PANIC

I NEVER HAD THE LUXURY OF SHOWING FEAR.  MY FAMILY WOULD ATTACK ME.  THEY TEASED, HUMILIATED AND CRITICIZED WITHOUT MERCY.  I ASKED MY MOTHER ONCE WHY SHE WAS SO MEAN TO ME SHE SAID IT WAS TO TOUGHEN ME UP.  MY SISTERS HER PRINCESSES WERE MEAN AND CRUEL LIKE HER.  THAT'S WHAT THEY CONSIDERED TOUGH.  MEAN AND CRUEL PEOPLE ARE WEAK.  IT'S MUCH TOUGHER TO BE NICE AND THOUGHTFUL.

I'VE RECREATED THE JUMBLE I HAD LIVING IN SAN JOSE, RADIO AVE.  WHEN I WAS MOVING FROM GILROY I ASKED FOR GUIDANCE AND ON WAKING THE SONG 'ON THE RADIO' PLAYED IN MY HEAD.  I HAD LOOKED AT A DOZEN APARTMENTS.  EACH APPLICATION CHARGED $10 FOR A CREDIT CHECK.  I APPLIED THIS ONLY AND THEY CALLED ME THE SAME DAY ACCEPTING.  I WAS STILL WORKING EL TORO MORGAN HILL.  I COMMUTED EASILY IN THE OFF COMMUTE DIRECTION.

I HAD YET TO GET MY DIVORCE.  IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO MOVE FROM GILROY.  I WAS PRETTY HAPPY LIVING RADIO.  GOT SICK DID VISION QUEST, WON GYM MEMBERSHIP.  THE ONLY THING I MISS NOW.  I STARTED DOING KARAOKE LINCOLN AV LOCAL BAR WITH ERIC.  LIKE HE CAME TO MY LOCATION.

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS TERRIFIED OF MICROPHONES UNTIL I GOT UP TO SING.

TOM PROMISED WATER FILTER DELIVERY DECIDED I PICK THEM UP FROM DELLA.  I TALKED TO HER HALF HOUR MOVING AROUND FRONT DOOR.  NOTHING FROM THEM IS A GIFT, THERE'S ALWAYS A PRICE.