i cried

i planned to watch 'mr rogers' movie non stop 15 minutes in my legs got chills run away!!  i got up looking for a distraction:  find paper, a notebook, pen not right another pen, book needs dusting.  the father everyone needs.  my father a large dangerous vindictive child.  

i avoided watching the tom hanks movie.  didn't care for the actor and was afraid to be disappointed.  the spirit is there.  i'll have to watch a bite at a time.

i'm finally crying for dad.  i haven't for 22 years.  when he died i felt relief.  i was physically emotionally spiritually drained.  i had nothing left.  i was a dry husk.  

what a different world if we'd all been raised by fred rogers.  

i did my lunch and drove to library and soak.  stopped nob hill another meat loaf.  i need protein to heal my body.  home i ate onion potato meat loaf rested finally found mail.  i'm ok.  i know next year great.