i'm ok

I'M LOVING MAKING THE DAY MY OWN.

I ARRIVED SENIORS 8;44 AND LOTS OF CLOSE PARKING.  EXERCISED AND WAITED FOR BOOKMOBILE 10 MINUTES EARLY.  DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING TURNED IN BOOK AND DVD.

AND HERE I AM.

FREE.

8;30 I'M HAVING HOT CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS.  THE FREEZING TEMPERATURES AND HOT CHOCOLATE REMIND ME AT 16 I USED TO MAKE DAD AND ME HOT CHOCOLATE AND HOT BUTTERED TOAST TO WATCH TV.  ONE NIGHT I HAD AN IMPORTANT TEST TO STUDY FOR AND MADE DAD HIS SNACK AND WENT TO STUDY.  HE WASN'T HAPPY EATING WITH MOM AND MITZI BUT I HAD TO STUDY. 

NEXT MORNING I WENT INTO THE DINING ROOM AND MY FISH AND 10 GALLON AQUARIUM WERE GONE.  I PAID FOR THE TANK, FILTER AND LIGHT MYSELF.  I ASKED MOM AND SHE TOLD ME DAD PUT IT OUT ON THE FREEZING PATIO.  WHEN I LOOKED OUTSIDE THE FISH WERE MOTIONLESS.  THEY'D BEEN OUTSIDE ALL NIGHT.  HE TRIED TO KILL MY INNOCENT FISH.  MOM KNEW AND NEVER SAID A WORD TO ME. 

I FILLED A BOWL WITH WATER AND SCOOPED THE FISH INTO THE BOWL NOT KNOWING IF THEY'D SURVIVE.  MY HANDS BECAME RED, SWOLLEN, INCREDIBLY PAINFUL AND USELESS.  I TOLD MY MOM I NEEDED TO GO TO EMERGENCY AND SHE SAID NO I JUST HAD MY GRANDMA'S RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS.  NO BLOOD NO EMERGENCY.  I HAD TO EMPTY THE AQUARIUM BY BOWLS FULL TO MANAGE BRINGING IT BACK IN THE HOUSE. 

I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN BOTH PARENTS.  MY MOM DIDN'T SUPPORT ME AND MY DAD BEHAVED LIKE A SPOILED CHILD.  I NEVER MADE HOT CHOCOLATE AND TOAST AGAIN.

MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY WOUNDED.