thieves

i checked some of the garage.  the detergents are moved around maybe missing i don't know.  they went through my food and made it impossible to reach by moving things in front of the doors.  they put a loaded milk crate with my b b q coal starter in the top. they  pulled out the nails dad used as handles.  more mess to clean up, organize.  my back is iffy and ok.  my heart is bruised from the disrespect.  i expected better from nitzi and craig.  i really feel sorry for craig.  trapped by alien 2.  i feel sorry for me. 

i slept fitfully with my dvd and cd.  i am blessed by god with distractions.  like the washing machine breaking.  i enjoy the ritual of communal laundry.  and nitzi always brought her laundry so mom could do it saying mom's washer was so much better.  nitzi could have bought the same model but wanted mom to do her wash.  and mom never acknowledged she was being used.  like nitzi dropping off her kids to be babysat.  i wonder if she was cheating on craig like alien was cheating on larry.  seems reasonable now.  when dad had prostate cancer 1989 the evil schadenfreude twins traded off weekends.
i'd disappear.

cheaters cheat everyone. spouse, kids, everyone.  they'll cheat everyone around them.  if they'll cheat those closest to them friends acquaintances don't have a snowballs chance in hell.  it's just a question of time before they're betrayed.

i'm hoping when i learn and accept the lessons i can leave.  i used to dread having to abandon them.  not anymore.

i have to keep reminding myself to slow down, take it easy.  i'm feeling manic.  i remembered to fill gas, seniors 9;35 #2 car, then i went to lucky's saratoga for eggs, as i was leaving i remembered i wanted wild tuna steak and bought frozen van de camps.

i cooked 10 fillets and ate them for dinner and lunch.  i'm pickling red onion.