bbq breakfast

last night i made 1 cup rice in cooked asparagus juices sesame seeds and oil.  warmed 5 minutes with leftover asparagus and separated ribs.  

9 am-i considered going early to main but decided to wait 'til after cesar 911 at 10.  good thing too.  talk of the pack covid is all about community.  we either all get better or stay infected.  because it mutates everyone must be taken care of no exceptions or reinfection. 

my sleeve got wet and i changed my shirt.  the cut celery liquidizes faster than whole.  what a mess.

i'm releasing my guilt from having my good life.  i'm watching the 'crystal ball' comedy paulette goddard, ray milland.  as i tweak my life the tiny improvements add up.  life is a series of tiny details.  

looked for orange yams for my discount couldn't find them.  the yams i bought i returned.  i have chocolate saved 5 and dates in honor of army.  

took my walk stretch ground still squishy.  felt good.  flock of geese grazing watching where i walk.  clouding over from sunny day.  lovely.  my nerves are going crazy tickling.

heaven every day is the best day.  2 masks are better than one.  more comfortable.

my computing time is limited to keep me focused.  can't hyper focus.  moderation.  i spent a lot of time playing lotto, quizzes and researching.

i want help

partial internet connection service s v p meter.  and it's gone again.

i just realized our past is an emotional prison of chemical chains and prisons.  designed to aid childhood survival becoming obsolete and dysfunctional with maturity.  more for parental comfort than offspring.

taming: 1 minute what do i want.  20 minute total distraction allowing subconscious creating.  1 min formulate step to take before bed.

i had 2 pieces fried chicken for breakfast.  i function better on protein.  i washed some dishes.  

main connection.  i picked up free rock star caffeine drink.  stretching bars being used i walked and walked discovering ring set back of community center.  stretched legs on many benches.  moved car into shade.  it's lovely sitting quietly with the hustle and bustle around me.   moved again to front med signal still cuts in out.  finally stress free playing took almost 2 hours to load.  tv listings still trying to load.  at least it's free.  i'm playing scratch path game.  with stress free playing in background it's like i'm on vacation.  word finder exercises my brain.

i wonder who these people are dying?  still seems like a lot of people walking around.  

wow!  i just discovered i can expand frame using two fingers moving away from each other.  and it works on every page.  so on quizzes i can read each and every entry.  i'm such a read-a-holic.

what a beautiful day.

i smell fried chicken.  it's building myelin to secure my new pathways.  

saul-soc sec

5 am wake up to mistakes are self sabotage.  i suddenly saw all of them mapped out in my life.  panic.

called soc sec again 9 left voice mail waited and listened to instructions after long pause which made me wonder if the previous v mails were sent.  i called again to ask about message system and saul asked for particulars and will try to contact mrs coralis.  

shopped safe way, home for drop off on to main.  

reception spotty.  x fin and svp keep hijacking signal.  when the weather is nice i guess signal gets bounced.  it's clouding over so i may be able to compute.  google messing with blogger.  called main got number city i t left message.

stress free is working!!

this works for me

i opened this page yesterday 4;32 and left it open.  no publishing.  i have my brightest thoughts after a night of rest.  i didn't stretch on the park bars with the constant rain and my back is still grumbling.  i wanted protein for breakfast warmed the diced oven cooked pork.  it's funny breakfast i prefer savory and night i like sweet.  i suppose feeling tired at the end of the day i crave instant energy.

i'm reading 'taming anxiety' which is a restatement of happy brain chemicals.  much simpler easier to read and enjoy.  i've been unconsciously using the techniques all my life.  now i know why they work and why i stop using them after my life improves.  when they work it seems logical to continue capitalizing on the results but the chemical imperative is gone.  the human response is to move on.   nomads in thought and feeling.

for instance selling mary kay.  she must have truly understood human nature.  i would have thought nit would do well but she sold her product back to the company.  the program is fool proof.  the hard part is following the steps without deviation.  it's boring.

i am waiting for mrs coralis' return call.  if i don't hear from her i'll try again this afternoon.  i'm using taming on myself.  small incremental steps.  i'll call insurance after soc sec is resolved.  i wrote fry on calendar.  huh.

sitting at mission no connection.  says connected but no action.  i'm feeling stressed.  answered call from resort he very nicely hung up when i explained.  still steady rain.  oh, well.  

finally went to csc page agree connect and i'm back.  too slow.

picked up lunch to main.  3 better bars .2 behind main by duck lake.  hurrah!!  not raining break in clouds.  better and better.  i was forced to find better.  back ok not over tight.

wof-beige slacks works as memory tool to enter, i accidentally erased site.

i suddenly feel abandoned by the dead.  eating my pretty good mushroom chicken quarter and apple slaw seems to have triggered it.

good i'm good with adversity.  inter networks battling it out.   x-fin and -public.

harder and easier

i'm sitting at mission library.  couldn't get a signal seniors and started for main.  spirit detoured to college bought clearance corn bread.

i'm on csc-public.  agree and connect.  

11;15 #11 car rolling.  seniors not raining now just overcast.  17 minutes.  

pick up and back to mission.  even that spotty.  i had to remove sv power preferred. 

i came to main.  csc.  raining steady and cold 12;50.  eh, 53 o but 100 % humidity.  and mail preview note from auntie.  

i remembered c candy.  doing my computing frustrating with connection failures.  good old you tube keeps playing mostly.  sometimes i have to restart.  

home i charged chrome watched yukon kate.  

called cu regarding my accounts.  carla tried to straighten me out.  i went to cup teller said same number for both which means i gave mrs coralis wrong number.  soc sec left v mail.  

library i picked up holds and dropped off 4 films.  came main for csc no internet reception anywhere else.  must be storm.  

the good news i don't care tv i'm addicted computer games.

little bit of heaven

stopped at good will found drawing pencil set $1.49 and pearl bracelet $3.  like i need more jewelry.  oh, well.

waited 'til 11 to go to seniors.  i could watch concentration if i wanted.  ate my lunch, computed, and stretched.  my body is different.  after all the rehab i may be graceful, who knows.  home by 1.  washed dishes, tried cooking fatty chicken in toaster oven, better in microwave.  crispy the way i like it. 

2;30 at schs just starting to rain.  oh, yeah found another abandoned yoga mat.  i've found at least 4.  reception terrible came to main.  it's great!!  sprinkling i'm watching folks walk their dogs.  49 o.  helps my eyes to refocus.  listening to stress free.  if i had food it would be fabulous.

so frustrating when game won't play.  i know it's because of the advertising.  the longer at the site the more money they make.

home 6 pm i can watch concentration and supermarket sweep later my 5 pm shows repeat.  

wof-shopping for food

t-your vacation coverage

new behaviors=new life

'stress free forever' kelly howell.  i'm feeling very irritated and restless.  must be working.  i want to run away.  turned down the volume.  

internet reception frustrating me walked and stretched.  my right neck shoulder so tight and sore i can't feel anything else.  just like in '72 after i fell icy steps.  i had 3 migraines until i figured out my over tight neck trapezius needed kneading.  no more migraines.  feeling flashbacks from'72.  nausea, itchy, greasy scalp, sore feet, arms,pelvis.

47 o so cold for the first time in my life i could feel my legs were cold.  i've always had skin feeling but not muscle.  i'm having the same symptoms as 1972.  exactly the same.  my hair is so greasy i shampooed after going to nob hill.  i bought hamburger, 3 cheese i have a new favorite buttery muenster, lettuce, asparagus 1 lb i cooked in sesame oil and seeds and ate with 4 slices of muenster.  so good.

 wof-a blooming orchid

just before the rain

i shopped saratoga lucky and bought sesame oil i love the stuff.  tossed garbage.  i spent the morning sorting cards and stickers.  and pondering my life.  it's been too cold to do much else.  the damp seems colder.  i've had more lucid dreams of making new friends.  

wrote my dental insurance check with apology note for my scribbles trying to pay online.  which means finding something to write on, stamp and return sticker.  writing out check. and to mail it.  many steps to accomplish.

i still have home insurance.  april prop tax.  

i'm such a serious responsible child.  always have been from necessity.  i put out bins.  

i seem to be done watching simpsons.  8 i decided on schs.  

and my eyebrows itch

woke twice at 3 and 6.  i'm feeling better.  when i was sick the world seemed so far away.  now i can focus and everything is present.  all my childhood was spent hiding from my family to avoid abuse.  all a child needs to physically survive is attention.  that electrical exchange is necessary for sustenance.  ignorance is death.  john donne 'no man is an island' new meaning without attention children waste away and die like a dead battery.  abuse is tolerated as a less desirable form of attention.  that's why some people seek out abuse.  any attention is necessary for life.  attention is an anchor to life.  any and every life lost is a missing piece in the universal tapestry.

subconsciously people know this.  that's why abuse, bullying is allowed.  goodness is perceived as weakness.  wrong.  the good are internally so much stronger than the bullies.  bullies are chaff the wind blows away.  

trump is an attention seeking black hole.  he does and says anything to attract energy.  he's an energy vampire sacrificing others to stay alive.   

12;20 am lucid dream of alien and x in posh motel resort.  she wants me to wear her shoes walk her walk.  i refuse poisoned life force her to walk her choice.  i'm strong, pick her up by her ankles, put her shoes on her feet.

toki left me quarter of pudding cake.

she's so thoughtful and generous.  i hope she wins big.  maybe find her true love.  i was going to safe way now i don't have to go.  i have my good sisters toke and cathy.  

i started cleaning clearing hallway and found brand new cd/dvd player still in box.  i think an mp3 player too.  tiny pocket kaiser pad i think had a pen.  

arrived seniors 10;32 #8 and it was so nice i walked and stretched.  then it started sprinkling like 'hi' now it's pouring.  well, my car will get washed.   and it's 50 o lovely cool.  rice and chicken not good not bad.  sadly beans are best part.  

it's cloudy rains, clears sun shines, over and over.

i keep having to reminding myself two fingers will move page up or down.

laid back my eyes don't get blurry.  the additional pain in my back stresses my eyes.  my sit bones are sore.

i'm so glad i filled tank before rain.  it's coming down steadily now.  

home by 3 for 'love boat'.  put weekend food away.  ate chicken mac salad.  arms are sore.  feeling so tired from hanging clothes yesterday.  i did it too late.  i needed more time to recover before bed.  i cooked grits added amino.  

wof/collette-joining a band

biden first day

1/21/21.  aces and deuces.  

sitting computing laff laundry one handed.  washed easy.  back after lunch to dry bedding.

picked up ok lunch.  they ran 15 minutes late removing stewed tomatoes.  i didn't get replacement.

dried and did my computing.  home 2;30 hung clothes watched love boat.

good day.  

reading 'happy brain' explains so much.  the basics of human behavior.  why we do what we do.  and better how to change.  keep the good release the bad.  from a chimpanzee perspective my family was successful.  

wof-my humble abode

life the big ole experiment

got stuck in a loop when i changed date to tomorrow.  i had to reset to automatic because it wouldn't let me change it back manually.  there that worked.

i can view only one blog at a time.  it switches.  i still don't know what happened to spell check.

heaven is feeling perfect contentment.  listening to healing sitting in afternoon spot on monroe.  i loaded laundry in car and computer etc in trunk.  detoured and got gas remembered brita filters, supplement, hot dog. got my 2 cups soda.  put first in aarp travel mug.  walked back for refill.  parked on monroe afternoon spot to compute.

lunch good today.  nice size square of tamale pie, cauliflower, zucchini.  tygj senior center.   back to monroe.  doing my computing listening to healing.  i'm re programming the years of family influences.  one of the family fears is abandonment.  i was always abandoned and betrayed.  i survived.  i can leave them behind.

wof-i am overjoyed

blustery day

 trump's treason is blowing away.  

yesterday's chili's crispy chicken tenders were sooo salty barely able to eat them.  leftover ok.  perfect breakfast.  same amount of salt but soaked into meat.  

i'm getting back to me.  mom freaked over everything autistic.  maybe she was projecting her self hatred.  she always over reacted the world would end but not until she killed me first.  i could care less bins not picked up.  i put them in shade for next week.  so i'm ready for next week.

i  don't know why builders don't automatically put a concrete walk around perimeter of house.  and a patio for outside facing doors.  doesn't make sense to me.  illogical.  cheap.

some of my best thoughts are early morning and i think if i close blog the night before, open new and edit date later that should work.  i do miss being able to ramble.  and online.   

if the weather's like this tomorrow i want to launder.  i like the sense of community without conversation at the laundromat. 

what a day 77 o

i slept in and took out bins 12;30 and they'd already 'bin'.  i'm reading 'look'.  

i got home 3;45 with froze peas and 4 bags $5 monday blue diamond almonds.  

well, washed my hair 11 am aired out bathroom.  little by little i'm cleaning and clearing.  that's how i put out bins as i was leaving for seniors to stretch.  2 boys using equipment until 1;20 time for me to go dr.  considered rushing before appointment but no.  too much like life with mom.  i remembered and looked campbell nob hill none left.  jetted to s c and last 4 flavored.  

reception not good so i may forgo computing games.  i may be here a couple hours who knows.

got my free kid's meal chili's.  took half hour since i had to reset pass.  so $14.  

wof-focus your mind

channel 5 reception cutting out.   

did my walk

and stretched thorough popping and cracking and tomorrow m l k holiday and Dr Massih.  computing at seniors listening to healing.  i watched half of cesar and decided it was time to move.  

just received 22 min call from Cathy in Hawaii.  she's doing so much better health wise.  prayer always works.  her sister is nice to her too.  when she didn't respond to my voice mail last November i didn't know what happened to her if she'd had another stroke or what.  she wrecked her car and was taking senior car services for $2 a day.  Hawaii has great senior programs.  too bad it's so hot and humid.  with covid no beaches.

bit by bit i'm cleaning up this place.  i'm taking more clothing into corner bedroom.  it used to be so hard for me to get around.  i'm better able.  i'm finishing little sewing projects.  i found the poncho i crocheted with the beret.  it's already hot here.  76 o today.  glad i have cooling scarves.  

nothing on tv tonight.  i saw most of jamie and reception cut out so i watched the end of love boat.  i started watching marlena dietrich collection.  cary grant looks weird in blond venus.  like he had plastic surgery.

i wanted and went

$tore finally had m wash.  walked the store.  i was on the way went walmart paid pge.  walked store.

99 on san carlos i bought squash, parsley plant i'll re pot, celery sticks only available charged 1.99, pineapple pin.  

10 am parked seniors stretched real good.  right arm hand throbbing using left.

flashback; car just backfired past d k w reminded me one time alien forced me to drive her 4 speed stick car in jefferson jr school parking lot.  i drove it better she never took me again.

home 1 pm after computing major low sugar i'm trembling.  ate mac cheese feeling stronger.  put everything away.

i'm sore

and feeling ok.  my back is so sore from the organizing i did.  it's to be as hot as yesterday.

i rested watching 'mr lucky' cary grant movie gamblers and gangsters.  dark serious movie.  i thought i missed something as a child but no it was just as dark and serious as i remembered.  it's considered a comedy because after the turmoil and strife the antihero gets the girl.  crazy adults.  

my stomach still queasy from yesterday over doing just a tad.  at least i remembered my vitamin c candies.  1972 i lived on lemon drops for a month after i slipped on the icy wood stairs when i hurt my tailbone almost knocked myself out.  i didn't go to the doctor i didn't have time with work, school, newly married.  at first i only felt nausea.  when i did go to the doctors (4) the last one said i had a cyst and wanted to do exploratory surgery without any idea of what was causing symptoms that traveled and i didn't connect them with a spinal injury so i never mentioned the fall.  

just occurred to me to use shower curtains as door insulators.

news showing dc under siege national guard positioned to protect capitol.  trump has turned america into a third world nation.  a third rate country.  it took him 4 years to destroy the united states.  to resurrect the second uncivil war.  i never could tolerate calling the war that almost destroyed america civil.  spawned assassination.  trump wants the south to rise again.  he sees non whites and women as slaves.  he consistently cheats everyone.  no one is safe.  

wof-pair of chopsticks

car #7-127 mi.

oh my aching back.  there seems to be so much of it.  when it hurts it feels huge.  i washed my hair and it was the easiest yet.

75 o.  i want to go and do.  i can fold laundry.  lots to do at home.

such a diverse day.  i cooked mac cheese tuna.  it's better with yellow mustard.  folded and put away clothes.  reading 'look me in the eye' john elder robinson.  i find it filled with pain.  sublimated excruciating pain.  he was horribly abused.  he like me was able to survive because autism allows compartmental sublimation.  attention deficit i didn't focus on the abuse.  unlike me his parents took him for help.  my parents were too selfishly self centered to think of me.  

wof-good buddies

car # 5

did my stretching good popping and crackling.  fed crows some crackers.  carried them away.

going to attempt online.  new puzzling icons on desktop.  gave it my best shot 35 minutes trying to register blue anthem.  2 security phone codes.  done for today.  i was successful anthem grocery.  feeling tired. 

left sit bone sore.  right hip clicking.  sitting in the car for 2 hours computing is hard on my back.  lying in the living room was better but i'll wait for better reception.  everything changes.

i'm puttering sorting through greeting cards and stickers makes me happy.   i opened goat cheese added to veg and noodles.  finished cheese lasagna lunch.  i do love dairy.  

watching 'a delicate balance'.  katherine hepburn, paul scofield, lee remick, joseph cotton. i usually hate talky movies but this acting is excellent.  spellbinding.  

wof-local hobby shop

10;40 #12 car

seniors did my stretches.  ate my lunch i prefer dry chicken.  i don't like slimy anything.  

looking online theories that trump planned the pandemic to attempt to weaken america for takeover.  Trump's Planned Demic.  i don't believe he's that smart or disciplined.

wow, the internet is entertaining.  amazing.

i started organizing the hall pantry.  i stopped and rested.  hurrah me!!  not obsessing is hard and i did it.  i sat and folded laundry, went through some cards for della's birthday.  

i cooked whole wheat pasta containing quinoa.  so good with madras lentils.  2 helpings and one potato.  

wof-'making it happen' fills me with anxiety.

oh, aspergers.

my alarms ringing off the hook.  i went and washed at laffayette.  waiting in lunch line i remembered i still needed x ray tried calling spine dr again no answer.   voice mail full.  so i called dr chung said authorization not needed and i could go any valley radiology.  i called ciro radiology walk ins from 8-5 so i went with 4 duplicates from dr massih spine and id and done by 1;30.  terry the tech put me at ease.  

came home hung clothes took an hour. 38 pair of socks.  cooked potato and yam with cheese.  delicious.  had bagel with ham.  if i'm mobile tomorrow i want to wash bed linens.  

wheel of fortune.  jeopardy ken jennings was ok.  a bit nervous.  i feel good with good old wheel.  i feel reassured.  and all's right in the world.   i'm feeling so grateful.

wof-a wild buffalo

terrible two's are when survival of self is learned.  the first time a child knows it's separate from mother and other's fulfilling it's wants and needs.  the first time unmet wants are recognized.  when experimentation on how to manipulate to gain wants begins.   

hooray!!

despite channel 5.3 spotty reception.  couldn't finish watching all jamie last night and none of cesar this morning.  i did watch sunday morning in kitchen.  i spent time trying for reception moving antenna.  what a workout.  i can always watch you tube at the high school.

i think i've figured a way of blogging without internet.  we'll see.  ok i have another post but how to open two at the same time?  it refuses.  it resets to 'view blog'.  oh, well i'm not transcribing.

i'm sitting at park after stretching.  didn't seem to need it.  i spent the morning puttering.  adjusting little things in my life like removing scratchy collar labels, cooking veg omelette, etc.  i ate whopper for breakfast.  it looked too big and was just right.  i cooked veg omelette /cheese for lunch.

i'm loving sitting here getting my vitamin d watching people in the park exercising my eyes.  at home i used the tv to refocus when i had internet reception.  coming to the park is more social.  i'm playing scratch, lotto and word finder.  i finally realized to use my right hand to search and my left to press to avoid imbalance.

i shall endeavor to watch 'earth sea' in kitchen since living room reception poor.  hope i don't fall asleep.  4 hours parts 1 and 2.

repurpose

i brought one of the wire shelves from the car for over the microwave and cleaned.  looks good.  i looked in the pantry for black olives and found a spoiled can of yams.  cleaned it up in a jiffy.  i have water, spam, lots of non sugar.  besides misc.

for breakfast i cooked quick mac penne 2 servings by the time i added diced celery, tuna, grated carrots, mayo, mustard seasoning.  so quick and easy.  i wanted black olives.  green olives not today.  i prefer with spaghetti. i forgot leftover cooked vegs from senior lunch.  oh, what to do?  soup?  pasta?  omelette?  i'm using the jerky and dried fruit i bought on sale and put away.  i'm soaking raw almonds.  

2 pm and i'm still computing.  scratch path.  haven't done quiz yet.  

3;30 to b king that's what i want.  i bought the nestle pie alright.  6 pm jamie 15 min meals.  

new things

$tore 10 am velcro phone purse,  50 cent duster trashed box, fish oil, 3 chips, black marker, 2 c candy, pads.  cost exactly $10.

remembered smart final 2 chocolate quick , corn muffin mix.  

seniors lunch saw bea.  online listened healing while eating.  free drink lucky's 3 oxygen, pearl olive $1 off $8 exactly.

looked at safe way $5 friday.  home stead not my almond flavors.  i looked up black forest at walmart and safe way had it.  a lot to put away.  i considered going to maria not worth it.  

wof-a word puzzle

at some point i want ham, pineapple, mushroom, black olive pizza.  

i'm watching 'mr. mayor' set in l a.  is strangely unsatisfactory.    

2;25 cup lib

i went to seniors park 9;30 stretched.  the teeth clean fluoride.  back to seniors 10;47.  ate lunch computed.  it occurred to me i could return and pick up county after silicon glasses pick up.  returned home got 9 dvds.  drove long way to $v walked store.  40 minutes early glasses.  checked out smart and final out of choc quick sale $6.99 no idea if more.  back way from cup safe way so much better. went hollenbeck/stelling to sprouts.  walked store had zoom frankinscense/myrrh $5.  i still have 4.  recommended for asp aromatherapy.  arrived library 2;25.  dropped returns forgot 'green lights.'

sunny smart is so much nicer.  if i remember i'll check s c.  i can do laundry whatever i want.  

wanted and ate chili potato corn.  black forest gummy for dessert i fell asleep for an hour woke up 7;30.  having what i want is so satisfying.  happy baby.

wof-we quickly found out

celebrity wof bonus-a long vacation.  #2 $10 k-toilet paper airplane.

                      #2-fried calamari

tony hawk looks like 'if you could see what i hear.'

what a tv night!

epiphany-new behaviors

i'm at the high school.  well slow internet better than none.  must be a lot of people online in this neighborhood.  this page keeps resetting to normal from paragraph.  too cramped.  

i'm sitting schs.  going by way of pomeroy less than 2 mi.  maybe going twisty turning is longer even though it's more of a diagonal.  

arrived seniors 10;30 car #8.  better reception.  able to do my games.  blogging is ok.  maybe uses less bandwidth.  i'm loving sitting in the car eating my lunch listening to kelly howell healing.  i found half hour healing depression.

eating with the family was always tense.  criticizing my eating too much too little how i eat.  aughh...  no wonder i looked anorexic.  not good for digestion.  

now i know why i misplaced coffee filters.  cut in half they work great in masks.  i have a lot i kept buying.  i must try it with quinoa washing.  

i put in prayer request.  i need help.

i have a hard time believing yesterday compared to today.  i washed my hair and found misplaced small bead hematite cheap star necklace hanging on fixture.  my inspiration for the 2 i made.  

i called made appointment to pick up glasses tomorrow 1 pm.  adc cleaning 10 am. 

yesterday jeopardy and wheel were preempted by senate hearings and today trump's racist bully boys attacked washington and i can't believe the response.  it's like a tv show.  a continuation of trump's tv show.  at least i got to watch jeopardy and wheel an hour later.  i don't know.

wof-fudge popsicle

frozen chrome

it's taken me 'til 2 to get back online.  i got home from seniors noon.  called justin voice mail.  central talked to cody called tech support call me back.  i was afraid screen would burn.  you tube kelly played closed lid at home.  just kept repeating.  i plugged in mouse to try to move cursor nothing.  attempted shut down.  it worked.  whew!!  too much drama.

i turned it back on.  i drove s c h s 2 mi for ok reception reset some tabs.  i forgot to renew county no fines due to virus. 

being a child without cares.

i've always worried for my survival.  my aspergers was masked to protect myself.  mom always told me i walked and talked so late my heart condition made me retarded.  she told everybody big gossip that she was.  

better late chidhood than never.  i am afraid i may lose attention like december paying disc late because for some strange reason i wrote 23rd on calendar when it's always been 21st.  i paid 48 minutes late.  i blessed the $29 and 12/30 received $600 stimulus direct deposit.

i put out bins suveyed yard.  pretty good.   

i called carlos for appointment and he said today 1;15 or so.  done.  i forgot about depositing pers.  i went to lucky's bought gift card oxigen paid citibank.

as i was walking my trash back to center gerda pulled up.  she hasn't been coming.  i offered a menu and then remembered she can sign up and get one from staff.  i told her to park inside and sent menu lady to her car.  done and done.

carlos faster and still cost way less than eric.  like 1/5.  half hour i went deposit credit union 10 minute line.  and now main computing and reading.  very slow net.  couldn't do scratch or games or quiz.  wouldn't connect.  

came home caught last 10 minutes love boat.  made noodles forgot about soup i opened i'll have breakfast.  opened can pulled pork just like fish.  chopped lettuce.  sesame.  i love it.

put away bins.  

i must let go to live my life-diaeresis-noel coward

i spent 2 days reading on noel.  imbd quotes he says english requires or his name would be pronounced 'nool'.  i don't know.  umlaut.  i'll look it up.

i've never had a life before.  feels weird.  i drove to sunnyvale tracing my old path and letting go.  i walked g2 safeway, $v, maria safeway then drove to compute.

i'm at main park.  even this is subject to change.  i may go to fremont park to stretch i don't know.  i rather enjoy sitting in the car with sun shades peeking at passers by.  and sitting in the car bucket seat helps remind me to wiggle and stretch my back.  and exercise my eyes.  probably the leading cause of vision decrease is lack of exercise.

i get so sleepy typing.  maybe from feeling relaxed.  no where to go nothing imperative to do.  maybe the secret on you tube playing.  nap attack.

suddenly 3 pm.  i'm feeling so relaxed.  i reclined one click stretched my back and i was out.  

2 new emails.  junk mail.  

home 4pm started fettucine cooking.  chopped watercress put in botttom of bowl topped with hot drained noodles.  1 small can tuna and water.  dollop wasabi from friday $5 sushi.  sprinkle braggs amino perfect.  so good and satisfying.  

at the park.

a little later than i planned.  did my walk and stretch.  dropped off life insurance post office to chase withdrawal.  on to credit union closed saturdays now.  safe way nothing i can use.  time to library. returned 12, mary, noel, all dvd and teach book.  picked up 2 books 10 dvd.  fill gas light came on went to costco.  very busy but only took 10 minutes.  

drove home and remembered i wanted to compute more and drove to main.  lovely cool overcast day.  listened to kelly howell.  got home 5 pm.

covid silver lining no crowds traffic.  i have time to obssess autism research.

best dinner yet.  cooked linguine in 'pasta and more' 16 min while i washed watercress lettuce.  put cress in bowl, hot noodles drizzled sesame oil, sprinkled seeds, sliced ham peas heated 77 sec.  so delicious.  watched jamie 15 min meals.  first commercial put donut in toaster oven.  crispy crunchy outside moist fluffy inside.  i'm feeling guilty i'm doing well.  

the limit of not being able to use computer connection at home is good self awareness practice.  staying conscious.  

new year

whew!  never thought i'd live so long.  doing my computing senior center because the park has right equipment.  auto update before publish.  after manual update.

i'm more alive than i've ever been.

4 pm i'm parked st just in the shade with signal hurrah!!  what an adventure.  

        sc dollar tree, seniors for computer, couldn't hang bull dog man hogging bars, college safe way sushi and iceberg, going to walmart i realized i was close to san carlos 99 cent 2-4 socks inoki mushroom watercress 6/$2.99 buttermilk donuts.  then sj dollar tree xmas half off 2-4 pot holders small storage 'joy' box minions chimney sock 3 chips, walmart 2 boxes gum 89 cent box 10 dark chocolate cherries.  

looked on tv guide.  2 extra jeopardy 4 pm home.  put everything away.  toasted donut yummy.  

i'm still looking for tiger tail to string hematite.  good day.