I spent the morning and lunch relaxing, a very comfortable rhythm. my depression is a little better.
I picked up my Lucky's free 4 pack of Jones mini root beer and buy 2 get 2 low salt Fritos. I used my gift card $7.89. I paid $2.88.
I was surprised it was sprinkling today. it's been raining steadily.
I miss online mahjong.
AND SO IT IS. returned hot Spot and movies. now keeping track 4 days late. I'm still feeling happy. got extra fish.
it will probably be a month 'til I get central's, 103 waiting. I feel perfectly neutral, hurray!
I went to Cup dropped off, picked up. home by 2 no internet. and it makes me want to blog. and take a nap.
I'm watching SNL so silly and funny.
eighth grade parlance meant super cool. second reference. yesterday I was reminded of a grade school joke or what passes for a joke in the eighth grade. "man and woman get married the bride asks her mom to pack her freshly ironed blue night gown but her mom packs her un ironed pink nightie. on their honeymoon the groom dresses in the bathroom letting the bride dress in the bedroom for modesty. when she finds the pink nightie she says" oh, it's pink and wrinkled" he replies "oh, you promised not to look". badabump!
I'm having fun following my feelings. the senior parking lot was full of new year exercisers. maybe the mild overcast got people out.
had a lovely soak, massage, exercise in the spa. lunch I ordered the roast beef sandwich. the veg pasta looked overcooked. Fred and Toki. Walter has appointments today and tomorrow. I considered Cup and banking and decided there's always tomorrow. took my time home at 2 relaxed and refreshed.
gardeners came by at 3. I paid Adela.
lovely quiet day.
I'm defeating my enemies. they're always men. probably dad. he resented me. I think it's what crippled him.
I need to tone down my goofiness.
I'm freaking out. today's last day to RSVP for next week birthday party. and I want to go to central library to finish the puzzle. I left an RSVP message with an offer to contribute.
11:30 I filled car with gas. just before me a bunch of cars showed up still only took 11 minutes. I showered at 24 hour noon is the best parking time everyone leaves for lunch. I have a painless big bruise on my left big toe. wasn't there yesterday and I didn't wear Joanie's boots.
I parked under the main library in case it rains. I finished dog puzzle.
I forgot to eat lunch so home 4:30 soup salad and bagel. I feel good and I'm visualizing myself healthy, strong and incredible. I'm being my own best friend.
I woke from a dream of community and happiness in the company of my heavenly family frosting sheet sponge fruit cakes with whip cream. then I woke up depressed. I'm still alive and I bought all that food.
ALL THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD ARE FROM BAD PARENTS WHO SHOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS TO IGNORE, NEGLECT, ABUSE. my terrible parents. my resistance to locks from being a latch key kid and Ail's stealing my key blaming me for losing them when it was her. I couldn't blame her when mom might kill her. watching George Lopez is freeing me.
I'm following Spirit not thinking, planning just being, doing, feeling. after senior soak for an hour in quiet contemplation I withdrew Chase and picked up St Just lunch. indoor picnic at the library.
St Just had groceries abandoned I picked up a cucumber and noodles tastes like baking powder.
home at 4:30.
