woke to blogger down my posts disconnected. i finally got everything back for as long as it lasts. the new format took over. i had to reset to legacy.
my depression and sadness of a lifetime i'm still processing. i'm tired. i want to feel happy. i'm crying. releasing waves of disappointment.
i'm mourning dad's 9/5 death. reliving my exhaustion. we had no sleep that week because of alien's manipulating mom, nit and dad into the 2 chiropractor visits that killed dad to die tortured in unbearable pain. alien's bad karma. too sad. i can't watch.
all yesterday's body work released the pain and fear stored from a time i couldn't express it. mom had already tried to kill herself in '93. there was too much to do still.
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