let go let God

much less anxiety. 

progress

i forgot they cleaned the women's showers at 24, well they changed it  and i had the whole place to myself.  i drove to lucky's and walked the store, no chocolate cake.  on to sunny lib i dropped off a movie and book.  i don't have to stay.  i checked out Sprouts 4 99 cent chips 2 coco drinks.  dollar tree i bought Sunday paper and cruet.  at nob i updated chrome weather and air.  most delicious espresso mixer a dollar, hazel nuts $5.  home by 11:30 for a delicious homemade salad.  snacking on nuts.  

i took out the kitchen garbage full of fruit flies.  i considered Safeway eggs and paying Costco but i'm pacing myself.  i filled gas in car yesterday morning it's the same distance to the seniors.  i'm getting a lot done and feeling better.  i'm learning to pace myself.

i'm on an artificial caffeine high from espresso.  caffeine energy in lots of drinks makes people think they have more energy when they're just drugging themselves.  speed.  i super glued broken eyeglasses and hummingbird wind chime.  i cleaned up the broken plant pot on the porch.  then i rested.  i'm learning to pace myself.  

we may be the last generation to enjoy a democracy

trump sue took down the Ukraine benefit sign.  she wants a dictatorship starring trump.   Putin takes Ukraine like Hitler took Poland.  world war 3 maybe.  Trump will betray America like everyone in his life.  i feel badly for children and immigrants.  they came to escape terrorists and Trump uses fear, threats and terror to control his mob.  hopefully i'll be dead soon.  after 2 Bushes and Trump i'm tired of the fear tactics.  i'm emotionally drained.

or it could be the 75 bad air.  giving me sinus headache.  haven't had in a long time.  

i see the little ones at the library and hope they'll solve global warming.  caused by Texas oil men's greed no one seems concerned we're killing the planet ergo ourselves.  fossil fuels have poisoned the planet and funded middle eastern terrorists.  America's manufactured need for oil created the wealth of Dubai.  a need generated by capitalism.  Henry Ford wanted to run cars on soy bean oil diesel fuel but there wasn't enough money or exclusivity in it to overcome Texas greed.  

well parents are allowing kids to grow without direction.  so maybe it's just the end.  my parents let us run wild so my sisters and most of the world is selfishly concerned only with what they want.  i saw it in my family.  i was the only one concerned with recycling.  they want to trash the planet make it someone else's problem until it impacts their life.  it may be too late.  

i drove to Ukraine benefit cancelled so proceeded to St Just lunch and weekend.  having holiday sale everything $ so my 10 donation i spent on Christmas presents.  in fact i found 11 and left my money home was going to put one back white woman gave me an early gift.  maybe a little hope.

the world was built on the backs of minority women.  we did the work while men took credit and cash.

lovely lunch

i drove to both lucky's and Walmart.  i'll have to check back for shakes.  i got beets.  don't seem to do anything but delicious.  i do love beets.  i bought peach and box felt light.  when i checked in car 2 were empty.  i took it back and they reversed the charge.  

seniors i feel a success filled day.  and i remembered the lotion.  i washed a blue bag with a spilled smoothie.  lots of dye.  today i put it in the wringer.  i didn't yesterday when i washed it out.  i forgot about it 'til today.  i rinsed it again.  

i wonder about some people being sight impaired or just plain rude.  they charge around like they own everything.  

toddler dreams

clear as the full moon.   i'm resolving past issues.  

no bingo size today and Cody bookmobile out sick too.  lunch ok Diana gave me 15 game pieces inspired me, i haven't been playing.  i gave her Cody's avocados.  i considered going home early after cup pick up.  feels too rushed.  i'm taking it easy.  tomorrow shopping.

i printed directions to Saturday Ukraine benefit 11-2.  

dreams all night

I awoke at 6:30 and here i am at seniors.  childhood fear has been bubbling up.  instilled and installed by family to manipulate and control.  the only power bullies have is the past.  

trump uses it to perfection with his minions.  unlike Gru in Despicable Me trump hates and despises his mob.  he didn't have the nerve to lead his January 6 insurrection.  bully and coward.  and his dummies didn't have the brains to figure out if he had a leg to stand on.  they must be loyal to trump like family at all cost.  even betraying democracy.  he's their family.  he's smart enough to use them until they figure it out and turn on him.  he probably has an escape plan like his many bankruptcies.  he always has an escape plan.  

Hilde had gallons of warm chick rice from yesterday.  i got 4 cups and today's tomato soup for dinner and tomorrow's b'fast.

met a Nancy newcomer concerned by Diana's Harangue.  she knew Diana voted for Trump.

I arrived 6:55

it's amazing how many are already here.  still dark.  i soaked for an hour and half.  puzzled new one Indigenous People.  

lunch OK i finally remembered oranges and pears for Toki.  Fred is faithful.  Jane still in a snit at lunch and bingo size.  she sat by herself claiming she needed the room.  

bingo size i'm part of the group.  some won 3-4 times i won once.  90 degrees at 3 pm straight to main.  84 parking.  only 6 degrees such a vast difference.  i knew bad air when i woke wheezing.  

maybe I'll do my medicals

it's a drag.  like it's up to the oldies to support the medical just because they think they can intimidate us with death.  so we're going to die, everyone does.  going to doctors may prolong our lives.  if i can be happier great.  guilt-ing me won't work.  

i finished puzzle.  afternoon i navigated the web.  i finally printed a good map and directions to scc Records 110 W Tasman at 5:30.  i'm persistent.  

perfect sat hot tub 98

soaked 'til 9:30 then on to main library book sale.  no Tina  so i walked and the on to st just for lunch and weekend bag.  from there on to sunny library book sale and drop off pick up.  puzzled for a bit at both.  feeling satisfied.  checked out Sprouts.  home i cooked potatoes water soaked as experiment.    delicious with prepared tuna.  feasting like a queen.  

got my free pop well 12 0z

and 2 clearance salads + $ reward $1.03 saving 92%.  woo hoo!!

don't have to be rich to live richly.  

found oranges at home

4 pm new Jeff at the library helped me find my snack bag i put them in.  he's diabetic hadn't eaten i gave him dried cherries. hazelnuts, a senior apple.  i gave him the 4 small meals a day lecture and mom's emergency gall bladder surgery.  i looked up his name means God's Pledge of Peace.  

i love love love bingo size.  the exercise and music makes the hour go quickly.  prizes are given at the end of 10 weeks.  Tu-Th 1:30-2:30.  my shoulders are sore.   

i'll start DMV tomorrow.  one new thing a day.  issued 9/5 dad's death day.

i forgot yesterday's wheel so i'll wait 'til i can enter today's bonus puzzle.  

don't know what i did with oranges-Fred's b'day

i saved 2 for Toki yesterday she went for Dim Sum lunch.  Fred ate his.  Walter seems to be doing better fulfilling lunch requirement for gas stipend. 

It occurred to me i can put old ID on my gym case.  nothing sticks to it.  

i ate a little granola and my beet candy for b'fast.  as long as i keep moving i'm not hungry.  we'll see how it works.  i'm taking my vitamins at bedtime this week.  

it was difficult getting to wheel page.  it didn't want to load.  

i told Toki i had a box fruit in trunk and she suggested getting it after her work out into her car.  i offered to bring it in to share.  nope.  today Wednesday i'm chilling so i agreed.  

after lunch Marie at puzzle table haranguing Francine trying to sort pieces while Marie has her stuff on a third of the table.  and Mark totally bored on his phone finally leaves.  took me an hour to figure out Marie was competing for Mark.  trying to show up Francine and impress Mark.  so high school.  

i was thinking of Toki looked over the balcony and she was waking in so i met her downstairs and she carried the box to her car.  done and done.

Fred's b'day jokes i made up:  73 is the new dyslexic 37.  AND who's happier bunnies or kangaroos?  kangaroos are hoppier.

home 3:30 pm i finally received DMV letter DL renewal and real ID fewer documents required.  i'll have library help me.  Charlotte called me back 5:06 pm phones open 'til 5:30 Sacramento.  

7:16

i forgot to take my vitamins.  eh, i remembered i forgot that's good.  Progress not perfection.  i'm thinking of taking them at bedtime.  i ate beets.  

tub was 98 degrees.  so relaxing.  hour and half.  then online.  stinky man shouting in computer room.  i left 11.  lunch ok i remembered no Toki to Dim Sum with Jane.  i saw Jane at bingo exercise said it was ok 3 people ditched.  half dozen ditched class i was ignored.  Mallory offered to walk me in or i could start fresh Thursday i opted to wait.  i mailed monopoly 73 cents and checked out Secret and Daily Ukulele and LP Love Tina.  

i met Mariah and self named Violet at puzzle table.  she loves him a lot and he's dismissive toward her.  lack of vitamins making me tired.  

woke 6:30

dark and cool.  i made eggs with tomato sauce and Swiss cheese.  i was here at seniors 7:18 after picking up fruit.  i didn't think i just followed spirit.

tub was wonderful.  i stayed in hour and half.  lunch with Fred and Toki.  i was still full from b'fast.  brought it home 12:30 for Love Boat and game shows.  

adapting, adjusting

everything all at once.  overwhelming.   9 am gym shower, 9:30 on the road looked for cup sprouts gone.  i never saw inside.  it was during the pandemic, long lines, no parking.  and now it's gone.  

arrived 5 minutes to spare, sat in car.  returned 7 items.  and i found 7 items.  i traded Rocky and Bullwinkle for King of Queens.  i ate the Friday freebie Built Puff is chocolate covered marshmallow.  

left noon made salad with voyage seed butter carrot vinegar dressing.  and chips.  nothing better than what you want when you want it.

library reorganized movies second floor.  so i relaxed.  

life can be so good.

seniors 8:14 am

sprouts clearance turkey sandwich for lunch.  i remembered art wine in the park to avoid area.  lovely tub warmer.  smells smoky everywhere.

11 am sunnyvale i ate half sandwich.  5 am shake wasn't enough today.  i remembered wheel game.  i'm happy listening to healing music.  1:30 break time.  brake time.  just a tinge of punishment fear.

i looked up Joel Kupperman from Rocky And Bullwinkle.  he was a famous child genius on Quiz Kids.  you never know what you'll learn from cartoons.

6:59 am seniors-Gondola

i'm feeling enthusiastic despite my situation.  maybe because the master bath faucet finally works well.  when Della's David changed 2 faucets and one trap pipe for $700 the bath faucet dribbled.  i asked if he could turn it up he refused so for years i put up with the dribble.  i used the wrench to change the aerator and it flows.  the original faucet aerator must have been old or mineral stopped up or something.  maybe previously used.  and now it works.

I asked for help and copied the $25 monopoly letter and envelope.  

Mexicola avocados planted fruit after 3-4 years not 10.  I finally remembered to research.  10 years ago when i looked only Hass and 10 year wait for fruit.  

Ryan Seacrest is so prejudiced.  he so obviously preferred the white woman.  the asian man and black woman were so dissed.  73 years of personal experience tells me so.  subtle and obvious.  

live, love, laugh and be happy

Diana gave me a bag of bagels.  i gave half to Cody with ripe avocados and 2 apples.  a bag of ripe to Diana.  

happy day

playing on puzzle.   i watched the "debate" last night Trump performing like a trained seal.  tooting his horn encourages his followers to fill in the blanks however they choose.  America loves actors.  unfortunately most are ignorant posers.  too lazy to do a real job.  or handicapped like Bill Nighy.  Trump puts the fun in funeral.  he has no respect for life.  

i entered monopoly and "won" $25 after jumping through hoops.  i have to mail in to be verified.  wow, a lot of work, make a copy, fill out form.  certified mail suggested costs $3.15, go to post office.  

i didn't charge it went down to 7 % and wiped everything

and i'm ok.  i recovered settings easily.  hour and half water massage.  i considered fraud and scam presentation and my health is number one.

and 3 pm quitting time.  1500 piece Alan Maley 1931-1995 impressionistic painting puzzle.

Cooking Swaps:  1/4 c. plain applesauce, mashed banana=1 large egg                               1/2 cup plain applesauce=1 c. butter  

sunny library

nothing is attractive.   I showered at 24 forgot my neckerchief in shower went back.  9 am packed.  64% humidity air conditioning is great.  maybe a car is too confining.  not enough circulation.

4 pm 79 degrees I can go home

feel it to heal it

I didn't know what I wanted to do.  I dressed still having no idea. iv'e gotten dressed and gone back to bed before.  I drank a shake and ate chips.  tv forecast 88 degrees starting to warm up.  I chose not to endure heat.  next where.  cup, city or sunny.  I decided to let the car take me.  I picked up 2 dozen fruit.  so humid I was sweating or having a heart attack.  54%.  divine order daily word day.

I drove to 24 hour fitness only parking way in back shaded by giant van.  I showered, stretched, weighed the same soaking wet and on to Lucky's tuna creations.  gave me one free.  checked out big lots and decided to walk around back of complex.  pleasant.  shady.

leisurely drive to St J and Charity gave me lunch and weekend bag with more tuna creations.  cafe by back door steady stream of visitors.  very nice.

i'm feeling sad.  I can feel sad anywhere.  central closes at 4.  I can go be sad by myself or another place.

city closed Monday admission I can go county and sunny open.

1:30 got everything done

9 am at 24 fitness second parking spot.   forgot my bath towel used face cloth to dry.  straight to lucky's free Starkist beef single serve.  I bought 4 reg Lay's chips 10 tickets.  then picked up bottles at Inge's and proceeded to seniors.  lunch ok Fred was there before me.  nice to have someone else save our seats.  I took my time and got a partial extra lunch for my dinner.  67% humidity.  drove directly to recycle 16 minutes $10.  Sprouts more clearance.  

parked under central.  feet up relaxing.  

sugar from beet gummy makes me sleepy.  and berberine doesn't seem to do anything for me.  so I can save myself some money to be spent on other things.  

i'm feeling.  

8:45 instant parking.-25 years to resolve internal conflict

dad's death day.

everyone at 24 fitness on a phone .  

air not good 8 am and getting worse.  67 degrees projected 90.  

actually 92 degrees at 5 pm i remembered clearance 99 cent 18 oz watermelon chunks in trunk.  so perfect.  and eating clearance kid's meal also from Sprouts.  $3.50 for small turkey sandwich, chips, apple sauce, water, cookie.

24 at 9 am

parking was better than at 8.  35% humidity makes it seem even hotter.  I'm so grateful for air conditioning.  bad air day I can smell smoke.  

I decided to go to sunny Costco for gasoline but tanker blocking lanes and a snarled mess.  detoured to SC 4.2 miles drove in filled up.  10:21 senior center I parked in shade and organized bills.  no extra lunch.  Fred offered to buy me ice cream $1 a scoop.  I suggested we three split one he wanted his own and Toki had in her freezer.  I deflected to Joanne who needs it.  a good time was had by all.  on to sprouts and main library.

the berberine and beet chews seem to help my energy.  I don't know.

internet must be heavy traffic.  extremely slow.  gives me time to consider.  

I just figured out I'm a messy 73 teen-2 days free

24 hour gym internet.  I never had the freedom to just be.  my life was scrutinized, their job to make me miserable.  so now i'm being the teenager.  I still have too many responsibilities.  today chase, Walmart, seniors.  maybe library.  or do nothing at home.  hmm...  projected 94 degree day.  I have tuna noodle in trunk.

mission library 195.8 miles 10:17

*1 193.8 miles deposit

walmart 192.5 miles -a reds, gluco gold, beets

Chase flora vista 189.5 miles withdrawal

lucky gym 189 miles

so far so good.  remembered to mail life insurance.  on to seniors.

listening to healing i could do it all day all night.  SCORED LEFTOVER LUNCH.  Sprouts sweet orange jerky 99 cents 16 left.  under the main library 82 degrees.  91 outside.  AIR quality unhealthy making me sneeze.

smelling smoke feeling congested glad i have nicotine.  fire with fire.