i've felt depressed my entire life. last thursday i drove everywhere meeting deadlines and made myself sick. my family drove me with abuse and torture. they humiliated me in front of others and terrorized people me included.
my motivation in life was avoiding pain not creating joy. i want health and happiness. i kept trying to make others happy in hopes they'd reciprocate. toki's the only one. she called 6 pm to ask if i needed anything.
i need a new focus for living.
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