Monday, April 29, 2019

FLASHBACKS

MY BODY IS RELEASING TRAUMAS.  I CAN HEAR MOM THREATENING TO KILL US.  I'M REMEMBERING HER CHASING AILEEN BEATING HER WITH A BROOM WHILE MITZI AND I HIDE UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE.  MITZI WAS 3.  AILEEN HAD A BOYFRIEND.  MOM CLAIMED AILEEN WAS BOY CRAZY BUT IT WAS PROJECTION. MOM ALWAYS CHOSE MEN AND RESENTED I HADN'T BEEN HER SON.  HOW MANY TIMES DID I HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER DISAPPOINTMENT.

WE'RE LIVING ON LAWRENCE STATION ROAD.  WHERE WAS DAD?

7:27 AM-AT THE SENIORS I'M MAKING IT A POINT TO LISTEN TO LOUISE.  IT'S HARD STAYING POSITIVE WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE AROUND.  I'M PUZZLING.  I BROUGHT AUNTY'S CARD BUT FORGOT THE PENCIL SHARPENER.  I'LL DO IT LATER. 

I TOOK MY TIME MAKING EATING OATMEAL.  I NEED MORE FUN I HAVE NOTHING/NO ONE TO LIVE FOR.  MAYBE THAT'S THE POINT. TO LIVE FOR MYSELF.  HEALING MYSELF.  AS PART OF THE PLANET I'M HEALING THE PLANET.


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