UP SINCE 4

FLASHING BACK TO 1160 LAWRENCE STA RD.  IT WAS JUST AS COLD AS NOW.  IT SNOWED.

THAT'S WHERE AND WHEN MY BODY BECAME LOCKED.  MOM'S VIOLENCE.  COOKING CLEANING FOR THE FAMILY.  SO MANY LIES.  CONSTANTLY SCAPEGOATED.  ALCOHOLIC WAIPAHU UNCLE VISITING, FOLLOWING THE FAMILY TRADITION.  MOM'S SHINTO SHRINE.  ONLY ME BEING BURNED WITH INCENSE TO EXPIATE THE FAMILY SINS.  GOING OUT OF BODY.

MOM AND DAD CONTINUED BEING KIDS WITH ME BEING THE FIELD HAND.  I WASN'T HIRED I NEVER GOT PAID.  AILEEN AND MITZI GOT MONEY FOR NOTHING.

WE GREW UP IN THAT HOUSE.  ALL OF US.  I HAVE FEW HAPPY MEMORIES AND MANY HORRIBLE TRAUMATIC ONES.  I JUST WANTED TO DISAPPEAR.  GOING OUT OF BODY WAS THE NEXT BEST THING.

IT'S TAKEN YEARS TO EXPERIENCE THE PAIN IN FREAKING DOSES TO REMAIN IN BODY.  I'M SO READY TO DIE.  I'M LIVING FOR GOD.  NOT DONE WITH ME YET.