SO TIRED

I SPENT MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD FEELING SAD, DEPRESSED,REPRESSED, SUPPRESSED AND TIRED OF CONTROLLING MYSELF TO NOT GET PUNISHED.  ANY ATTENTION BROUGHT PUNISHMENT.

AS AN ADULT I FELT SORRY FOR MOM AND TRIED TO BRIGHTEN HER LIFE.  SHE RIDICULED ME.  IT MADE HER HAPPY TO BELITTLE ME.  I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THAT BEHAVIOR CAN BE CHOSEN AS A VIABLE MEANS TO HAPPINESS.

I'M FEELING LOST.  MY  SINUSES ARE SO SORE.  MY ALLERGIES MAKE ME FEEL TIRED.  I COULDN'T SLEEP UNTIL 1:30 AND AWOKE EARLY 5:30.

T CALLED TO INVITE ME TO HEAT UP THE RIBS I BOUGHT FOR SUPER SUNDAY.  AFTER SRS I WENT AND ASKED HIM FOR HELP WITH CALTRAIN SCHEDULES FOR NEXT MONTH WORLDMARK.  HE COOKED VEGGIE RICE.   HE PRINTED OUT ITINERARY.

MY BACK HURTS.  I FEEL SAD AND USELESS LIKE I DID FLAT ON MY BACK 2001-2008  UNTIL I GOT A OFF MY BACK.  SHE HIRED PAT VORREITER TO HARASS ME AGAIN, REFUSED AN AUDIT.  ONLY STOPPED WHEN I SUGGESTED SIGNING OFF $700 K FOR THE HOUSE.  MITZI WAS AFRAID OF EMBEZZLING CHARGES AND AGREED. 

18 YEARS OF WORKING JUST TO KEEP LIVING.  IF I DIE ALL HER GUILT IS ALLEVIATED.

THE COMMERCIALS FOR ABUSED ANIMALS MAKE ME ANGRY.  WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN?  EVERY DAY MORE STORIES IN THE NEWS OF CHILD MURDERS AND ABUSE.