memories of mom grabbing me by one arm and hitting me 'til i stopped crying. how i learned to disassociate. one reason we moved. that's why auntie k wanted to adopt me so mom wouldn't kill me. it's starting to make more and more sense. alien torturing me satisfied mom and alien avoided beatings. that's where my sisters learned to mistreat me, from mom.
my back and stomach screaming. i'm waiting for herbs to kick in. nicotine gum helps. stretching minimal help. my back neck, right hip, left tailbone. hurting so bad i'm nauseated. hope i don't throw up. sipping grapefruit.
i'm using yoga ball for a back pillow. so much popping and crackling.
i dragged myself to dentist for deep cleaning dr alex wonderful did it. carefully explained procedure. numbed me. only 20 minutes. irrigated with antiseptic. had to wait half hour to rinse. picked up lunch 10;18 #5 car. chili relleno casserole easy to eat. squash and onions. i like it.
i noticed my shoulders hunched and anxious lay down before i fell down. i slept 2 hours to 'swift' dvd. about a bird raised by seagulls. creates his own flock when both flocks are prejudiced.
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