quite a procedure. so many steps and cautions. i'm feeling a little better.
epiphany- i've been making my life harder. my family trained me to suffer abuse and humiliation. 1999 i asked mom why she 's so mean to me she said to toughen me. i don't need for life to be harder. it's tough enough. she treated my sisters so good. mom and dad taught them to abuse, humiliate and steal from me. i chose people to make my life miserable. my family tradition. what was familiar. what i was used to, comfortable with.
i can force myself to chase after free stuff pushing myself beyond my limits or relax and let heaven come to me.
my sisters hated mom and transferred that hatred to me. they never used to notice me. no matter what mom did they hated her and she knew it.
confirmation-8:30 i put out garbage and recycle bins, 8:45 drove to cost co, filled tank 'though website said closed 8 pm. home 9 pm 70 degree weather. amazing i feel ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment