test run

i'm checking alarm clock.  i haven't needed one in years.  tomorrow 8 am appointment i can pay pge at walmart before or after physical.  after probably better.  i have to leave 7;30 latest.

after 9;41 #2 lunch pick up i went to main pick up requests stood in long line 40 minutes.  feel ok.  hot and sweaty standing in partial sun.  4 dvds 1 book.  white old lady in front of me bitching over having to wait for free materials after 30 days of smoke finally able to breathe and she uses it bitching.

i came home.  i don't have to use my energy for john or toke.  i can harvest plant.  a new concept of putting me first.  i keep forgetting and remembering.  new behaviors are like this.

i think i know my passion.  natural healing health.  i don't know 'til i test it.  i think i finally drank my last kombucha.  i kept buying it clearance by mistake.  different brands interesting flavors unclear labels.  i don't like it but i guess i need it.  drank it for years when paula nunes(cupertino metaphysical book store owner) gave me a mushroom.

i met and found her bookstore one day shopping.  while driving lawrence expressway i heard 3 sharp knocks on the back window and said ok what's the message.  i drove to wolfe homestead shopping center into the back parking lot where i'd never been and didn't know there were any stores.  i entered the book store and looked around introducing myself to paula, admitting i had no idea why i was there and she invited me to sit.  i browsed.  half hour later liz morse walked in.  she made and sold cards on consignment there.  i had just quit working palo alto community church and was selling mary kay.  she had $125 for her birthday and wanted skin care.  i showed her products at her home in mountain view and lacked one item.  i delivered her missing product meeting her at san jose recovery book store on camden av with which i was already familiar.  she was meeting her women's group and i met momma delorise lucas for the first time.  i drove san tomas expressway every traffic signal green and looked at the posters wondering who she was and what her credentials were and how she came there.  when her group showed up i already knew most of them from different church groups.  momma proceeded to answer every question i had thought.  she finished saying she had no idea why she shared all that with us.  i raised my hand admitting my questioning her provenance.  TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT.  when she had walked into the room i could feel waves of love coming from her.  she could see my entire life and loved me.  they invited me to lunch with them but i ran home 10 am, changed into my pajamas and stayed in bed.