Wednesday, March 15, 2017

BETTER

I MANAGED NOT TO BE SICK.  I BABIED MYSELF AND I'M FEELING BETTER. 


I DREAMED OF CHEVY CHASE AND HE SAID HIS B'DAY IS XMAS 1999.  I'LL BE 18.  I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HIM BEING MY ALTER EGO. 


THE CHILD IN ME IS SO TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE.  I DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF ANYONE BUT ME.



Tuesday, March 14, 2017

SANS BELT-FEELING LOST

SLEPT 10-12:44 STOMACHE.  MY DOING.  IT WAS HOT 78 SO I STAYED SRS 'TIL 5:45 SANS BELT, PUZZLING.  WORTH IT.  TOOK 2 KAVA AND SLEPT 4-5-6:30.  READ CUZ THE DVD WOULDN'T LOAD.  MY LEGS ARE SO STIFF AND SORE.  FEELING OLD TOO.


TODAY IS HOT 80 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO.  LIBRARY CAMPBELL, MAIN.  OR HOME. 


T CALLED AND LEFT MESSAGE.  I FORGOT MY PHONE AT HOME YESTERDAY.  HE MAY PLANT SECOND LILAC TODAY. 


I THOUGHT ABOUT RETIRING SOC SEC.  I GUESS I HAVE A LOT TO CONSIDER.  AND THE CHANGES TO MY LIFE.  MY HOUSE.  MY WORK. 


ST JUST SUNDAY WAS GOOD.  CORNED BEEF PLENTY, CABBAGE, BABY CARROTS, HALF POTATO.  ST PADDY'S DAY EARLY.


SO MANY SENIORS HAVE POOR HEARING AND EYESIGHT.  I THINK WE'RE TO LEARN LISTENING TO THE INNER VOICE.



Saturday, March 11, 2017

GROWING UP IS HARD



BIG CHILDREN RARELY HAVE A CHILDHOOD.  EVERYONE EXPECTS THEM TO ACT OLDER THAN THEY ARE. 


AND KIDS NOWADAYS HAVE NO CHILDHOOD.  THEY'RE EXPECTED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.  POOR UNDEVELOPED BRAINS. 


I WOULDN'T BE YOUNGER FOR ANYTHING.  NOT MONEY.  MAYBE HEALTH THOUGH.  IF I COULD BE IN GREAT PHYSICAL CONDITION INSTEAD OF RELIVING MY CHILDHOOD I'D PROBABLY JUST LIVE AND FORGET THE INTROSPECTION. 


SOCRATES' UNEXAMINED LIFE CAN JUST BE FUN?  MAYBE THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT.  AN UNEXAMINED LIFE MAY BE DOOMED TO CRASH AND BURN.  I DID.  I DIDN'T THINK OF THE RESULTS OF CARING FOR MY PARENTS AND FINDING OUT THE FAMILY SECRETS AND HAVING TO REJECT DENIAL AS AN EFFECTIVE COPING DEVICE UNLIKE MY SISSES. 

I DIDN'T CONSIDER THE FALLOUT.



Saturday, March 4, 2017

DOUGLAS ADAMS 2016



I CAN'T QUITE ACCEPT YET I FOUND THE DVD FIRST.  IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN LIVING THE SYNCHRONICITY LIFE.  WHAT IF HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE BEFORE HITCHHIKER MOVIE KILLED HIM?  I WAS SO SAD HE DIED BEFORE IT CAME OUT.  IT REALLY WAS A MESS.  IT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SERIES OF FILMS.  THE TV SERIES WAS BETTER EVEN IF IT WAS CHEESY.


SPEAKING OF CHEESY, I HAD POTATO CHEESE SOUP FROM BEAR CREEK MIX DELLA MADE AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.  JUST ADD WATER.  THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE.


AND WITH TECHNOLOGY NOW THE APPEARANCE OF LIFE IS INFINITE WITH MOTION CAPTURE AND COMPUTERS.







I'M LIKING MY LIFE SOMETIMES. 

Saturday, February 25, 2017

STILL LAZARUS


I'M BIDING MY TIME.  THE WEATHER IS WARM, SUNNY, ALL AROUND AWESOME.  MY BODY IS STILL TEACHING ME. 

I READ ABOUT THE LAZARUS EFFECT.  RISING FROM THE DEAD.  DYING TO THE PAST.  AN ARTICLE IN DAILY WORD FOR NEXT MONTH, MARCH. 

SHE JUST HAD THE FLU.

I'VE BEEN THERE YEARS AGO. 

NOW FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIFE. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

LUCID DREAM

A WEEK OF TORTURE TO GENTLE ME TO ACCEPTANCE.  I WANT TO DO IT DIFFERENTLY.


BRIGHT LIGHTS.  I'M MIA (ME*A) FARROW (GIVE BIRTH TO PIGS) AS A CHILD HOLDING BLUE GLADIOLAS, THE ONLY THING TO DEFLECT GHOSTS.  THE BLUE=SAD, THE GLADIOLAS=GLAD.  I CAN SEE GHOSTS.  SHE'S A LATCH KEY KID LIKE ME.  POWERLESS ACTING MOM.


A BACK DOOR SOLUTION.  THE CONVOLUTED PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT WITHOUT FREAKING OUT.  I'VE BEEN SO STUBBORN(MIDDLE ENGLISH, STY BORN, PIGS AGAIN).  WHY DO THEY ASSUME PIGS ARE INTRACTABLE?  LIKE MULES.




SECOND DREAM MIKE E BATHROOM, I FLUSH FILTH DOWN TOILET.  EXORCIST.


DREAMS ARE THE REAL ENERGY SOURCE AND THIS WORLD IS THE SHADOW.  DREAMS ARE VISITS TO THE WORLD WE CAME FROM AND ARE GOING BACK TO HOPEFULLY EVOLVED.  WE DREAM TO RESOLVE AND READY FOR THE TRANSITION BACK.


DELORISE LUCAS WANTED ME TO USE MY ORDINATION.  APRIL 1, NOT A JOKE.


DROPPED THE CEREAL BOWL AND BROKE.  I DIDN'T CARE.  I SWEPT UP THE POWDERED MILK AND TOSSED THE PIECES. 


I'M OK.


AND GETTING BETTER.  EXORCISING THE GHOSTS IN MY LIFE.  THEIR DISTRACTING INFLUENCE. 

Friday, February 17, 2017

TWEEN



THIS A M I DREAMED OF MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER.  I'M RE-RAISING MYSELF AND I'M RECONNECTING WITH MYSELF IN NEW WAYS.


I'M TESTING MYSELF TO CONTINUE TO FUNCTION IN NEW WAYS. 


SO FAR, SO GOOD.  MINOR ATTENTION LAPSES.  NOTHING NEW, JUST NEW WAYS.


I THINK THE KITCHEN SINK BLOCKAGE IS DUE TO GREASE BUILDUP.  I JUST NEED TO CLEAR IT AND GET AN ESTIMATE ON A NEW GARBAGE DISPOSAL:  DISPOSALL.


THE SKYLIGHT IS DRY AS THE DESERT IN SUMMER.