back lot main

i'm eating my cheddar biscuit bacon cheese egg.  $4 a little disappointed.  american cheese.  oh, well.

i went to jack in the box, yard sale new boots $5, dollar potting soil 6 small manageable bags, at john's gave him (found at park) big blue styrofoam plane.  main lib half hour games.  outside, goose tracking me reminded me i didn't blog.  i sat outside to update.

i watched 2 docs early this morning.  chased me out of house.  oliver sacks and tu david phu.  so different and yet the same.  they had loving support during tough times.  i have silent unity.  

i got letter city code enforcement weeds and fence.  i need help.  juan padilla.  all those fears came rushing back.  tom wants me helpless.  he wants to be able to resent me when i ask for help.  he always says to ask.  my family.  i get it now.  cut out of the herd, isolate, use.  all the times i got out of my bed to rescue him.  doing his taxes for years, driving to rescue him when he ran out of gas in s j on the freeway, going on gigs with him when everyone else couldn't stand him, wouldn't talk to him.  family.

woman came to door asking if i was giving away my porch plants during clean up.  no.  she proceeded to pick 2 cactus flowers barehanded.  ouch.  todds next door cut down their date palm put in street for yearly clean up.  i want to run out and cut down cactus.  i can't too late in day.  my back wouldn't let me sleep.