Pat Vorreiter 2007

everything i wrote disappeared.  i looked up her info to check her address.  she was Ailing and Mitt's fourth and final lawyer.  and everything evaporated into the ethos.  like the belief i ever had a family.

1998-2007 was hell.  dad fractured his spine and i watched his decline and passive suicide.  counselor's words.  then mom made good her 1993 suicide attempt on May 13, 2001.  my sisters upped their cruelty and betrayal.  more than four times the agony with my ex husband.  i had to overcome the family history of denial.  56 years to that point.  

King of Queens television show ran those years.  my mini vacation from the overwhelming pain humiliation lies and torture.

i'm processing the pain of divorcing my family.  down to the core of my being.  who i used to be.  i'm deciding who i'm becoming.  i fully expected the pain would kill me and yet here i am.  

so i'm pampering myself.  doing a little housework for my pride.  celebrating me.  eating chocolate.