I don't know what I feel. It's something new. Scary and different. Scary because it's different. So I had lunch at the sr. ctr. all this week except for tues. 6th my b-day. Tomas hadn't called by 10 so I came here and went to Round Table for free single pizza, single topping. D-lish. Came back here, showered, exercised 'til dinner time and went to Denny's. Tomas left music message at 11:21. So I called him back at 5pm when I got home. I keep forgetting to check my phone remotely. I'll try it 2day.
He's picking me up at 5:30 today for b-day dinner. I told him next week lunch would be good but he says he wants to do it this week. Hmmm...
So I had free lunch all this week except I somehow lost two rings washing my hands. I do wash them a lot. I have to remember more lotion. This has been like going to work. And as long as I wear a back brace I'm ok. I've worn one every day this week. New behavior. I know wearing one to cut trees and do laundry makes all the difference in the world. I guess I didn't think I deserved to feel good all the time. I had to suffer along with my family. Now they're dead I don't have to suffer.
Whenever I wake in the night I do my mantras and alpha brain wave breathing. And it works. Not quickly, but it works.
I want to check out the cake at Safeway. The friday special. I think I've caught up with all the cakes I missed out on for my b-days. If they have strawberry cafe whip cream I'll get one. I can pick and choose and don't have to settle for what I don't want.
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