later

i stayed abed 8;20.  restless night rescued by additional rest.  i'm sleeping to stretch dvd to program health.  my theory on subliminal learning.  i think most of what we learn is unconscious. 

i resisted over doing, hurrah!!  i'm re watching 'murder, he says'.  1944.  so funny and reassuring, soothing.  i think because everyone is enjoying themselves.  a dark comedy that feels light. 

i have a full week to do laundry.  while i love clean clothes i love feeling good more. 

i think i hope i've left the family behind.  they are predators not understanding prey have feelings.  when i remember the past i feel differently.  when i remember the past i'm distanced from the old feelings.  i can remember without pain without overwhelming sadness.  i still have a twinge in the pit of my stomach but the rest of my body feels free.  and a new kind of tired.  relaxed.  well earned.  a job well done.

9;46 #2 car i wrote out bills, planned next month.  it was lovely weather.  the air is better not yet good.  my eyes still sting.  i drove to main forgetting wednesday 3-7 hours.  dropped off boat.  parking lot packed covid testing at st just so i dropped off john avocados picked up 2 ham cheese sandwiches, potatoes, eggs, carrots, onions, peppers, apple, 2 pears, snacks. 

i can't believe cops murdered breonna taylor and got away with it.  means it's open season on non whites.  trump world white supremacist attitude means more murders.  i thought the bushes were the devils but they only stole money from everyone.  they didn't single out nonwhites for murder.