AFTER WE CAME HERE. I WAS 4. AFTER A BIG SEND OFF IN HAWAII WE LANDED IN SAN FRANCISCO AT NIGHT THE LIGHTS OF THE CITY AND RUNWAY LOOKING LIKE FAIRY LAND. IMMIGRANTS TO A NEW WORLD. THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP ALONE IN THE COLD, QUIET AND DARK. EVERYONE I KNEW AND LOVED WHO LOVED ME GONE.
THUS BEGAN MY CHRONIC DEPRESSION. IT WAS WORSE AFTER MITZI WAS BORN UNTIL SHE WAS 6 MONTHS. THEN I HAD A LIVE DOLL TO RAISE. MY RESPONSIBILITY. AILEEN WAS 10 NOT JUST TWICE AS OLD BUT TWICE AS BIG. I WAS TRAPPED, IMPRISONED WITH BULLIES. AILEEN PERFECTED HER SADISM.
I WAS POWERLESS, TORMENTED. MY ATTENTION DEFICIT GAVE ME RESPITE. I WOULDN'T HAVE SURVIVED OTHERWISE.
MY TV PROGRAMS GIVE ME HOPE FOR A HAPPIER LIFE. WATCHING WHAT I WANT, CREATING THE LIFE I CHOOSE TO LIVE. I'M WATCHING SYBIL WITH A NEW UNDERSTANDING. SHE WAS AN ONLY CHILD CATCHING THE ENTIRE FORCE OF HER CRAZY MOTHER. I HAD 1/3 MOM HAD 1/6. MAYBE THAT'S HOW OLD TIME FAMILIES SURVIVED. DAD HAD 1/5. HIS OLDER BROTHER DIED.
I FOUND THE TWO DONUTS FROM FRIDAY I THOUGHT I ATE.
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