very good

last day of May.  I survived another one.  mom's b'day and death day.  

I'm slowly adjusting to my new car look.  I just figured out dad always bought new cars and complained for 6 months getting things fixed to his satisfaction or just accepted it.  so being a business major new cars depreciate when you drive them off the lot so I always bought 3-5 year old cars but Toyota keep their value so 10 year old cars are ok.  

I drove to lucky's free and sale chips then Sprouts looking for dessert and deli had 2 clearance large turkey meatloaf, roasted sweet potato asparagus dinners $2.60 ea.  drove home new behavior.  

swam 2 hours, puzzle, lunch with Toki and Mike more puzzle decided to stay for bingo I wasn't feeling it.  drove back to Sprouts walked store nothing.  called Brian if home no voice mail.  Safeway college blueberry pudding ring.  4 pm tried Brian again no answer I decided to swing by in case.  he was home.  I didn't have the address and found it.  watched 5 pm 'people, place, thing'.  he made pizza dough, sauce caramelized balsamic red onions, blue cheese.  we sat and ate 'til 9 I asked for a piece to take home.  he wrapped half the cake to take home.  I went straight to bed 9:30.

my recycle-child

$7.99.  I woke with stomach aching and feeling sick.  too many stomach crunches.  I dressed and drove to scott feeling better I detoured to danny's recycle.  my back brace straightened out my nerves and voila! better the rest of the day.  

swam, Brian invited me dinner tomorrow evening and jeopardy wheel.  lunch Toki and Mike.  Fred still on vacation.  so home to rest up.  

being me

no more normal.  I'm done with normal.  I want back to being me.  

i'm reading up on whiplash.  2 hours of research and printing.  that Tesla collision did a number on my body head to toes.  hit my 2008 corolla's right side hard enough to shift the front end 5 inches left requiring welding the frame and replacing the cracked bumper, bent hood, both bent front panels, shattered lights.  the front is all new.  obviously she hit me, officer Chris Burgos SCPD report wrote I hit her one spot on her left bumper.

Mike showed up for desiccated Salisbury steak lunch.  I have to laugh.  Toki very late.  I got 1 of 2 left over.  then 6 servings of left over tomato basil soup = 1 cup.  

home 2:45 just in time for my game shows.  

I'm figuring it out

noisy seniors.  an hour and half I slept in tub using pool noodle.  so restful and relaxing.  now I understand seniors sleeping.  so much of life is sleep deprived.  forced to play through exhaustion until there's no demarcation.  we lose the ability to feel tired.  a specific neuropathy.  

I enjoyed the potato crusted fish for lunch.  Toki came late with Salome.  she forgot comics for the first time.  I went to mission to pick up young Sheldon.

Inge reminded me to pick up her recycle 10 minutes for $7.92.  and it inspired me to get my recycle together.  

home 1:30 for my game shows.  

playing catch up remembering memorial holiday

A lovely cool day.  perfect for rest.  not watching war movies even though playing all day.  thinking of uncle Dickie serving in 100 and 442 in Italy.  that's real not a glorification for entertainment purposes.

auto update I don't know how.  

one of my favorite movies 'i remember mama' 1948 Irene Dunne.  immigrants in a strange new world.  

celebrity game shows.  I almost fell adjusting TV antenna.  I over balanced and I grabbed the sliding glass door handle.  it's good I have so much stuff to keep me up.  so hard getting up from the floor.  I knocked everything on my side table on the floor and cleaned it up quickly and calmly without swearing or upset.  first time ever.

9 am

watching 1975 'crazy mama' Clorise Leachman, Ann Sothern.  next is 'bad mama' 1974 Angie Dickinson, William Shatner.  makes my mom look good.  

relax-rest/returned sunny hot spot

daily word-can't pour from an empty cup.  I wasn't allowed to rest.  I have a hard time knowing when i'm tired.  I spent my life tired.  

woo hoo!  I bought fish oil and D 3 at Walmart on medicare.  @ lucky's I bought gator lyte, sparkling and slivered almonds $7.  i'm feeling rich.  I made lunch and brought to sunny library.  lovely cool day.  I'm free to do what I want.  I turned in spot and got back in queue.  I can go home, stay here, look for nob potato salad $5.  I have 3 days.  I started Mayan calendar puzzle.

I showered and updated chrome at 24 fitness.  3rd parking space just as I arrived.  I prefer the anonymous company.  it's better than the family.  I miss the company and as I told ex Will I don't miss the arguing and tension.

1 pm parking lot sitting in a cool car on an overcast day i ate my 2 Tina burritos.  i'm eating the last of the 2 pounds of cherries I bought yesterday.  so good.  I'm so blessed to live here now.  

new left eye twitching symptom.  right calf and left knee.  

watching 'cactus flower' 'hopscotch' 'charade' Walter Matthau movies if plays early enough.

Friday freebie- not me today- i'm ok no internet

9 too early, now lots of parking.  I tried loading coupon couldn't do it asked for help it isn't me.  it's the machine.  hurray!  

tiny fish lunch me and Fred, Toki said she had errands to complete may not make lunch.  I gave her low acid tomatoes (I finally remembered) to Fred and Jane.  I didn't want to take any home.  i've been eating a few a day for a couple weeks.  she went to Sprouts yesterday and scored tons of 99 cent bargains she was so happy.  my job well done.

clearance prune lucky's microwave pop tarts 12/$2.13, mint choc almond bar $1.63, free gatorlyte lime cucumber.  lots of register coupons.  score.

1 pm watching AWE+ luxury travel.  no fuss no muss travel.  my way to live.  I nuked a cob delicious.  I was so hungry.

I considered returning to sunny but I prefer my game shows.  tomorrow is better for me I can puzzle.  resting very welcome.  

lunch done-lost internet

Toki and Fred.  he's lost without Mike went to Capitola.  lunch was good but tiny.  

8:30 gym traffic heavy.  10 still heavy I detoured and filled gas at Santa Clara Costco.  expressway busy with memorial holiday traffic.  I mistakenly misused the tire air pump.  tire center manager rescued me.  I thought I knew how to use it I didn't.  I got lazy and didn't read the directions.

2 pm no internet.  still connected to the hot spot.  probably safer from hackers.  

home again jiggety jog.

I swam, I saw, I conquered.  sprouts my 2 c b d, and 3/$3 sweets, 2 lion mane mushrooms I gave one to Mike supposedly medicinal.  Mike and Fred make lunch fun.  Toki was very late.  Jane was the last to join us.  The pork fried rice was good.  

I went directly to the library to buy how to beat housework and charged devices.  

resetting my target

I nuked bacon bits and scrambled eggs added cheese and remembered lunch  brown rice.  I'm watching hallmark romance movies.  no wars, global warming, car or home repairs, etc.  vacation from reality.

9:30 plenty of parking 24 fitness.  I'm still paranoid driving super carefully, watching out for speeding stunt drivers.  

11:11 new procedure going in no entrance door.  ah, they don't want anyone approaching the office.  so cowardly.  

perfect day

9 am watered pet plants, 24 fitness I forgot towel, sprouts 99 cent rainbow carrots saw Marlin and her hubbie, seniors 11:15 plenty of parking.  

lovely lunch companions.  I walked in with Mike and Fred who walked the park.  chicken was tiny.  it's good I have so much food.  I don't feel denied.  I'm still hungry.

home 12:33 the earliest ever.  I watched 'mama's family' and 'love boat'.  

watching game shows I hope contestants are just nervous and not as clueless as they appear.  or the world is doomed.

chick cutlet simmer 5 min microwave

I don't know.  put me back to sleep I woke 9:30 closed up house for 77 degree day.  very perfect.

i'm watching silly movies and mending.  i'm eating like a queen.  strawberries, cutlet, all my favorites.

6:30 pm tuckered and bed.

no tinnitus

I didn't notice it was gone until I read an article e mail from AARP.  when I stopped smoking it left.  I had it because of dad's smoking.  

what a heavenly day.  I picked up my free drink prune lucky's, clearance spicy chick salad $2, BOGO strawberries.  sprouts bakery specials 8 am 99 cent 4 filled donuts, cream cheese brioche, snow peas, sliced mushrooms, 4 chick cutlets $4, my 2 CBD seltzers.  

seniors 9 am swam hour and half talked to Brian in tub, said hi to Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Melvin in gym.  home noon hungry I had spicy chicken added faux crab delicious.  I prepped strawberries, washed and slow cooked mushrooms.  cutlet is tough.  i'm eating excellent.

1/2 parking disabled

today is the health fair and parking is compromised.  2 days of setting up.  they'll be sore tomorrow.  i've never seen most of them even moving let alone doing actual physical work.  they used 1/2 parking for disabled.  

I showered with my pool shoes and socks.  perfect day to dry them in car.  wearing them still wet 1 pm I changed into flips.  very crowded lunchtime not enough place settings.  so I only saved Toki's spot.  Fred and Mike too late.  Sprouts dozen mini choc cupcakes $1.99 and 2 CBD seltzers.  

inga back.  she returned to Cali Wednesday.  she recuperated at her daughter's in Tennessee.  

power went out 4:50 pm and I wonder if solar flares.  wheel does not want to cooperate.  if no tv early sleep.

keeping the fun in dys fun ctional

being trained in the past we hit the decks dysfunctional.  the mission is to keep the fun while enhancing the outdated training.  the world is changing faster than anyone can keep up with creating tension, anxiety and fear.  the Trumps of the world use fear to manipulate and control others.  

basically confidence tricksters.  Wayne Dyer wrote 'pulling your own strings' reminding us to take charge of our own programming.  I watch channel 24.7 on TV listening to the lies and projections so ingrained it's become a recording.  the lights are on but nobody's home.  I know the direction.

I swam, puzzled, lunched, extra carnitas 4 x serving size.  I found nob hill  coupons i'd forgotten last day and checking lucky's last day for faux crab $2.99/lb.  I got last 2.  I saved $9/$21 at nob hill so my dinners are covered for the month.

what a petulant baby

Asian man back.  he started to take out new puzzle before completed 'starry night' put away.  I nicely asked him to wait so pieces wouldn't get lost or mixed and he left in a huff.  he didn't want to put it away himself big dummy said it was a shame to take it down.  so mix up and lose pieces.

lunch lovely Toki, Fred, Mike, new widow 2021 Yoshie and son Robert.

I went to mission picked up movies, stopped by college Safeway, remembered jiffy cornbread at target and sale low salt chips, sprouts 4 CBD seltzer.  home I watched my games and ate left overs.  

I entered celebrity 10 k

I'm feeling computer literate.  I didn't get frustrated or blame or criticize myself.  filled with enthusiasm I went to seniors early and puzzled 'til 9 then swam, Brian in tub.  back to puzzle.  lunch good broccoli beef.  extra 2 x serving.  Toki, Fred, Mike, Jane.  so lovely to dine with lovely people.  back upstairs I finished puzzle.  went well.  I surprised myself.  

home early I mended swim suit top and considered making 2 piece from water one piece.  found car recycle tongs to collect bottles.  

i've survived another year 23 since mom died

being who I am.  I swam, I puzzled, I lunched so great with Kenny Trudy, Toki, Fred, Mike.  Trudy brought mom day fruit tart to share.  so good whole wheat crust.  

3 pm watching people puzzle turned on TV 2 minutes to spare.  

tonight celebrity wheel.  I can't get in to enter answers.  oh, well.  I don't think it's me this time.

slept through the night

I woke 4:30 brushed my teeth waited 'til 7:30 to walk to nob hill.  I walked the store for half hour bought salad.  home I transplanted plumeria.  I watched 'green acres' marathon and ate salad.  i guess if I want cornbread i'll have to make it, or maybe corn casserole.  

I feel complete.  at some point I want to go to sunny to pick up holds today or tomorrow.  

me me me

funny I didn't learn it before.  Tom is common and prefers it.  I've been upset wanting to do the right thing.  I prefer feeling good.  I was satisfied.  he's upsetting me.  I have to be more like him, selfish looking out for me and my feelings.  he doesn't care anything about me.  look at our history.  he never has.  

most people don't care about doing the right thing.  I must or suffer.  

seniors I swam in the warm pool tub too crowded.  I puzzled and went to st j.  i'm still on the list although I missed 2 months.  eggs 2 at a time.  something i've never seen before.  what I love about st. j pantry.  and odd little tomatoes and strawberries.  and single choc cake.  happy holiday to me me me.

green acres 1 pm catchy tv 5/11/66 S1/E29.  'horse? what horse?'  i'm still debating what I want to do.  I get a do over.  

i decided to go to cup library pick up and drop off.  going at 3 was perfect.  AAPI celebration all the asian families took most parking.  didn't stay went to monta vista high school parking across from DT  stayed an hour left with Jamie and Tom Grable, said hello to Letitia and Joe Rodriguez, incensed Lily because i missed Della's funeral when Tom refused to help me get a ride to there.  typical like Mitzi he's so family.  home exhausted i went to bed.

I went to both lucky's to find freebie.

yogurt with choc almond sprinkles is delicious.  Lawrence had no clue what or where.  Prune ridge designated cooler, clearance shelves full.  I bought $8 white truffle infused sunflower oil originally for $24, $1 passion fruit black tea.  

sprouts I bought 3 water flavors $1 ea, 2 CBD, 99 cent hummus veg.  

seniors wonderfully mellow.  Fred and Mike joined Toki and me.  so relaxed.  got a lot done on starry night puzzle.  I digested tiny mother's day paella more like soupy risotto and went to bingo.  I won 3 times was told to go home made me want to win.  I picked 2 crystal, a heavy vase and   left quickly after the end got home for people puzzler.  perfect.  

tcb

2 bills to pay.  I paid city power online i'll pay citi-costco tomorrow.  

i'm doing well on the Van Gogh puzzle.  stopped at sprouts 2 more CBD seltzer, 2 hummus, pancetta.  I made salad from lettuce mix so delicious.  I don't like seltzer but I love CBD.

fell asleep after finishing cookies.  ate lunch turkey and veg.  tomorrow mom day lunch with ice cream.  

I'm getting angry

Tom called whining I didn't call.  he dumped me so many times i'm done.  he's Deanna's problem now.  let's see do I want to drive to cup for cake on Sat to celebrate his b'day.  I could go to the library.   a possibility.  i'm starting to hate him.  I've never hated anyone but then no one else has ever promoted such insanity.

peter another non communicator called.  I can't understand his garble.  so close to Grable.  

so good

I succeeded in hearing the ear pollution in the tub as ambient noise.  lovely word ambient.  lunch lovely.  Toki, Fred, Mike.  

feeling lovely calm

maybe too calm.  I drank the chamomile lavender tea and exercise was easy.  I puzzled.  today divine order.  arrived seniors 7:30.  I'm feeling miraculously relaxed.  lovely lunch with Toki, Fred, Mike.  Hawaiian chicken.  filled out optional survey of preferences.  puzzle and home.  

I puzzled and digested lunch.  home at 2 for game show.  

oh, but I want a smoke

 deep breaths.  

I poached the chicken breast pieces in the juice of 2 ripe lemons for 20, stirred then another 25 minutes.  I can season to taste.  lunch shredded lettuce dressed with amino and ketchup.

happy star wars rainy day

I swam after checking sprouts.  I puzzled a little, considered copy paper drove the long way to main in the rain.  bad memory of valentine's day.  tested st j no desire.  I went around the long way nope closed chapter.  dollar tree cheese cracker taste test.  really nothing I want.  

home by noon.  I heated buffalo chicken and toasted 2 waffles.  very spicy.  nap attack.   maybe too rich blue cheesy.

i've been listening to car radio music.  new weird dreams.  

i'm feeling timeless.  

doing and being

I picked up lucky's free pasta and hot sauce.  I forgot money at home and used car card.  I bought prepped chicken and clearance salad home.  

took my time relaxing.  puzzle.  lunch I called to check on Walter.  tomorrow Star Wars Day is his dad's b'day.  

good full table Toki, Jane, Fred, Mike, Salome.  I decided to check prizes for bingo.  after first game Walter showed up w/chicken.  boring bingo I decided I'd be happier banking and county.  talked to Walter half hour about happiness.  I knew his body would feel stressed.  PTSD tries to protect us unconsciously.  I told him he doesn't have to do anything if he's satisfied with his life.  he's in control of what he feels.  he thinks rum is an alternative when we know it's poison.  it masks symptoms worsening the condition.  it signals the body the direction to take.  either upward or downward.

onward and upward

so frustrating to have to repeat myself.  my main reason to avoid teaching.  a good teacher repeats until the student gets it.  

good swim, puzzle lunch with Toki and Diane.  puzzled 'til 1:30 withdrew chase and home 2 pm game show.  

my knees are sore.  and my right elbow.

I dropped off apr/may $140 to bartolo and he came by cleared weeds and herbs.  

may day

happy b'day mom.  I never shorted her on presents like she did me.  it never occurred to me.  revenge is a funny word.  venge.  hah.  

swam, puzzled, lunched with Ed, Toki, Fred, Mike, Jane.  still disappearing blog.  I puzzled 'til 2 to avoid lunch hour laundry.  reverse parked in back zero customers they slowly trickled in.  hung clothes an hour.  

Toki right, car takes me everywhere every when I want.