my back and neck are good from not carrying anything. i moved around a lot yesterday without picking up anything heavy like mom or dad. the most painful thing is my bunion.
i love not having to do anything. i'm resenting the senior center. not toki but it's almost as if after 57 years driving i needed an excuse to stop. toki was the first person ever in my life to defend me from helen.
i can fix my car more enlightened about myself. i don't have to drive if i don't want to. i can ride hopper. when it rains i can be chauffeured door to door. no parking and walking. better than handicap spaces. people with walkers should be chauffeured. driving uses only half the body keeping the muscles unbalanced. ergo pain.
i ate spaghetti-os/meatballs for breakfast. mom said it was too expensive. anything i wanted they didn't was impossible. they refused what i wanted. they denied me everything i wanted and i chose people who denied and negated me.
drifting in and out of sleep i get it. i'm re balancing 1999. especially hellish due to the interference of my parents' other daughters making them sicker. i got no rest or sleep. they tortured mom and dad and therefor me. i had to cope with the fallout.
ah, feet are transportation stepping forward.
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