MOM

WATCHING TV HAS ALWAYS SHOWN ME A DIFFERENT REALITY.  PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER.  MY MOM CONSTANTLY THREATENED ME 'I'LL KILL YOU'.  SHE CAME AT ME WITH SHEARS, BURNED ME, HIT, SLAPPED ME.

SHE TAUGHT ME TO HATE MYSELF.  IT'S SO DEEPLY HURTING.  STILL.

I'M HERE TO HEAL.

I TOOK MY SORE TIRED BODY TO $STORE AND ON TO SENIORS.  SO MANY ARE THERE FOR THE POSTURING.  WASTE OF ENERGY AND RESOURCES.  HOT TUB DID THE TRICK.

I DECIDED TO CHECK IN AND OUT CHROME AT MISSION.  I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT TOMORROW AT CENTRAL.  EASIER PARKING, SMALLER VENUE, PERSONAL LIBRARIAN.  ON TO CHASE.  I CONSIDERED STAR ONE AND DECIDED BECAUSE OF RAIN I'LL WAIT BUT CARLOS HAS MY CAR MONDAY FOR MAINTENANCE.  HMM...

I READ THE NEWSPAPER AND SAW 'IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE' 8 PM CHANNEL 11.  I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR COPY AND FINALLY FOUND IT.  I ALSO FOUND 'IT WAS A WONDERFUL LIFE' DOCUMENTARY 1992 ON INVISIBLE HOMELESS WOMEN.  USED AND ABANDONED BY A SYSTEM SEEING THEM AS WORTHLESS.  LIKE ME SINCE I GOT SICK.  I'M GETTING HEALTHIER,  MAYBE I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND LOU KILLED HERSELF AND THE PRODUCERS NOT HELPING THESE WOMEN WITHOUT WHOM THERE WOULDN'T BE A MOVIE.  WHAT GIVES?  THEY COULDN'T HELP THEM WITH SOME COMMUNAL HOUSING.

I DON'T GET IT.  NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

SO I DROVE TO STAR ONE AND BACK TO LIBRARY.  NEW BEHAVIOR.  WITH GOD EVERYTHING IS LIGHT; TRAFFIC, WEATHER.