LOST MY PHONE

SATURDAY AND DIDN'T FREAK.  THIS MORNING I WAITED 'TIL AFTER LUNCH TO CALL MISSION AND SOMEONE HAD CALLED ON PHONE HISTORY.  COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT.  SIMEON CHECKED SAFE AND INDEED IT WAS.  I CONSIDERED GOING TOMORROW TO TEST MY O/C BUT NO NEED.  I DROPPED OFF FRUIT FROM YARD AND PROCEEDED TO ST J.

I DECIDED FEELING SAD WAS BETTER WITH OTHERS FEELING SAD.  JOHN WAS RIDING AROUND PARKING LOT REMINDED ME OF AARON AT 8 FALLING OFF HIS BIKE TELLING ME ABOUT THE TIME HE FELL OFF HIS BIKE.  HE'S SO LIKE AILEEN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GREAT TODAY HAS BEEN.  I DIDN'T PUNISH MYSELF FOR HAVING FUN. 

BIG WIN

I DON'T KNOW WHERE PHONE 1 IS.  AND I'M NOT PANICKING. BLAMING OR FREAKING.  BIG WIN.  IT MAY BE TIME TO THINK OF A NEW PHONE.  OR I HAVE PHONE 2.  OR I COULD USE PHONE 3.

SO MANY OPTIONS.  I FOUND QUARTER DIME AND 2 CENTS.  I FOUND 5 KIDS HEMATITE NECK'S, 4 SILK NAPKINS, ELASTIC PLASTIC AMBER BEAD WRIST$5.45.  ST J.  3 CHICKEN FRY STEAKS $1.15,  M&M'S $1!  LUCKY'S. 

LUNCH WAS LASAGNA.  A LITTLE BURNED AND THEY HAD  IT LAID OUT FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR I GUESS TO COOL.  GARLIC BREAD SOAKED IN BUTTER.  CAESAR SALAD.  CAN'T BEAT THE COMPANY.  TOO FUNNY.

WENT TO LIBRARY, CHARGED CHROME, WATCHED DVD.  THEY SHUT OFF POWER SO I HAD TO REMOVE DVD MANUALLY WITH PAPER CLIP.  I'M OUT IN CAR AT HOME FOR RECEPTION.

WEATHER IS WONKY.

HAPPIEST BABY

I'M CREATING MY NEW HISTORY.  I'M WATCHING ABBOT AND COSTELLO JACK AND THE BEANSTALK WITH A THIS IS YOUR LIFE SHORT FILM.  I LOVE SPECIAL FEATURES.  I STARTED WATCHING BOMBSHELL HEDY LAMARR.  SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL THE WORLD GAVE HER EVERYTHING BUT RESPECT AND SHE DIED FROM THE LACK.

SHE WAS A MODERN WOMAN TOO FAR AHEAD OF HER TIME.

TIMING IS MOST IMPORTANT.

I COULDN'T GET THIS BLOG TO RESPOND AND FIGURED A WAY AROUND IT SO I DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING. 

I'M IMPROVING.

TO BE

I ALWAYS GET SAD END OF MONTH.  BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE.  THIS IS A CRAZY SET UP.  LIFE ITSELF IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AND THEN THERE ARE PEOPLE MAKING IT WORSE BECAUSE THEY CAN.

SITTING DRINKING COFFEE FLAVORED WATER, WRITING, SMOKING UNDISTURBED IS HEAVENLY.

PROPEL HAS A NEW POWDERED FLAVORED DRINK MIX LUCKY'S FRIDAY FREEBIE.

WATCHING SENIORS IS FASCINATING.  IT'S LIKE THEY'RE WEARING DISGUISES.  HALLOWEEN IS COMING UP.  A LOT ARE CHILDREN IN AN OLD PERSON SUIT.

I FORGOT

CHROME @ HOME.

I LOVE RHYMING.  I HAD SUCH A GOOD DAY YESTERDAY.  I'M GETTING BETTER AT THIS THING CALLED LIFE.  I THINK.

I WENT AND GOT GAS AND GOT TO SENIORS EARLY.

I CLEARED A PRINTER PAPER JAM FOR PETE.  I LOVE DOING THINGS FOR PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE ME.  MY FAMILY ALWAYS RESENTED MY SUCCESSES EVEN WHEN THEY WERE ON THEIR BEHALF.

10 MINUTES

EARLY.  I NOTICED THE BARRICADES CHAINED TO THE LIGHT POSTS YESTERDAY AND ASKED THE OFFICE.  OF COURSE THEY KNEW NOTHING.  USELESS.  THEY SIT AT SCREENS LOOKING AT NOTHING ALL DAY.  LIKE THE NURSE THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BAND AIDS.  USELESS.

JOURNAL

MY ONE AND ONLY FAITHFUL COMPANION SINCE 1976.  I STOPPED FEELING LONELY.

BEING MARRIED TO THE WORST PERSON WAS THE LONELIEST.  IT WAS HELL.  SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.  LIKE A TIME OUT WITH NO END IN SIGHT.  I NEVER FELT LONELY BEFORE.  IT TOOK ME 6 MORE YEARS 10 YEARS TOTAL TOGETHER TO THROW IN THE TOWEL AND REALIZE I NEVER LEFT HOME.  I MARRIED THE FAMILY.

TAKING CARE OF THE PARENTS AND SEEING THE EVIL STEP SISTERS FOR WHO THEY CHOOSE TO BE ALMOST KILLED MY SPIRIT AND BODY CRITICALLY WOUNDED MY MIND.  ALMOST.

DIVORCE IS A GOOD THING.  DO OVER.

1985 I STOPPED AT RAM METAPHYSICAL BOOKSTORE KITTY CORNER TO THE ROSICRUCIAN MUSEUM SAN JOSE.  I MET TERRY AN EXTREMELY TALL THIN AFRO MAN FRIEND OF THE OWNER FRANSCIOSE.  WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT JOURNALS.  I HAD IT WITH ME IN THE CAR AND LET HIM READ.  HE CHOSE JUNE 12, 1984 AND I'D WRITTEN THE DREAM I HAD OF A ZULU WARRIOR PICKING ME UP AND CARRYING ME ACROSS TO THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET.  HE WAS AMAZED AND SAID IT WAS HIM.  I DON'T KNOW I TRIED TO WARN HIM ABOUT THE DANGEROUS ENERGY WORK HE WAS DOING.  HE DIDN'T LISTEN AND LAST I HEARD FROM FRANSCIOSE HE HAD AIDS AND WAS IN FRANCE.  I DON'T KNOW.

DOCTORS DEPRESS ME

I TOOK THE FOLKS TO SO SO MANY APPOINTMENTS.  I SPENT SO MUCH TIME AT KAISER I BECAME FAMILIAR.  SO NOW WHEN I GO FOR ME I FEEL DEPRESSED.  I'M GLAD I'M HEALTHY.  ILLNESS BECAME THEIR OCCUPATION.  I CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY.  I'VE ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT.  GOOD FOR ME.

I'M GOING TO  WASH MY HAIR EVERY DAY.  MITZI DID AND MOM NEVER SAID A WORD TO HER BUT SHE YELLED AT ME FOR WASHING MY HAIR ONCE A WEEK FOR USING TOO MUCH WATER.  DISPLACED RESPONSIBILITY.  MY CRAZY FAMILY.

DID MY DUE DILIGENCE.  ON HOLD 12 MINUTES FOR MAMMOGRAM BEFORE I HUNG UP.  I CALLED FOR EYE AND COULDN'T MAKE APPOINTMENT.  LATER.

INGE SHOWED UP TODAY.  THEY DIDN'T GO ON VACATION.  MAURICE GOT SICK.

I WENT TO PANERA FOR STEAK ARUGULA SANDWICH CHIPS.  $12.  SO I CAN GET 4. 

I REPAIRED BAG AND BATHING SUIT.

GOOD DAY.

VALUE

I'VE SPENT A FORTUNE.  I HAVE SO MUCH.  AND THERE'S MORE.

I PICKED UP FRUIT IN THE EVENING LAST NIGHT AND RILED MY BACK SO I STAYED IN AND WORKED ON MY SEWING REMODEL PROJECTS.  MY BACK IS TALKING TO ME.  I'M LEARNING TO TAKE CARE OF MY SELF BETTER.  I ATE JUNK AND LOBSTER CAKES AND SALAD.  I'M SO WORTH IT.

I TRACKED MY LIBRARY LOANS.  I'M GOOD.  GREAT EVEN.

GREAT GIRL.

MORE

BEAUTIFULLY.

I'M SITTING IN MY CAR ENJOYING MY AFTER LUNCH SMOKE.  I DECIDED ON 2 BURGER KING WHOPPERS USED MY GIFT CARDS.  FREE MONEY.  I MADE AN AVOCADO, ALMOND BUTTER, STRAWBERRY CHIA CHEESE SANDWICH FOR DESSERT LATER.  I HAVE MY MOVIES I'M SET FOR THE BEST SATURDAY YET.

I LOOKED ONLINE FOR VEG PROTEINS AND THERE'S A BUNCH.  I ALREADY EAT A LOT OF ALMONDS, PEANUTS, ETC.  AND THE STRAWBERRY CHIA IS PROTEIN TOO.

BODY NEEDS PROTEIN TO REBUILD.

I SIT IN THE LIBRARY KNOWING GOING HOME LEADS ME TO OVERDO.  THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO DO.  I HAVE THE DRESSES AND SHOULDER STRAPS TO MAKE.  FRUIT TO PICK UP.  YARD TO PLAN. 

AND THE WORK ON ME.

*me

I'M FEELING SUCCESSFUL.  AUNTIE WROTE AND SENT $20.  I WENT TO ST J TAKING JOHN AVOCADOS, GUAVA, CHILI PEPPERS.  

I WROTE HER BACK FIRST THING FOR 11 AM MAIL PICKUP.  EXERCISED, LUNCHED, LOOKED ONLINE CENTRAL HAD CHROME AVAILABLE.  DECIDED TO KEEP NORTH SIDE EASIER.  READ NEWS PAPER RELAXED. 

HOME EARLY BY 3.

I'M RESETTING MY FAVORITE SITES.  FOR THE FIRST TIME I REMEMBERED TO TURN IT OFF.

slept 10 minutes

WOKE DREAM OF YELLOW PARAKEET SC IN HOUSE BEING RENOVATED.  BIRD HASN'T BEEN FED IN DAYS.  I GET HER FRUIT WHILE LOOKING FOR SEEDS, CUT UP APPLE.  MY HEART IS RACING FROM DREAM.  KEEPING TRACK OF BIRD WATCHING FOR CATS.  NICE BRIGHT HOUSE.

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

MY BACK AND LUMBAR HURT.  A GOOD HEALTHY PAIN.  I EXERCISED AND STRETCHED IN HOT AND COLD WATER.   I GOT TOFU PEACH SALAD FOR LEFTOVERS.

I THOUGHT HEY I CAN GO PAY MY WALMART ON THE WAY TO CAMPBELL AND I PAID MY PGE TOO.

PARKING AT WALMART I SAW TWO SMALLISH WOODEN BOXES IN THE DIVIDER.  I QUICKLY CHECKED THEM OUT BEFORE ANY ONE PARKED IN THE ADJACENT SPACE.  ART SUPPLIES AND DRAWING CASE.

CONFIRMATION.

I DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING TO BUY.  I WENT TO CARE MORE 1 PM WAITED HALF HOUR WATCHING MOM ON TV.  $TORE CAMPBELL KITTY PEN, POST ITS.  CIRCUITOUS ROUTE TO LIBRARY AND I'M HOME.

MAJOR POUT

AM I DEPRESSED OR CRANKY.  I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.  I WORE MY NEW CULOTTE DRESS AND FEEL SORE BUT OTHERWISE GOOD.IT'S A LOVELY DAY.

I PUZZLED, BOOK MOBILE, HAD LUNCH, EXERCISED.  MAYBE I'M TIRED AND CRANKY.  I WAS HUNGRY SO I ATE MY LEFTOVERS FROM LUNCH.  NOT GREAT BUT OK.

I AM STILL HEALING FROM SUNDAY.

OK I'LL  GO TO SPROUTS.  $5 COUPON.  I BOUGHT ALMONDS $4/LB AND PAMPERED MYSELF H/B AND I'M HAVING PEACH PIE.  IT'S LIKE FOR FREE.

I ATE HALF FOR DINNER.

GETTING BETTER.

I THINK, BELIEVE.  I DON'T REALLY KNOW.  SUNDAY I WOKE TIRED, LOCKED THE KEY IN THE TRUNK, HAD THE FOB WHICH I FOUND OUT ONLY OPENS DRIVER DOOR BUT LOCKS ALL.  I THOUGHT I WAS ALRIGHT UNTIL GETTING HIT BY ELECTRIC CAR.  MAYBE I WASN'T AS ALRIGHT AS I THOUGHT.

SO TODAY I GOT MAD AT KIMO FOR TREATING ME AS IF INVISIBLE AND TAKING OVER PUZZLE.  THIS MORNING I WAS DONE AND WENT TO EXERCISE SO HE ASSUMED THE ASS IT WAS OK TO TAKE OVER IN THE AFTERNOON.  WELL IT WASN'T.  NO MORE NICE GAL.

WHILE FUMING (HUH) IN MY CAR I REMEMBERED I WANTED SPARKLING ICE FROM SAFEWAY SO I INSTANTLY CALMED MYSELF AND WENT.  THEN WALGREEN'S FOR SMOKES HAVING SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED STOPPING, NOT YET.  SOME OTHER REACTION TO REPLACE FUMES.

EMOTIONS ARE EXHAUSTING.

new carpet

SENIOR CENTER.  I FORGOT SO I'M COMPUTING IN THE RAIN COOLED CAR.  NO ACCESS TO SECOND STORY.  LOVELY.

STRAPS.  I HAVE BUTTON ON SHOULDER STRAPS.  I'VE BEEN PLANNING ON A PATTERN TO ADD STRAPS TO STRAPLESS TOPS AND I ALREADY HAVE BUTTON STRAPS ON BATHING SUIT TOP.  I AM SO BLESSED.

I NAPPED EXHAUSTED AND FEEL SO ANGRY.  I HATE MY SISTERS.  LOVE AND HATE.  I WENT TO CVS SARATOGA TO REDEEM FREE COUPON AND LUCKY'S FOR BURGER KING GIFT CARD.  I BOUGHT TWO EGG ROLLS FOR DINNER WITH PEAR. 

3rd time hit

I'VE BEEN RUN DOWN BY A BIKE AS A CHILD BY A CHILD, HIT BY A CAR CROSSING MONROE AT LAWRENCE ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL JEFFERSON JR HIGH BY A MIDDLE AGED WHITE WOMAN IN HER CAR NEVER STOPPED KNOCKED ME SIDEWAYS THROWING MY BOOKS INTO THE STREET.  I SAW HER FACE SHE LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME AND CONTINUED DRIVING AND TODAY.  

SUNNYVALE DOLLAR STORE;

      YOUNG EARLY 20'S MODERN INDIAN WOMAN HIT ME BACKING OUT OF A PARKING SPACE IN HER SILENT ELECTRIC SEDAN.  IF I'D BEEN A CHILD SHE'D HAVE RUN ME OVER.  I YELLED AT HER 'YOU HIT ME.'  SHE ASKED IF I WAS HURT 'MY ARM' WHERE HER TRUNK CONNECTED WITH MY BODY AND PUSHED ME.  LATER MY RIGHT LEG HURT FROM CATCHING MYSELF FROM FALLING DOWN.   SHE KEPT REPEATING SHE WAS SORRY AS SHE ROLLED DOWN THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND PULLED THE EAR BUDS OUT.  I WARNED HER TO BE CAREFUL DRIVING A LETHAL WEAPON.

PROBABLY WON'T DO ANY GOOD, DEAD EYES.

I STOPPED AT PANDA EXPRESS AND TREATED MYSELF, CAME DIRECTLY HOME TO REST 11 A M.

TOO CUTE

BECAUSE I SAID SO IS SO HORRIBLE.  ONE LONG CLICHE.  DIANE KEATON IS CHANNELING BUSTER SLAPSTICK.  BECAUSE SHE'S A CATERER THERE'S A RUNNING JOKE OF CAKE IN THE FACE THAT ISN'T FUNNY AND BECAUSE SHE'S 60 SHE CAN'T MANAGE TECHNOLOGY. 

UGH.

A NEW DAY-ASTEROID 2

DUE TO PASS c.5 PM.  BIGGER THAN EMPIRE STATE SKYSCRAPER.  3.5 MILLION MILES AWAY.  COULD EXPLAIN FEELING WEIRD ED OUT.

I FEEL LIKE STAR WARS.  LIFE BEING A BATTLE.  I WAS MORE HONEST AT 8.  I HAD TO LIE TO MYSELF ABOUT MY FAMILY TO BE ABLE TO TOLERATE LIVING.  I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS GRUMPY.  AND YET PEOPLE LIKED ME.  MY FAMILY NEVER LIKED ME, BARELY TOLERATED ME AND ACTED AS IF I WERE A CHARITY FROM THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS THAT NEVER EXISTED.

MY THEORY ABOUT EVOLUTION HOW THE EMBRYO GOES THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF INSECT, REPTILE, MAMMAL AND HOW SOME PEOPLE EMERGE NOT QUITE HOMO SAPIENT.  THE ZODIAC COVERS THAT.  IT TAKES INTO ACCOUNT THE DIVERSITY OF TYPES.  THE NOT QUITE MAMMAL, THE PREDATOR OR PREY.  WARM OR COLD BLOODED.  HOW WE WALK AROUND IN MAMMAL BODIES YET BEHAVE LIKE OTHER SPECIES.  THE US THEM SEPARATION.

HOW I SPRANG FROM THEM I'LL NEVER KNOW.  OR MAYBE I WILL.

FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY.  AS UNUSUAL AS THEY WERE THEY LOVED AND RESPECTED EACH OTHER.  I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THE DOCUMENTARY ON THE REAL FAMILY.  THE OLD ME WOULD HAVE HAD TO COMPULSIVELY TRACK IT DOWN.

I WENT TO CARL'S JR FOR $2.99 GUACAMOLE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER AND STOOD IN AN EMPTY STORE FOR 5 MINUTES WHILE THE CLERKS IGNORED ME SO I LEFT AND WALKED TO LUCKY'S GETTING MY FREE PC 10 OZ COLD BREWED MOCHA COFFEE, BOUGHT $50 PANERA GIFT CARD FOR 1000 POINTS AND FOR $2.56 ATE .32 OZ DELICIOUS CHILI CHICKEN EATEN AT MISSION.  I COULD SLEEP HERE.  72 o.  OUTSIDE 87.  I'M ATTEMPTING NEW ONLINE STUFF.  WISH ME LUCK.

SCORE!!

booga booga-ASTEROID 1

c. 9 PM. 

FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON NORTH SIDE CHROME IS NOT RENEWABLE EVEN THOUGH I SPECIFICALLY ASKED WHEN I CHECKED IT OUT.  SO MISSION TODAY.

I HAVE TO STAY CONSCIOUS IF I WANT TO GO ON WILCOX CAMPUS TOUR.  I'M FEELING SO SCATTERED.  YEAH IT'S BEEN IN THE 90'S AND I HAVE MY COOLING HANKIES.  I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST HAVE TO STAY CONSCIOUS.

YESTERDAY I THREW AWAY PSEUDO AILEEN'S TOWEL AND IT DID FEEL GOOD.  NO WONDER AILEEN TAKES MY THINGS TO TOSS THEM.  IT FEELS LIKE THROWING HER AWAY.

I SURVIVED SENIORS AND CAME TO MISSION TO RETURN CHROME.  JUSTIN CHECKED ONLINE AND STILL EXTRAS AVAILABLE SO HE CHECKED IT IN AND OUT TO ME.  I DECIDED TO TAKE SALADS HOME BEFORE WILCOX TOUR AND TRIED CHROME AND IT WAS LOCKED.  I REBOOTED AND STILL DIDN'T WORK.

I WENT TO WILCOX AND SAW A BUNCH OF WRINKLIES.  IT WAS FUN.  BILL CHARRON IS VERY HAPPY BECAME AN ENGINEER.  I DID GOOD.  RICK HAWKINS LIVES IN PALM SPRINGS.  I FORGET WHAT HE SAID HE DID.  I WORE MY COOLING FINERY AND HAD A GOOD TIME.  I DON'T WANT TO GO TO DRINKS.  AND I DON'T HAVE TO.

I SAW AILEEN'S PICTURE CLASS OF '64.  WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

RECOVER...

ING FASTER.  I THINK.  AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.  I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH BEING HEALTHY OR HAPPY.

TOMORROW IS THE WILCOX TOUR.  BRR.....

9/11/2001

I'M  SO MUCH BETTER FROM BEING BED RIDDEN AND MOM'S DEATH MAY 13TH.

I STARTLED AWAKE THAT MORNING AT 6 AM AND TURNED ON THE TV.  UNTIL I TURNED UP THE SOUND I THOUGHT THE CHANNELS WERE RUNNING THE SAME DISASTER MOVIE.  I PRAYED FOR THEM AND SHORTLY BEFORE 7 I WATCHED AS THE SECOND JET CRASHED INTO THE SECOND TOWER.  I CRIED AS I WATCHED ALL DAY WHEN I SAW THE TOWERS CRUMBLE AND COLLAPSE.  I WAS GLAD MOM HAD DIED AND DIDN'T WITNESS 9/11.  SHE WOULD HAVE IMPLODED.

I'M STILL FEELING SAD BUT BETTER.  I HAVEN'T RELAPSED.  MY BACK HURTS AND IT SHOULD.

TAKING IT EASY

I THINK I'M BETTER.  I SEEM BETTER.  I'M DOING OK. 

TOO MUCH

I'M FEELING CRANKY.  I SPENT A RESTLESS NIGHT.  LIKE WHEN I'D BEEN WORKING 6 MONTHS AT UPACC AND WOKE 3 A M IN A COLD SWEAT QUESTIONING MY LIFE CHOICES.  I HAD TO CONSIDER THE FLEXIBILITY AND ADVANTAGES AGAINST 6 1/2  YEARS IN COLLEGE TO WORKING AS CHURCH RECEPTIONIST AND TAKING CARE OF MOM AND DAD.  THEN AFTER DAD DIED MOM CAME TO PLAYS AND PROGRAMS.  THE WOMEN'S AUXILIARY MADE HER WELCOME.

LIKE WORKING AT MACY'S INSTEAD OF LAWRENCE SQUARE WAS BETTER BECAUSE THEY TAUGHT ME MANNERS AND DEPORTMENT EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T MY FIRST CHOICE. 

AND BEING MARRIED TO WILLIAM  MADE ME AWARE OF MY FAMILY PROGRAM INFLUENCE AND DYSFUNCTION.  AND IF HELL EXISTS HEAVEN MUST TOO.

SO......I DREAMED STEVE WAS HELPING ME REPROGRAM AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE I COULD DO IT, BUT I ONLY NEED TO LET GO AND LET GOD DO IT.

I WENT TO MISSION TO LEARN ABOUT SHREDDING PAPERS AND FOR BBQ.  I REMEMBERED I HAD DOUBLE WASH TO DO TOO.  PERFECT.  ONCE A YEAR TWO BOXES WORTH.  ONLY SANTA CLARA EMPLOYEES CAN BE MEMBERS.  MAYBE NEXT YEAR OPENED TO OTHERS. 

I WAS INVITED TO EAT I TOOK BURGER AND DOG TWO CHIPS COKE.  I STARTED MY WASH, CHARGED CHROME, ATE.  I CONSIDERED ANOTHER LIBRARY.  CAME HOME HUNG LAUNDRY WANTED NAP TWO HOURS.  I'M FEELING SORE AND TIRED.

HAPPY CHILD

WHENEVER I FEEL ANXIOUS I REMIND MYSELF I'M OK.  I'M TAKEN CARE OF.

ASTER EXERCISING AND SHOPPING I DECIDED TO GO STRAIGHT TO WALGREEN'S AND DIRECTLY TO ST J. 11:30 I READ THE PAPER FOR AN HOUR AND TOOK THE PAPER TO THE STORE.  I FOUND TWO BEAUTIFUL WATCHES, A METAL JEWELRY RACK, STRETCH HEMATITE ANKLET FOR $5. 

LUNCH WAS CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD, SPRING ROLLS, BREAD ROLL BUTTER.  I ASKED FOR WHAT I WANTED AND GOT IT.  NEW ME.

I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND CHARGED MY PHONE AND CHROME.  WATCHED THE HUSTLE REMAKE OF DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS.  IT'S OK.  SOME NEW BITS.  I GOT HOME 5:30.  I WAS ALMOST RUN OFF THE ROAD BY A HORRIBLE ASIAN LEXUS DRIVER ON KIELY.  SHE WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION AND SPEEDING. 

I'M OK GOD IS TAKING CARE OF ME.

FUN TAKES PLANNING

HAPPINESS DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN.  TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS REDUCES STRESS.  THERE'S SO MUCH TO FULFILLING RESPONSIBILITIES.  PAYING BILLS, DAILY MAINTENANCE, EXERCISE, EATING RIGHT.  ALL NEEDS TO BE DONE.

I COULDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF HOUSE.  SO MUCH NEEDS TO BE DONE.  I STILL HAVE EYE EXAM, MAMMOGRAM, DENTIST, ETC.  BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT TAKES A LOT OF WORK.

I DECIDED I'D EXERCISE THEN GO VALLEY VILLAGE.  I SAW GERDA AND ELSIE.  FED GERDA SINCE SHE BARELY WALKS.  BIG FAT GARLIC DOGS, POTATO AND GREEN SALAD, BAKED BEANS, DICED WATERMELON, COOKIE.    I MISS TAKING CARE OF MOM AND DAD.  IT GIVES ME A GOOD FEELING GERDA APPRECIATES ME.  ELSIE TRIED TO COMPETE. 

I WON A RAFFLE PEET'S COFFEE GIFT CARD AND FOLDING V V SHOPPING BAG.  I RECOGNIZED ELLA MAE'S DAUGHTER AND TALKED TO THEM.  OUTSIDE.  THEN AS I WAS PUTTING EVERYTHING IN MY CAR WRAPPING HOT DOG AND BEANS IN THE WET SWIM TOWEL IN THE CAR I SAW GERDA AND ELSIE IN THEIR CAR TALKING TO RAYMOND AND HE INVITED ME TO HIS ONE BEDROOM COTTAGE #10.  HELEN SIMONE HAD A TWO BEDROOM.  WE TALKED FOR AN HOUR.  HE HAD TO GET READY TO VISIT HIS NIECE IN BURLINGAME.  I DON'T THINK HE'S GAY.  I THINK HE'S A PLAYER LIKE TOM.

THEN I WENT TO MISSION LIBRARY WATCHED DVD, CHARGED CHROME AND ATE DINNER.  HOME BY 6. 

SMOOTHER

THIS LITTLE CHROME IS SMALLER.  I HAD TO CHARGE IT 2 HOURS TO GET IT TO TURN ON.  DOWN TO ZERO.  SO HASN'T BEEN USED MUCH.  BAG IS OLD STYLE.

NOW I'M FEELING TIRED.  I DID A LOT YESTERDAY.  I FORGOT TWO BAGS TODAY WITH MY EAR BUDS AND COULDN'T WATCH DVD.  I DIDN'T FEEL TIRED THIS AM.

I DID A LOT TODAY TOO.  WENT CAMPBELL, $TORE, ST J.  CAME HOME 3 PM TO REST.  TOMORROW HARRIS LASS, VALLEY VILLAGE.  SUNDAY ST J.  MONDAY MISSION CU.  AND THEN MY WORK WEEK CONTINUES.

I NEED MORE REST.

OR I'LL GET CRANKY.  I THINK EVERYTHING CREATIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE IS CHANNELED THROUGH MY TWO YEAR OLD.

EARLY BIRDS

I GOT HERE QUARTER TO 7 AND I'M #4.  THEY MUST CAMP OUT.  HUMMINGBIRD PROJECT IS DUE TODAY AND NONE OF MY HOLDS ARE READY SO I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO GO TO CAMPBELL.

SENIORS I ENJOY WATCHING PEOPLE TRICKLE INTO THE PARKING LOT.

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO FIND CHROMEBOOKS ONLINE AND SAW MISSION HAS HOLD AND NORTH SIDE 3 AVAILABLE SO HERE I AM RELAXING IN THE COOL.  THE BAY IS ALWAYS BREEZY AND COOL.  2 HOURS TO CHARGE FROM DEAD.

THE CHAIRS ARE NOT AS GOOD BUT IT'S HUGE AND QUIET.

FLORA

STARTED ATTENDING FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH SAN TOMAS HOMESTEAD.  I'VE BEEN TO TWO THANKSGIVING DINNERS THERE.  I NEED A PLACE TO SUPERCHARGE MY PRAYERS.

susan IS A WORRIER.  LOGICALLY I TRUST THE UNIVERSE BUT EMOTIONALLY.....AND MY INNER CHILD IS EMOTION=CREATIVE.  WHEN WE CAN CHANNEL DIRECT THAT WE'LL CREATE HEAVEN.  KING MIDAS HAD THE RIGHT IDEA THE WRONG EXECUTION.

I HAVE SINUS HEADACHE. 

NEW ME

NOT MEDS BUT MOOD UPLIFT NATURAL BOTANICALS.  MEET YOUR HERBS.COM.  AND IT SEEMS GENTLER AND LASTS LONGER AND SAYS ON THE INSTRUCTIONS CUMULATIVE EFFECT.  WELL IT SAYS 'BEST RESULTS WITH LONG-TERM USE.'

I'M DOING DIFFERENT.  I DECIDED INSTEAD OF RUSHING TO GOBBLE MY BREAKFAST I'D BRING IT AND EAT LEISURELY.

OH I FORGOT CORN I BOUGHT LUCKY'S.  I WAS GOING TO COOK IT AND BRING IT FOR GERDA AND INGE.  I'M EATING IT TOMORROW.

I'M USING MY EMOTIONS.  I BRUSHED MY TEETH AND SAW ONE TOOTH WESTERN DENTAL WORKED ON HORRIBLY DISCOLORED.  I DREAMED A WOMAN DENTIST TALKED TO ME ABOUT CAPPING AND CROWNING.  I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED.

RESTLESS

I'M FEELING THERE'S MORE.  I'M FLOATING ON THE UNIVERSAL SEA.

I CAN FEEL MY BACK AND IT'S SAYING REST.  I MEASURED FRIDGE 31 X 31 X 67 HALF THE OLD ONE.  PUT OUT SOME RECYCLE.  I HAD A  HARD TIME DECIDING ON WHAT TO WEAR PLAY OR WORK.  AND TODAY'S FORECAST 87 o.  HOME OR FIND REFUGE.  ALL I NEED IS SHADE, AIR CONDITION, POWER SOURCE. 

20 YEARS

I COULDN'T SLEEP TIL 12;30.  I HAVE THE DOG MOVIES; JOURNEY, WAY HOME.  I GUESS I'LL WATCH PURPOSE.  I TRIED TO TELL AUNTIE WHEN SNOOPY DIED.  IF PEOPLE REINCARNATE ANIMALS CAN TOO.

DAD DIED 20 YEARS AGO AND MY BODY IS REACTING.  THE STRESS AND SLEEPLESSNESS OF HIS LAST WEEK.   I'M READY FOR IT.  I THINK.

I SPENT THE DAY AT CUPERTINO 88 o.  I STAYED IN THE COOL AND THEN LUCKY'S MOUNTAIN VIEW HOMESTEAD AND GRANT FOR MY COFFEE DOUGHNUT FREEBIES  AND SALAD.  HOME AT 6:30.  I HAVE ALL DAY TOMORROW TO GET READY FOR THE WEEK.  I LOVE IT.