MORE DREAMS

TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS AND I'M EXCITED.  USED TO FEELING DREAD.

2-8 I DREAMED OF BEING VERY HIGH ABOVE A BEACH SITTING ON A BOULDER WITH TWO WOMEN NATIVE TO THE AMAZON LAND.  THEY HELPED ME TO SAFETY.

I'M GETTING CLEARER ON MY LIFE.  ALL MY OLD RELATIONSHIPS WERE SO WRONG FOR ME.  TODAY I WENT TO SENIORS AND SPENT TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE ME.  PEOPLE REALLY LIKE ME UNLIKE MY FAMILY.  THEY NEVER LIKED ME OR MAYBE THEMSELVES.  EACH OTHER.  DISLIKING ME UNITED THEM.

I GAVE THEM PRESENTS.  I LOVE GIVING. 

I SPENT THE DAY IN PEACE AND LOVE.  I HAD WHAT I WANTED WHEN I WANTED.  I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW WONDERFUL THIS DAY HAS BEEN.

I WATCHED TV.  LOOKING ONLINE I HAD TWO BOOKS OVERDUE $1.50 I PAID, AND RENEWED.  I CHECKED LUCKY REWARDS AFTER 7 PM AND DIDN'T GET 1000 POINTS FOR THE HOLIDAY HAM MEAL, EMAILED CUSTOMER SUPPORT.  WHETHER I GET THE POINTS OR NOT I'M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.

I'VE BEEN JOURNALING SINCE 1976.  I WAS THE LONELIEST WHEN I WAS MARRIED.  I WANTED SOMEONE, ANYTHING TO CONNECT WITH.  MY FAMILY WAS THE SAME AS MY EX.  AT THE TIME HE ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND FOR A LIST.  IT TOOK ME DAYS TO MAKE A LIST AND THEN HE DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING I WANTED SAYING HE WANTED TO SURPRISE ME.  OH, I WAS SURPRISED.  THE NEXT YEAR HE ASKED AGAIN FOR A LIST AND I TOLD HIM NO, I MIGHT GET WHAT I WANTED IF I DIDN'T WRITE A LIST.  HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE ANYTHING I WANTED JUST LIKE MY FAMILY.

I WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE WHAT THEY WANT.  AS A CHILD I BELIEVED IF PEOPLE WERE HAPPY LIFE WOULD BE HAPPY.  I DIDN'T KNOW SOME PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS REQUIRED MAKING OTHER'S MISERABLE.

1976 I USED CONSCIOUS AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME.  I'D USED SELF HYPNOSIS IN GRADE SCHOOL WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS.  I STUDIED AND BEFORE A TEST I'D TELL MYSELF THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT I WOULD REMEMBER EVERYTHING I STUDIED AND IT WORKED.  3.65 AVERAGE.

I'M READING DAMSEL IN DISTRESS BY P G WODEHOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON GUTENBERG.ORG.  THE MOVIE STARRED FRED ASTAIRE BUT I'D NEVER READ IT BEFORE.  OUT OF PRINT.

MAYBE I CAN FIND W H BATES VISION IMPROVEMENT TOO.