Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Life cannot get too good

I've been managing anxiety and nausea all this week.  I've been losing and then finding things in weird places.  I feel like I'm losing my mind and I guess I'm losing my old mind.  I took a Bupropion at 5 am.  My homeowner's insurance went up $134 and I dreaded calling Annie Dang to find out why.  So today I sat while puzzling and prayed and the puzzling went great so I turned it over to God.  I called and it was NO BIG DEAL.  My anxiety was because mom and dad's name on the policy brought back those bad feelings.  An  opportunity to reprogram my feelings. 

Dr. Adriane Ahern was on PBS this last weekend to remind me to breathe and how to change everything about me and my life.  Hurray!!  God!!!

I'm so blessed to be loved by God. 

Took my dvds back to S.Clara library and stopped at St Justin's for toys and 3 pants half off. 

I'm still concerned with money and there's a mtg next month for home repairs.  Hope I remember to go.  I'll turn it over to God.

Wow this is all over the place like my reprogramming.  Glad God's in charge.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Oh Happy Day!!!-Self-Punishment BGone

This blog is a great way to file my thoughts and not have them cluttering up the house.

Hanging out at the library.  They called w/hold so I thought I'd check the ads. 

Forgot my internet list of look-ups.  I'm doing what I want and I don't need to punish myself!!  Yelled at a cow in the locker room yesterday.  She could see I had my things on one bench, packing my case and she asks if I can move over.  To where, the floor??  So I flashed thought and decided to let the bitch have my bench.  I moved all my things to the next bench and told her that's why God loves me.  I asked if she was german or dutch with her thick accent.  She denied.  Then where did her sense of entitlement come from I asked.  She was suddenly quiet.  So I finished dressing, packing and left.  Puzzled for awhile and laughed to myself.  THEY have such a hard time finding anything to add. 

Then I noticed my necklace was missing.  I went back to the gym and it was on the front desk.  Hurray!!!

No more self-punishment habit.  Sacrificing things i love.  Also, I couldn't find my monocle.  Then mysteriously it shows up in the bedroom as I'm fixing the bed for sleep.  And the Butterfly belt buckle disappeared from my purse and after emptying it out and searching twice it reappeared the next day.  I've felt like smoking, of course.  And every so often I do.  When it's available.  My life is SO freaky.