I'M MAKING IT A POINT TO LISTEN TO LOUISE.  IT'S HARD STAYING POSITIVE WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE AROUND.  I'M PUZZLING.  I BROUGHT AUNTY'S CARD BUT FORGOT THE PENCIL SHARPENER.  I'LL DO IT LATER. 

I TOOK MY TIME MAKING EATING OATMEAL.  I NEED MORE FUN I HAVE NOTHING/NO ONE TO LIVE FOR.  MAYBE THAT'S THE POINT. TO LIVE FOR MYSELF.  HEALING MYSELF.  AS PART OF THE PLANET I'M HEALING THE PLANET.

MAY 1-13

MOM'S B'DAY-DEATH DAY.  WHEN WILL IT STOP HURTING?  MAYBE IT WON'T.  MAYBE THAT'S WHY MY FOOT IS THROBBING.

4:22 pm.  I WENT AND SAT NEXT TO GERDA.  LUNCH WAS FILIPINO-AMERICAN CLUB.  STICKY RICE/CHICKEN AND GRAVY, CESAR SALAD, BUTTER AND ROLL.  VERY GOOD.  WE DIDN'T WIN BUT I HAD FUN.  I FOUND A WORKING COMPASS IN THE PARKING LOT.

I WORE MY PINK OF 4 WITH ARCH SUPPORTS.  MY FOOT HURTS BECAUSE I'VE SPRAINED IT 3 TIMES.

SUCH A CRUEL WORLD

20/20 LAST NIGHT ABOUT 2016 SHOOTINGS IN KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN.  HE OWNED 15 GUNS.  HOW IS THAT NOT A RED FLAG?

I'M BACK IN THAT 8 YEAR OLD BODY LOOKING AROUND NOTICING HOW CRAZY IT ALL IS.  THERE'S SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR AND YET THE ADULTS WANT CRAZY THINGS LIKE CRAZY KIDS.  I NOTICED MY PARENTS COMPLAINED AND DIDN'T WANT SOLUTIONS.  I WAS LABELED CRAZY AND LAZY FOR WANTING MY LIFE TO BE BETTER.  NORMAL PARENTS WANT THAT FOR THEIR KIDS.  MY PARENTS WANTED US TO SUFFER LIKE THEY SUFFERED. 

MY BODY FEELS SO UNCOMFORTABLE, UNSETTLED, ALIEN.  I NEVER FIT IN THIS WORLD. 

AND ANOTHER SHOOTING THIS AFTERNOON.  POWAY, CA.

GOODLY GIRL

VALLEY VILLAGE HAS A FLEA MARKET TOMORROW.  YESTERDAY AS I WAS DRIVING TO AND FROM CAMPBELL LIBRARY THE SIGN WAS OUT.

KELLY STOPPED TO SIT WITH ME AT THE PUZZLE TABLE.  SHE'S CONCERNED FOR A FRIEND HAVING A HEART OPERATION.  SHE ASKED ABOUT ERIC AND IN TELLING HER I CRIED TEARS OF SADNESS AND FRUSTRATION.  I KNEW HOW HE WOULD SUFFER AND WATCHING IS PAINFUL TOO.  THE SECOND YEAR IS RELENTLESS.

I'VE LOST ERIC AND GEORGE.  SHE ASKED ME ABOUT MY FRIENDS.  SO MANY HAVE GONE.

I LOOKED FOR MY NEW COPY OF DAILY WORD AND COULDN'T REMEMBER WHERE I PUT IT.  I'VE ARRANGED THE CAR TO DISPLAY IT.  I KNEW I HAD IT WITH MY BILLS RECEIVED.  I FINALLY RAN ACROSS IT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT WITH THE BILLS.

I NEED MORE FUN.  CORRECTING AFFIRMATION "I HAVE MORE FUN."  I'MO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FLEA MARKET.

MERCURY NEWS STOPPED TV GUIDE.  I HAVE TO FIND A SOURCE.  I THOUGHT LAST NIGHT WAS FRIDAY AND NO FRESH OFF THE BOAT BECAUSE THEY SHOWED FOOTBALL DRAFT PICKS.   HURRAY.

NO FRESH OFF THE BOAT.

I'M ANDROCLES

WHO KNEW.  WATCHING SEASON TWO OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE I WAS ANDROCLES.  I SPENT MY CHILDHOOD IN PAIN PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL.  THERE WAS SO MUCH NEGATIVITY. 

HE GETS EATEN.

MY FAMILY WAS KING MIDAS.  ONLY CARING ABOUT MONEY.

LIKE GRIMM FAIRY TALES OF HUMAN FAILINGS.  OR THE ORIGINAL ARABIAN NIGHTS.

CHILDHOOD IS DEPRESSING.  FAIRY TALES ARE TO PREPARE CHILDREN FOR DISAPPOINTMENT AND BETRAYAL.

i'm screwing up

I'M FORGIVING MYSELF.  I ATE HALF A PINT OF COOKIES & CREAM ICE CREAM.  I HAD A NICE NAP. 

I'M DOING IT.

I GOT PETROL AND ARRIVED SENIORS 6:54.  I'M SO DIFFERENT I DON'T KNOW ME BUT I'M HAPPIER WITH MYSELF THAN EVER BEFORE.

I'M SOOO ANGRY AT NEEDY SELF CENTERED MEN.  ANOTHER ONE WANTED TO SET MY GYM BAG ON THE FLOOR AND I TOLD HIM DON'T TOUCH IT IF I WANTED IT ON THE GROUND I'D HAVE PUT IT ON THE GROUND.  I PROCEEDED TO HANG IT ON THE ARM OF A FIXTURE AND HE MADE A STUPID COMMENT SO I SAID "NEEDY MEN.  LOOK AT ME.  LISTEN TO ME"  I'M DONE WITH ALL MEN EXPECTING ASIAN WOMEN TO APOLOGIZE FOR LIVING.

LIKE THEY HAVE MORE OF A RIGHT TO THIS PLANET THAN ME.  LOOK HOW THEIR DISRESPECT HAS POLLUTED THE PLANET.  PEOPLE DISRESPECT EVERYTHING.  THEY DON'T EVEN RESPECT THE MONEY THEY SO DESPERATELY GRUB FOR.  THEY WASTE IT ON NEW CARS THAT LOSE 1/3 VALUE DRIVING IT OFF THE LOT.

EVERYONE WHO DISRESPECTED ME IS WITHERING.  MARY'S OUT AGAIN HAVING FALLEN.  KIMO CONTINUES TO DETERIORATE WHILE INGA AND ART ARE THRIVING.

LIFE IS SO SIMPLE.  NEWTON'S LAW OF ENERGY IS BASICALLY WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.  AND THEY DON'T SEE IT OR CHOOSE NOT TO SEE IT.

I CAN'T LET IT CONTINUE TO MAKE ME SAD.. I LET IT GO.  NO ENERGY ON IT.  I OBSERVE.

EXTRA CARE/STAY HUMBLE AND LOVABLE

EARTH DAY.  THE WORLD REFLECTS WHAT WE'RE DOING TO OURSELVES.  OUR BODIES REFLECT WHAT WE'RE DOING TO OURSELVES.  I KEPT UP APPEARANCES LIKE THE FAMILY ALWAYS DID AND CONTINUED TO RE INJURE MY BACK.

NO MORE.  THE CHEMICALS FOR EVERYTHING ARE POISONING OUR BODIES AND THE PLANET.  I STOP POISONING MYSELF HERE AND NOW.

I TAKE EXTRA LOVING CARE OF MYSELF FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.

I QUESTION EVERY DECISION I MAKE BASED ON IMPROVING MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH.

LET'S SEE HOW IT GOES.

SENIOR CENTER-RUTH GAVE ME 25 MONOPOLY TICKETS.  NO EXERCISE BIKES AVAILABLE SO I'M PLAYING IN THE FIREPLACE ROOM LISTENING TO LOUISE HAY.  AND GERDA GAVE ME INSTANT WINNERS FROM MARILYN SHHHH......

I ATE DINNER, CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE, BOX OF PEANUT M&M'S AND NAPPED TWO HOURS.  SUGAR IS THE BEST SLEEP AID. 

BEST EASTER EVER

THERE WAS LITTLE TRAFFIC, NO CROWDS ON A SUNDAY.  THANK YOU GOD.  I HAD A LOVELY DAY DESPITE A CRAZY WOMAN AT THE GYM.  I BLESSED HER TO GO ON TO HER KARMA.  HEY, SHE COULD BE MY SISTER BUT I DON'T HAVE TO EVER SEE HER AGAIN.

AND....I REPLIED TO A TEXT FROM DISCOVER SUCCESSFULLY.  I FEEL TECH SAVVY.

I ENTERED MY MONOPOLY CODES, CHECKED MY GAME PIECES.

 

IT'S SATURN DAY

I THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.  I DO LOVE TAKING CARE OF MY SELF WHEN I FEEL GOOD.  TODAY IS LOVELY COOL AND EXERCISE FEELS SO GOOD. 

JAPANESE ANIME IS SO WEIRD.  I'M WATCHING NAPPING PRINCESS.  I THINK IT'S ABOUT THE INTERSECTION OF DREAMS AND MAGIC AND REALITY.  I THINK.

scared myself

I JUST REMEMBERED I NEED TO PAY CONCELL AND PGE.  OH, WELL.  I WONDER IF I DIDN'T HAVE GOOD FRIDAY OFF WHEN I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED.  AND THE WORLD DIDN'T END.

10:30 pm.  GOOD DO NOTHING DAY.  I THINK IF I DIDN'T GO TO SENIORS I'D HAVE TO CLEAR THE HOUSE OUT OF BOREDOM.  I WENT THROUGH SOME JEWELRY, CHECKED THE MINIATURES TO FIX THE MUSIC BOX.  GOT A LOT DONE.  2.3 MOVIE CHANNEL IS PLAYING BIBLE STORIES MARATHON. 

OWIE

I'M FULL OF WASABI ALMONDS.  I HAVE 3 BAGS.  SO GOOD.  BUT I EAT TOO MUCH.  THERE I GO JUDGING MYSELF.  I HAVE TO ACCEPT MYSELF WHERE I AM.

I'M SO USED TO CRITICISM..  I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT IN THEIR EYES.  MAYBE WHY I NEVER FELT LONELY.  1) THEY'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEAD.  2) WHY WOULD I MISS THEIR COMPANY.  3) EVERYBODY'S THE SAME.  NO ONE I MISS.

4:30 PM TOMAS CAME BY TO TELL ME CURTIS DIED SUNDAY MORNING LIKE DAD.  TOMAS WENT THURSDAY TO VISIT HIM IN HOSPICE.  SUNDAY WAS THE 14TH.  SO NOW 4/14, 5/13, 6/13.  DEATH DAYS.  HE CALLED 4:17 PM BUT I HAD MY PHONE OFF.

AND OF COURSE HE'S TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.  CLEAR STUFF OUT.  DO, DO, DO.  LET HIM DO IT.

BE, BE, BE.

baby

I'M STILL NOT AWARE OF MY INNER CHILD.. THE CORE OF ME.  THE ORIGINAL AUTHENTIC ME.  I'M BEING THE BEST I CAN.  WHEN I KNOW BETTER I'M WILLING TO DO BETTER.  THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY SO MANY SENIORS BECOME FAT.  THEY IGNORE THE INNER CHILD AND SUBSTITUTE FOOD FOR THE DESIRES OF THE INNER CHILD.  WHILE EATING IS FUN THERE'S A WORLD TO PLAY IN.

HUMANS ARE THE ONLY MAMMAL THAT DOESN'T LEARN THROUGH PLAYING, MAKES LEARNING DULL AND BORING.

I NEED TO HAVE MORE FUN.  I'VE BEEN PLAYING POP POP RUSH. 

pop pop rush

i'm hooked for now.  it's a strategy puzzle i'm using as a meditation.  i'm getting past judging myself for not forcing myself to re injure myself sacrificing my back health to keeping up appearances.

keeping up appearances.  the 3 bucket sisters britcom 1990-1995.  british comedy.  i watched over and over and pbs still broadcasts episodes.  hyacinth, daisy, rose.

i must remember to accept this is where i am.

I HAVE ASPIRIN, TRAIL MIX, ANIMAL COOKIES, ETC. FREEBIES FROM SAFEWAY.  TOOK ME AN HOUR AND HALF WALKING ALL OVER THE STORE.  I GOT A LOT OF EXERCISE.

FASCINATIN' RHYTHM

FASCINATING RHYTHM WAS PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I AWOKE.  I'M FEELING RESISTANCE TO LISTENING TO LOUISE HAY.  TIME TO DOUBLE DOWN.  IT MUST BE WHY I STOPPED AFFIRMATIONS AT 25.  I'M ABOUT TO SURPASS A NEW LEVEL. A NEW LIFE.

LOOKING BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF MY BLOGS SOME HAVE BEEN VIEWED MULTIPLE TIMES.  2012.

i'm still judging myself.  i learned from my critics to judge.  that's what it's all about.  my back, the house, the yard.  doing my best not being good enough.

i'll heal by not judging myself.  my fear and resistance signal a new phase, direction.

DO NOTHING DAY

I THANK LISA THE OWNER/MANAGER OF TALK OF THE TOWN BAR/TAQUERIA.  THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD.  SHE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF THE LATINO OWNER AND JAPANESE MOTHER.  A SINGLE MOM OF A 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SHE TOOK ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH HER TODDLER DOING WHATEVER SHE WANTED.

 SHE TAUGHT ME TO TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO SENIOR'S FOR 10 YEARS NOW.  2007 AILEEN AGREED TO RESOLVE MOM'S ESTATE NOT ACCORDING TO MOM'S LIVING WILL BUT A COMPROMISE WITH AILEEN'S TYRANNICAL DEMANDS.  AILEEN DECIDED SHE WANTED EVERYTHING AND TRIED TO CHANGE HER TITLE FROM EXECUTOR TO SUCCESSOR.  HER GREED SAVED ME.  SHE REFUSED TO DISTRIBUTE THE CASH PORTION OF MOM'S ESTATE OVER AT LEAST $600,000.  AND PAT VOREITOR EX MAYOR OF SUNNYVALE AS HER ATTORNEY CONTINUED THE TORTURE.  THE FOURTH AND FINAL ATTORNEY.

I'VE BEEN WEARING A BACK BRACE FOR 4-5 YEARS NOW.

10:15 pm I WENT TO SAVERS CLOSING.  TODAY 75% OFF LAST DAY STORE IN SJ ON MOORPARK.  THE EMAIL WAS SENT LAST NIGHT BUT DIDN'T SHOW UP 'TIL 10 AM TODAY.  I WENT AND THE STORE WAS ALMOST EMPTY.  THEY STOPPED RESTOCKING WHEN THE EMPLOYEES WERE TOLD TUESDAY.  THAT'S COLD.

I'M FEELING WEIRD.  I SPENT THE DAY PLAYING GAMES AND FEEL GUILTY.  I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO ENJOY MYSELF.  I'M WILLING TO LEARN.

I NEED TO PLAY MORE

I'M AFRAID.  I WAS NEVER ALLOWED.  I WAS PUNISHED FOR HAVING FUN.  THEY SHAMED AND HUMILIATED ME.  WHEN I'M HAPPY THERE'S ALWAYS THE FEAR OF CRITICISM AND SCORN.

key to failure

TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE.  FRESH OFF THE BOAT.

A LOT OF MY DEPRESSION CAME FROM MY PARENTS' INSISTENCE ON BEING MISERABLE TO EACH OTHER AND ME.  .

3 PM-NOW I KNOW TO LEAVE.  I DEFROSTED A BAG OF SPIRAL SLICED  HAM FROM THANKSGIVING.  I REALIZED I COULD GLAZE WITH ORANGE MARMALADE.  SO GOOD.  I COOKED 3 SMALL ARTICHOKES FROM MY YARD.  SO GOOD.  NO THISTLE.

I THOUGHT I WAS DOING ALRIGHT.  I GOT INTO THE LOCKER ROOM TODAY AND I HAD FORGOTTEN MY LOCKS YESTERDAY.  THEY WERE STILL HANGING FROM THE HANDLE.

SO I CAME STRAIGHT HOME FROM CAMPBELL LIBRARY.  I FINISHED READING FRESH OFF THE BOAT.  A TRULY REMARKABLE LIFE. 

MORE

I'M MORE ALIVE THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.  I NOW HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.  NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE ME HAPPY.  OR AT LEAST NONE SO FAR.

I'M OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITY. 

12:34 PM SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT. 

JEANIE GAVE ME 8 SANDWICHES.  INGE WAS AT THE DOCTOR'S AND NO ONE FROM THE GANG WAS HERE BUT ME. 

9:30 I WENT TO EXERCISE AND KEPT TWO CHICKEN AND ONE PBJ.  I FOUND A SILVER HAIRPIN IN THE SHOWER. 

ART SHOWED UP LATE FOR LUNCH FROM KAISER  AND DIDN'T TELL ANYONE TO SAVE HIS LUNCH SO I GAVE HIM A SANDWICH.  I LOVE WHEN EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.

OF COURSE

I'M STILL DEPRESSED.  MY BACK IS A LITTLE BETTER BUT MY CIRCUMSTANCES ARE UNCHANGED.  I'M GRATEFUL MY BACK IS BETTER.  I'M FEELING FRUSTRATED AND THWARTED BY MYSELF.

I'M MISSING ERIC.  THE YOUNGER BROTHER I NEVER HAD.  HIS TWO YEAR DEATH 6/13 /2017, JUST 61 YEARS 10 DAYS.  MOM WAS 80 YEARS 12 DAYS.  EACH DEATH REMINDS ME OF THE OTHERS'.  DAD'S DEATH A YEAR 8 MONTHS BEFORE AT 79.  THE DAY SHE DIED I HEARD MOM YELLING AT HIM ABOUT HIS TOOTHPICKS LYING EVERYWHERE IN THE HOUSE. 

MY SISTERS' BETRAYAL ANOTHER FORM OF DEATH.  WHO I THOUGHT THEM TO BE IS DEAD FOREVER LINKED TO MOM'S UNHAPPY LIFE.

THE BEST IS YET TO BE

I HAD THE BEST DREAM YET.  GOD CAME TO EMBRACE ME.  HE PICKED ME UP AND CARRIED ME.

I CAN DO IT

I'VE BEEN COMING HOME EARLY AND SCHEDULING REST TIME AND I CAN EXERCISE 7 DAYS.

I WOKE AT 4 SO I'M ALREADY YAWNING.  I DROVE TO MIDTOWN SAFEWAY, THE CAR SALE S. 7TH ST SAN JOSE, SAVERS, SENIORS.

I REVISITED SJSU, TOGAMI AUTO REPAIR BUILDING IS COMPLETELY GONE, WILLOW
GLEN IS ALMOST THE SAME.  I'M DIFFERENT.

AT SAVERS I ALMOST LOST MY KEY I LEFT IN THE TRUNK BUT AN ANGEL RETURNED IT TO ME, THE PARKING LOT TAMALE VENDOR.

I'M DOING OK.  TYGJ.

WATCHING THE RIFLEMAN SERIES 1 EPISODE 30 I GOT THE ANSWER TO MY FATHER'S JEALOUSY.  HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO DO BETTER OR HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN HIM.  HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME TO AUNTIE KATCHAN TO BE ADOPTED.  HE PUNISHED HIMSELF FOR ALL HIS MEANESSES AND PETTY JEALOUSY.  HE SUFFERED HORRIBLY.

WHAT DOES AILEEN HAVE WAITING FOR HER.

TAKING CARE OF ME IS SO ODD

I WAS FORCED TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE.  DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS FEELS COMFORTABLE.  NOT RIGHT BUT FAMILIAR.  OH, THAT FAMILY AGAIN.

I'M AT A LOSS OF WHAT TO DO.  DO NOTHING.

I FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT KILLING MYSELF.

MY BACK IS HURTING IN A NEW WAY.

UP

STEPHANIE GAVE ME 15 MONOPOLY TICKETS.  STILL FEELING TIRED.  I'M TRYING NOT TO OVER DO.  I ALWAYS FEEL SO GOOD AFTER EXERCISE I HAVE TO BE TOUGH ON MYSELF TO REST. 

LUNCH WAS OK AND I REMEMBERED TO GIVE ART THE MAGNIFYING PAGE AND I WENT TO CAMPBELL LIBRARY.  IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THURSDAY AND I WANT TO TRY THE KEY FROM STAR ONE CAR SALE ON SATURDAY. 

I DON'T KNOW HOW I SURVIVED THE HOUSEWORK AND YARD WORK I DID BEFORE.  I GUESS NEUROPATHY HELPED SINCE I COULDN'T FEEL ANY PAIN I'D GET SICK.  I DON'T KNOW HOW THE HOUSE SURVIVED. 

I FEEL LIKE MAKING SOUP FOR DINNER.  I'M HUNGRY.

reluctant hero

WATCHING SPIDER MAN = SPIDER VERSE.  A TALE OF MANY UNIVERSES.  VERY ELABORATE ANIMATION.  SAD REALLY.  HE'S A TEEN.

IT'S TOO LIKE REALITY.  NO CHILDHOOD.  LIFE IS HARD AND THEN YOU DIE.  WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THAT FOR KIDS.  NOT FOR KIDS.

DO THEY REALIZE THE MESSAGE THEY'RE SENDING OR DON'T THEY CARE?

PROGRAMMING

WATCHING RIFLEMAN IS LIKE AN INFINITE JOB STORY.  EVERY EPISODE IS TRIALS AND TRIBULATION. 

LIFE WASN'T MEANT TO BE SO DIFFICULT. 

I TOOK THE RECYCLE.  I THOUGHT I HAD A LOT BUT IT WAS ALL BAG.  I'M SLOWLY DRINKING ALL THE SALE WATERS I HAVE, 

RIFLEMAN 1958

I BORROWED FROM THE LIBRARY.  MY DAD LOVED WESTERNS.   HE DIDN'T HAVE MALE ROLE MODELS.

I WOKE AT 3.  6 HOURS IS SURVIVAL 8 IS LIVING.  I LIKE HAVING 3 HOURS TO GET OUT OF BED.  I DID MONOPOLY TICKETS.  THE PROGRAM KEPT CRASHING SO THE TIME WAS WELCOME.