I'll try again

Sunday I remembered Church in the park at 9 am.  I hadn't decided to go until 10 I suddenly dressed, loaded extra pantry food in car and arrived shortly after 10:30 start time.  remarkably well done.  the service was mostly live music with lyrics.  my karaoke church.  

lunch at noon choice of hot dog or chicken I couldn't decide and had dog without bun.  relish and grain mustard was perfect with bow tie pasta salad diced cucumber, tomatoes, cheese Italian dressing.  games of kids sack race, ladies spoon, team tug of war reminded me of Hawaii county fair games and malasadas.  oh so good.  

90 degrees I decided a shower would be nice.  I considered libraries.  I took my time checked big lots 99 cent shelves a mess.

they taught me to be powerless

I'm changing the program.  Sprouts clearance turkey sandwich $1.99.  i ate half so full multi grain romaine lettuce tomato sliced roasted turkey.  I gave half to Sydney.  I puzzled, showered and puzzled more.  at 11 I drove to St Just for pantry.  Charity gave me lunch.  I so enjoyed the Cheetos.  I decided I can toss or share.

Bartolo had a yard sale when I drove by 7:30 am.  mostly tools.  

i'm actually enjoying myself.  I shared main puzzle with young female possible Asperger's.  we finished it.

doing what i want

5 bags of low salt Lay's potato chips.  Buy 2 get 3 free.  so 5 for $11.98 or $2.40 each.  I decided no Safeway Reser's salad.  college only had mac.

my allergies started when I started smoking at 18.  I unconsciously missed dad's second hand smoke.  I was forced out because I couldn't lie like my sisters.  so when my body detoxes i may not have allergies.  my sinuses are clearing.  

tv reception is terrible.  heat and shifting winds.  i searched online Car Pick for registration tags.  i went but they'd gone to the DMV.  it's a hidden paradise gem.  

practicing forgiveness

I forgive myself first.   auto update is on.

real freedom

I did afternoon swim.  different people to watch, more relaxed, 2 half hours.  I showered morning, lunched, puzzled and relaxed.  i'm flashing back to 2017-18.  

2's day

5 am sudden short downpour.  I went out to check windows up and used 5 bottles of water to wash off mud.

I found Saturday cherries in the trunk still good.  I didn't remember them.  I wondered what I did with them.   

and I noticed Bartolo took down the last of the front fence.  I must have been totally exhausted yesterday.  I got home at 3 pm.  just seniors and home.  my back has been excruciating like 1972.  

Fred has COVID.  I may have it and why my hip and back is crazy.  

90 degree day I picked up Peter rabbit 2 at mission and cooled it main.

6 pm.  time for home.  I brought cheese cubes and cocktail weenies for b'fast and snack.

nob hill 7 am

i'm feeling restless.  Walter is riled up.  I reminded him i'm here to relax.  every time he plays his tape he reinforces his tragedy.  relating facts without energy or with blessing rewrites the future.

Saratoga lucky's

I picked up my free drink and after walking store, 2 for 1 coconut water.  

seniors i showered then sprouts sandwich turkey sour dough $3.49, 99 cent oatmeal cranberry walnut cookies, half cherry pie, cheese sausage tray.  i'm a party.  

lunch at main, returned and renewed 2 books and chrome+ puzzled.  I found black backpack left on chair.  I reported to aide.  I don't want the responsibility.  

bad air makes me sleepy with a lack of oxygen and pollution.  I feel terrific in air conditioning.  I wonder if Walter is air conditioning.  I want a cookie.

4 pm main closed 75 degrees checked Cup movie hooray!!  79 degrees I returned and renewed Tina Turner.  I'm reading through fake book for ukulele.  Lennon McCartney the most songs written.  5:30 half the crowd left and I was getting hungry.  I wanted chef Boyardee.  I stopped at big lots.  what a mess.  I looked all over.  

my toddler self is hating everything

and most people.  i swung by sprouts and bought the last 2 CBD and clearance pretzel chips 2/$1.99 was miss priced but sold it to me and pulled the rest.   so i played on the puzzle table 'til 10 am soothing my inner toddler.  

6:40 am remembered petrol

I decided to try Santa Clara Costco.  easy drive up.  10 cents more than Sunnyvale.  I drove Martin ave past home Depot.  A good way to go to order water softener salt.  

i'm so proud of Walter.  he came to lunch again.  so far from his comfort zone.  he's taking it one day at a time.  

June barbecue lots of cafeteria fried rice leftover.  i ate at 3 pm.  ate gummy and napped an hour.  no games at 5 due to baseball.  oh, well.  

all the tv warnings about smoking = brain poison maybe kept dad stupid.  

sprout's CBD new 7 am open

new behavior.  I'm ok with it.  I'll try it tonight b4 bed.  time for the tub.  my hips feel so tight.  an hour.  lunch good picnic.  I like sliced cucumber in deli turkey sandwich.  Walter day 2 gave me fruit cup and potato salad.

checked holds pick up mission plan bookmobile no seniors.

home and rest 3 pm.

walter's b'day

he's mourning for Mini.  she's old and sick.  his first bantam hen.  they didn't sleep.  we sat downstairs for half an hour and she settled and breathed better.  I told him she's reacting to the smoke from 4 fires.  his agitation is an unconscious reaction to smoke pollution.  the body signals danger.  he went home for a nap.

i'm so proud and I told him.  he came back for lunch.  he's trying new behavior.  

noisy senior men-5 yrs smoke free

so good to enjoy the quiet upstairs puzzling.  noise signals the family is on the rampage creating anxiety.

the itching is the release of a lifetime of toxins.  my back and belly, legs, face, knee.  

24 hour-heavenly dad day

excellent sitting feet up, charging in corner.  and I can come anytime.  I updated blog, ignored wheel.  9 i went to Arby's to pick up 5/$5 no internet i walked to Safeway for internet.  i walked store for hour.  remodeled.  i picked up sandwiches and drove to mountain view Nob Hill.  huge farmers; market design.  i walked another hour.  i stopped at sunny sprouts cherry turnovers and cornbread.  home noon i ate 1 1/2 sandwich ready for 2 hour nap.  

I am content

I picked up freebie lucky's candy.  I remembered to moisturize after my shower.  Inge shared her new cheese coffee cake with me.  a new senior snack bar flavor.  

new behaviors for my new life.

I remembered to bring donut holes to share.  I decided to give Sydney the plumber's chain for his flash drive.  he likes it.  

Sprouts after lunch for CBD.  and pick up book at mission.

i survived another 6/12.  Vera's Will insists on asking stupid questions.  maybe dementia.  frustration gave her cancer.  hmm.  

father's day lunch w/Fred and Mike.  hot dog yum, chili weird, coleslaw ok.  I always have Costco.  

i'm binge watching 'Trolls Band Together'.  "you gotta work hard to make it look easy" is the story of my life.  people are always envious not willing to do the work themselves wanting it to rub off on them then getting upset when they remain the same.  i'm learning how families are supposed to behave.

2 hours to finish puzzle

prayer worked.  Sydney found his memory stick still in the college computer from the night before.  I sat finishing the puzzle and he came to tell me.  tygj.  I felt exhausted.  after resting I went to soak and worked out all my aches and pains.

good lunch.  Fred on time but Toki late.  Mike at Dr.'s.  Toki skipping senior lunch for friends.  

Sprouts 99 cent donut holes and 3 croissant, $10 6 taco meal.  I asked 2 people about CBD gummies i'll check tomorrow after 10.  

yesterday I couldn't access blog no internet today no problem.

I finished puzzle, I'm still signed into csc

PERFECT.  Mallory used table for new person while I used the computer room.  how PERFECT is that.  

Sydney misplaced his stick drive.  today's Daily Word Pray for others.

home 6 pm.

most enlightening

on a lark I borrowed and watched "WEDNESDAY" Addams tim burton creation and she's me.  raised herself alone child of woe.  Whoah!!

heat advisory so i'm hanging indoors at library watching my game shows on you tube.  HEAVEN!!  i'm free!!

i can't believe it's 10 am

I sat meditating in the tub feels like forever.

oops.  I saved everything at nob hill.  yesterday's blogs vanished.  I rewrote as best I could.  I paid city and chrome crashed.  took 2 hours to regain settings.  

it disappeared

sitting cup parking lot.  at 10 no one using internet, now lots so signal weaker.  

I like getting to seniors 7 am

sprouts 2 Boar's Head roasted chicken breast sandwiches 99 cents each after sale discounts, 2 dark chocolate hazelnut spread $4.50 ea and lucky's 'free' drink took me 20 minutes walking all over the store to find.  good workout.

seeing 'normal' on font size offends me.  reminds me of 'mother' the way John Cleese says it in 'Igor'.  she was always saying I wasn't normal while projecting her weirdness on me.  

my body is healing.  I can feel the bottom of my feet.  my hips are complaining about not sitting 2 hours for bingo.  my right hip feels broken.  Watching 'homeboy' movie a girl kick starting her motorcycle I could feel it in my hip.  OUCH!!

I finally found my misplaced Panera gift card in my car console.  I've been looking for 2 days.  I thought it was caput.

sprouts at 7

 I'm so relaxed.  no Cody, at another site.  nothing today.  

I was ready at 6 am

I watched the news and 'dragnet'.  I'm thinking of part 2 swim 4-6:30.  no one in tub 9-10.  I feel good.  i went to bed 8:30, got up 5.  

my favorite thing is snacking while watching game shows.  

synchronicity

I'm going with the flow.  in the tub I was thinking of Brian and he showed up.  I did my 2 hours and puzzled.  lunch was bland ground turkey bones and all and overcooked pasta.  Fred had ketchup improved it.  Mikey likes it.  tiny salad watery zucchini bean side, piece of bread and 'butter'.  I asked Nahyoung, Toki cancelled.  Trudy said broken water heater.  she probably called I don't know where my phone is.  I got last leftover.

I went to main under parking closed I returned movies, checked st j.  headed to sunny library detoured and walked Savers senior day.  I asked next door at smart and Final about CBD out of stock.  I detoured again to Star One and completed my banking, checked ATM card.  

sunny library 10 degrees cooler.  I have leftover dinner or I can feed the crows.  4 pm 79-89 degrees.  I checked you tube game show channel has 'people puzzler' and 'people place or thing'  I can watch w/o commercials.  

Eric

peace I forgot his b'day.   my anxiety is PTSD.  I woke feeling depressed and thought it was the CBD water.  NOT.  

nob $6.18

nob an hour to shop and recreate Thursday post.  disappeared.  I drove car taking care of my back.  clearance 2 $1.99 7 oz grated Parmesan cheese for noodles and 750 ml almond syrup $2.20 for flavored water.  SCORE!!  I resented driving.  I suffered living like a slave doing things the hard way, the family way.  

lovely cool today.  I ate egg bites b'fast, turkey meatloaf with roasted beans, sweet potato lunch.  I worked on sewing skirt dress and i'm going through the bags from the car.  I rewarded myself with yogurt and cake.  I watched 2 disc 'all about eve' 1950 Bette Davis movie.  how did I not know Aileen when there are so many examples of psychos.  'gaslight' too.

5 pm 'love boat'.  'make room for daddy' marathon Danny Thomas.  the Danny Thomas Show.  

lunch st just

as they were closing Charity I haven't seen since before car renewal.  her friend offered to sign me in for lunches.  Chris told me I could only have one.