see kathryn and bing crosby's twin sons denied being abused yet killed themselves 5 years apart. both gun shot. the eldest son of dixie lee died an alcoholic, gary was the only honest son. maybe the lack of love and kindness. alcohol makes life barely tolerable no substitute for love.
i read it yesterday and it hit me this morning.
maybe that's my calling. i'm feeling helpless, hopeless. is that what drives suicide? i'm thinking about the cruelty of the universe. what's the point?
i can only live one moment at a time. god's not done with me that's all i know for sure.
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