i finally feel connected

yesterday i lost the bag of choc almonds i bought at sprouts for only $3.25.  oh, well.  i went to st just pantry at 11 between storm clouds.  lots of veg 2 boxes.  i was told i can collect 3 x this month.  too much.  safeway loaded free seltzer none homestead.  3 pm i decided to retrace sunny library steps.  left the bigger box veg for home free and walked all over.  no interesting puzzles stopped gym 2 safeway tonic.  checked sprouts in case.  came home.  great exercise.  I don't feel like going to the gym today.  spell check fills in the words.  monday is a holiday.  yay!  right foot sore like weight dropped on it.  like when alien dropped iron on it when i at 8 refused to iron her clothes after finishing my own.  ouch.

chrome locked, i shut off recovered settings.  pinched left hand cart handle brought in pantry groceries second injury this week.  

lucky 13.

woke early looking forward to 3 free days.  monday holiday.  loaded and picked up free drink lucky's and clearance water and found clearance wilcox t shirt.  i could never afford during high school not any more baby.   wore it exercise.  motivation.

brenda gave me romaine heart calling it endive.  we're all scarred and damaged and perfectly suited to care for each other.  mimi substituted for kirby.  i've been missing her mornings in the gym.  she's doing well.  

lovely lunch with my jonathon livingston seagull flock.  i finally found my family.  well created.  drizzling i decided on sunny library puzzles.  relaxed went panda.  ate entire orange and sesame chiken chow mein.  wrote scathing review i don't like being ignored waiting to pay while my food gets cold.  won't be back to that one.  

after the 3 bullies i'm missing my sisters.  i still love them i share dna i love them as myself.

cody bookmobile

lovely day.  swam an hour and found 4 movies.  gave cody fruit.  he had a good family vacation.  lunch was good. i love everyone so generous sharing.                                                                                                                                                                                                          heather hilda jennifer just being predators.  nothing personal.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        realizing no energy holding me back senior center.  i called carlos time for tire assessment he confirmed right front said i could leave sensor 5 years.  when ready a-1 shop has tools.

woke feeling terrified child

no dream or sound just awake.  ray bradbury wrote 3 am is the best time to know one's thoughts the least psychic static energy.  maybe a psychic outcry.  or past terror.  and more will be revealed.

chrome crashed.  i'm still processing my fear.  and the bullying.  heather and jennifer are tryimg to bully me.  white women try to control the world by blaming men.  i'm not playing their game.  wars are caused by women.  if women refused men would stop killing.  

loaded free safeway bread homestead closed no computer and college no stock.  oh well.  showered seniors biked half an hour stretched half.  time for lunch with everyone there.  diced deli turkey stew salty.  drank lots of water.  back to sar lucky for 4 water and sweetner said hi cathy.  tahitian lime delicious.  called homestead open free and clearance olive bread.  main i puzzled and pondered my life.

eye twitching is definitely tight neck when i stretch it stops.  not muscle, tendon.  so much popping cracking.  

mom's legacy of loneliness

feels so normal.  it's a miracle i'm alive.  with all the insanity i've endured.  i can understand celebrities killing themselves.  insanity is designed to isolate.  insanity seeks to separate from the herd.  exclusion vs inclusion.  

my right eye has been twitching and now this morning my right hand has new neuropathy ring and pinky finger numb tingly on awakening.  and right thumb feels better?  or more numb i can't tell.

heather mcallister left a flyer on the back banquet tables.  the only flyer in the room taped to the spot i sometimes sit.  i was going to sit at the last round table but i noticed next to the place setting in back where i sometimes charge my chrome.  i'm documenting that jennifer had heather deliver meals while jennifer signed people in.  so much extra effort for little old me.  the best part is i'm demonstrating to my peeps.  i had them look at the flyer noting no one else got one.  states 'places cannot be saved.'  i don't argue with idiots or the insane.  waste of time and energy and running the risk of getting mired in the insanity.  and i'm no longer responsible for saving seats.  i'm as free as a bird.  thank you my sisters.  i'm excited.  i went did a load of laundry between the rain.  missed washing a pair of pants.  next time.  i used to condemn myself (past family training) and i can see it for what it is, nothing.  

i can't believe all the online gossip i'm following.  who am i?  i'm reading about trump, melania, harry and meghan you name it.  

stopped dollar tree last 2 frozen burgers.  no line a miracle usually to the back of the store.  i planned on leaving if a long line.

i hung everything.  i used 2 plastic bags to transport clothes instead of one basket.  i carried them in separately and planned on emptying one, resting then the other, had energy to hang both at once.  energized by st justin windbreaker.  threw together dinner so much veg.  

reading up british monarchy second son syndrome

it's been historic for the eldest to be spoiled to the point of ridiculous taught they can do no wrong and dying early.  the untrained spare second son is rushed into place untrained insecure feeling unqualified to lead.  of course george 6 had a stutter.  he was persona non grata until his spoiled older brother edward 8 tried to force the crown into changing policy for him.  the world was lucky or england would have conceded to hitler.  ed 8 basically a nazi.  the abdication was a ploy that backfired.  

i'm not surprised being the second, spare not allowed a life waiting as the understudy.  never any credit never any cash.  i'm sure harry is used to scrambling taking care of himself.  my sisters were given everything.  i worked for everything i have despite their sabotage..

my resolution to pay bills early i paid citibank, clearance lucky's water 40 cents i bought 10 very bland.  no crv aluminum bottles.  It occurred to me to pay pge at walmart.  clearance cooked barilla pasta $2.22 a bit high i wanted to try.  i wanted to try water too tight i looked for pliers i hear my name joanie helped me open.  she's a delightful maniac.  jack in box 2 tacos $1.63 now hit my spot.  cooked more noodles for lunch chicken.  added salad + peas.  

only relaxed muscles heal

i slept on and off 11 hours.  nothing on tv after 7 pm.

'being naughty' is being oneself.  as babies we're corralled and imposed upon and impressed with what adults perceive in our best interests and not allowed to be ourselves when infancy is the best time, least self destructive time to express who we are.  native americans waited until baby showed a natural inclination before naming children.  they allowed babies to be babies not expecting miniature adults.  the inheritors of the earth.

i'm loving the versatility of this chrome.  the idea i shouldn't be able to use it on internet access certainly adds a desire to do just that.  i'm learning to express myself by not running a program.  i'm finally feeling comfortable at least today.  

i'm doing my stretches in bed.  yesterday i had to get out.  i didn't feel like the gym just wanted to walk.  still no idea what scraped my hand unless velcro from the back brace.  been wearing green plaster/antibio.