9;44 #4 car. i haven't brought chrome in a long time. nothing to say. hiding in my misery running from the pain that's within me. reading 'standing in the rainbow'. even tho' it's 68 o it must be humid. good for tropical plants not me. maybe if i'd grown up in hi i'd be different. it would explain yesterday my 96 o temperature.
nothing needs doing. with all the family emergencies and trauma drama i value the peace and quiet. i guess most people can't understand my thirst for peace. they seek out drama and trauma programming their lives to find disaster. they are entertained. they don't entertain themselves. we all have an auto pilot. some call it god and question the results they create. ex and alien cried complaining they didn't intend to hurt me but kept doing it. i guess they thought i'd keep bouncing back. i can't. we live in a limited universe and i reached beyond my limit.
i haven't received a reply from fannie and don't expect to and it's ok. life hasn't been easy for her either. she has the gift to create in her imagination a better world. i've always been in survival mode little time to imagine a better world but that's what it takes. if one soldier says today i will not fight.
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