Saturday, April 21, 2018

changes

I DON'T LIKE IT.  BASED ON HISTORY IT'S BETTER AND I RESIST.  I AWOKE TO A DREAM OF A IN THE GARAGE GOING THROUGH THE BOXES OF FABRIC.

IN REALITY SHE WENT THROUGH THE ENTIRE HOUSE, TOOK EVERYTHING SHE COULD TURN INTO CASH, MOM'S AND MINE, AND STUCK WHAT SHE DIDN'T WANT FROM HER HOUSE AND HERE IN THE GARAGE.  I FEEL SAD.  I DON'T KNOW FROM WHAT.  IT'S BEEN THE SAME SINCE MOM DIED IN 2001.  I'M  STILL FEELING SAD.

THE SADNESS HAS BEEN BUILDING ALL WEEK.  THE NEW TV SEASON.  THE GUIDE CHANNEL IS NOW A RELIGIOUS 24 HR.  INGA IS BACK THANK GOODNESS.  SHE'S THE BACKBONE OF THE GROUP.  HER QUIET STEADY PRESENCE.  AND MARIA A SAT AT OUR TABLE.  I SIT IN MARIA O'S SPOT, I JUST NOW REALIZED.

I JUST REMEMBERED WHEEL.  AND I REMEMBERED THE ANSWER OF THE BONUS FROM LAST NIGHT.  I'M RECONNECTING SYNAPSES.


Friday, April 20, 2018

SO COMFORTABLE

TOO COMFORTABLE?  I ALMOST FORGOT TO PAY DISCOVER AND I DID FORGET PGE.   PGE AND COMCAST HAVE NO LATE FEES. 

SO I GUESS IT'S OK.  I PRIDE MYSELF ON TIMELINESS.  DANGER SUSAN.  PRIDE GOES BEFORE THE FALL.

I FEEL LIKE CRYING.


Thursday, April 19, 2018

GAMES

BUZZR TV HAS SOME GAMES I LIKE TO TUNE MY BRAIN.  NOW YOU SEE IT, BLOCKBUSTERS, SALE OF THE CENTURY, SUPERMARKET SWEEP.

EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE FOR MY PERSONAL HEAVEN.  I'M ENJOYING MORE OF THE THINGS I LIKE.  THE THINGS I BUY FOR OTHERS I'M USING. 

I'M USING THE GROCERIES I BOUGHT. 


Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I DIDN'T FLINCH

SUNDAY WAS JINNY'S 94TH B'DAY.  SHE TOLD ME LAST WEEK AND I FORGOT, SHE REMINDED ME AGAIN TODAY AT LUNCH.  THEY ARE SO FORGIVING AND ACCEPTING.

MOZQUITO MAN WAS BUZZING IN MY EAR WHILE I WAS PUZZLING SO I GOT UP TO GO EXERCISE AND HE ASKED ME WHY I WAS LEAVING SO I TOLD HIM.  HE WAS UPSET.  DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANT MY TRUTH.  I THINK I SHOCKED MY LADIES.  HE PUSHED THE PUZZLE TABLE AGAINST THE WINDOW, TURNED HIS BACK TO THE ROOM AND STARTED ANOTHER PUZZLE.  I TOLD KIMO UP IN THE COMPUTER ROOM SO HE WOULDN'T BE SHOCKED.

INGA WAS BACK.  SHE LOOKED TIRED UNTIL LUNCH.  FOOD WAS GROSS.  YESTERDAY AND TODAY.  I STILL TOOK TWO MEATBALLS.

I WAS HOME 12;40.


Sunday, April 15, 2018

PSYCHIC BLESSINGS

I'VE AVOIDED TWO HEAD ON CAR COLLISIONS.  THAT SMALL STILL VOICE.

I'VE HAD DREAMS THAT I ENCOUNTERED IN REALITY.  DREAMS LEADING ME TO HAPPINESS.

I'VE LIVED INTUITIVELY.  BEING LOGICAL LED ME TO A HORRIBLE LIFE.  MY CHILDHOOD PROGRAMMED ME TO TAKE CARE OF HORRIBLE, SELFISH PEOPLE.  I COULD HAVE CHOSEN TO CONTINUE A SAD LIFE OBSERVING PEOPLE SELF-DESTRUCT BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T WILLING TO CHANGE.  THAT WAS MY FORM OF SELF DESTRUCTION.

I DECIDED I'D HAD ENOUGH.  I CHOSE TO CREATE A DIFFERENT LIFE.  IT'S NEW AND  SCARY ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE WITH HAPPINESS.  AND TOTALLY WORTH IT.

I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION UNTIL PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION REMOVED THE WALLS OF MY PAST LIVES.  WHY WOULD GOD HAVE US LIVE IN THE THIRD GRADE OVER AND OVER?  OUR FREE WILL DEMANDED REINCARNATION.  SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE IN FOR IT TO WORK.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

STARTING WITH THE PIZZA

I'M CELEBRATING BEING ME.  I'VE BEEN COMING HOME EARLY PLANNING ON MAKING THIS MY HOME.  I'VE NEVER HAD A HAVEN=HEAVEN.  I'M EATING POTATOES, SALAD, GOOD STUFF AND DESSERT.  CANDIES, FRUIT, WHATEVER I WANT.  YESTERDAY I ATE TWO DRUMSTICK ICE CREAM CONES. 

I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING STOLEN IN A WHILE.  HURRAY!!

THE SUGAR MAKES ME SO ITCHY.  I COULD MOVE AROUND MORE.  DANCE.  JUST ACT GOOFY MY FAVORITE.  BURN OFF THE EXCESS.