my right hip hurts so badly i considered staying home. 2 back braces help. i took my time driving in the rain. it stopped as i arrived senior center. so i showered exercised stretched feeling better. i ate citrus drops all day because the pain caused nausea. 1972 i went to 4 doctors trying to alleviate my pain and nausea. i lost weight living on lemon drops not being able to eat.
5:45 pm toke left sushi. i didn't know what to eat for dinner and she brought it. i didn't want to drive more today. driving distorts my pelvis.
she called to let me know it was on front porch and i thanked her for dinner. i chopped some lettuce. i told her about Evelyn and George Gerraci. toke was concerned her dementia auntie was talking to deceased brother toke's dad. so i explained how the beloved come to help cross them over. George had Alzheimer's a year. each 2 nights before he passed Evelyn woke at 3 am by George talking with deceased relatives. then he peacefully went. Helen is doing the same by sleeping a lot. she's tired. i know the feeling. i must have more to do and be.
sat 10/23-i'm being gentle with myself practicing non judgment. so many 'should's in my head. i woke 3:30. dozed watching season 3 of 'mom' until 7 am. made jerky omelet added avocado in lettuce wrap. i have no appetite but get low blood sugar shakes. so i eat.
my skull and right neck hurt so badly i feel sick in my stomach. i took willow and massaging base of skull and right temple around eye socket. i'm crocheting pockets while i wait out the pain. i'm using the pain energy in my affirmations.
doing affirmations i raise my energy and therefor the energy of the planet. i know i'm clearing the negativity here. when i lived on radio ave a neighbor commented and commended me for raising the energy. my passion purpose is to leave this world a better place than when i came here.
sun 24-not driving is what my back needs. and not doing the yard or cleaning gutters on ladders in the rain as i've done so many years. the guilt nags at me. i just did mindlessly as i was trained to do. taking care of their business following orders that became unspoken i was so well trained, habituated. me and Pavlov.
3 pm break in the weather i put out recycle and garbage bins, picked up fruit, put it in shower to dry and noticed leaf clogged gutter is pulling away from garage roof. i can rejoice it's always going to be something and this is minor. wow i'm different. i'm rereading 'you can heal your life' 2017 printing.
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