who i am

i used to be obsessive.  i've never been loved.  my relationships have all been the same one.  i've been used.

ouch i touched my right temple.  the truth hurts and heals.  hurts down my right jaw.

i spent the night tossing turning.  my prayers are with my niece and nephews.  their mothers had children to protect themselves from loneliness.  trying to keep their husbands from leaving.  they've abused the children to ensure their captivity.  i couldn't do that.  i couldn't in good conscience raise more damaged human beings.  i couldn't add to the pain of the planet.  

going to senior lunch line gives me purpose.  i walked around the park.  i stretched.  checking the library i picked up movies.  i walked around the corner to neighborhood freebie and found a sony disc man works 2 batteries.  has ac outlet hurrah!  i have to find other cord or buy another $20.  might be better to buy since i know nothing electric.

i stopped at st j since they've been closed chris gave me 3 huge bags eggs, celery, squash, potatoes, bread, rice, creamer, coffee cake, yogurt raisins, tuna, frozen chicken, edamame, kiwi, cucumbers.