I LOVE TO LAUGH. I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. WHEN WE WERE LITTLE WE SPENT EVERY NEW YEAR'S EVE AT FLORENCE AND JIMMY CATO'S POTLUCK PARTY WATCHING THE ORIGINAL FRANKENSTEIN. AT MIDNIGHT THEY'D RELEASE A CANOPY OF BALLOONS WE'D POP LOOKING FOR MONEY. WE'D GET HOME 2 AM. WE DIDN'T HAVE THE 6 AM RITUAL ZONI SOUP BACK THEN.
WE SUDDENLY STOPPED GOING. I WAS RELIEVED. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE SUDDEN BREAK WITH THE HAWAII CLUB. MAYBE DAD'S DRINKING. THERE WAS LESS PRESSURE, TENSION AT HOME. FOR AWHILE UNTIL MOM STARTED WORKING AND NEW TENSIONS AROSE.
I WAS TERRIFIED LINKING THE KIDS WITH LOSING MY COUSINS WHEN WE MOVED HERE AND NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS HAPPENING. NO ONE EXPLAINED TO ME. I MISSED MY HAWAII FAMILY. MY DEPRESSION STARTED THEN AT 4 YEARS OLD. A VAGUE SADNESS.
SUDDENLY MY PARENTS WERE ISOLATED TO REINVENT THEMSELVES.
COVID ISOLATION=REINVENTION.
MY FEARS CAME FROM WATCHING KING KONG. MY PARENTS WERE ANIMALS EMOTIONALLY STUNTED AT 3 YEARS OLD. DARWINIAN EVOLUTION. I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR 3 NIGHTS IN A ROW AFTER WATCHING KING KONG. I WAS AFRAID THE ANIMAL WOULD KILL ME. TEAR ME LIMB FROM LIMB. I LEARNED TO CHANGE MY RESPONSE TO THE FEAR. I COULD CHANGE THE DREAM AND OUTCOME. I WAS PHYSICALLY 8 AND EMOTIONALLY OLDER THAN MY PARENTS.
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