Thursday, April 18, 2013


The most obvious when God saved my life twice by avoiding head on collisions.  Once newark train trestle X driving and coast highway with nancy and rod me driving. 

Then living in Gilroy doing the Course in a year cuz it was so simple.  And now every day is a miracle.

SomeOne Loves Me-Smoke Again

Boston Marathon Bombings Monday Apr 15 and I was already medicated.  I started smoking again when Walgreen's had Bugler tobacco for $1.32.  It helped me thru cleanup and then on the news I saw the reports.  I was nu-stepping.  Too much violence. 

Then I watch Obama reply to the defeat of the latest gun control law.  I know how he feels.  Anger and depression, sadness that people put money ahead of people.  Their families must be low on their list of priorities. 

I wonder if their families get depressed being related to such money grubbing selfish animals.  No, even animals have higher morals.

So, yesterday I worked in yard for 2 1/2 hrs.  Feels better to get rid of chemicals.

I'm so much better.  My back is still unstable and I still wear the brace.  TYG

Friday, April 12, 2013

3/26/12-Almost One Year Ago Smoke and Quit Again

Smoked about a year.  And quit again.  Tomas has been wonderful helping around the yard. 

Two weeks ago Walgreens had nic-lozenges on sale.  So when I ran out of smokes I used the lozenges.  Didn't really think about it.  Been feeling too much to think.

Feeling panic, fear, doom.  The family heritage. 

Great dream vision of comedies fraught with crises.  I don't want comedy I want a new form of life.