Tuesday, February 20, 2018

I WANT

I'M STILL RECOVERING.  I STAYED UP 'TIL 11:30 TO READ JOY.  SO WORTH IT.  AWOKE 5:22 AND TOOK MY TIME.  I STILL HAD ENOUGH GAS FOR ONE MORE DAY AND THE HOLIDAY PRICE CHANGES TOMORROW. 

AFTER SRS  I FINISHED READING JOY.  I COULDN'T RENEW THIRD TIME AND SAW ONLINE A COPY AT CUPERTINO.  I RETURNED CAMPBELL AND BORROWED CUP. 

THE SR HOT TUB IS CLOSED.  I CAN GO TOMORROW AFTER COSTCO GAS.  I COULD HAVE GONE TODAY ON THE WAY HOME BUT I'M BABYING MYSELF.

TYGJ.


Monday, February 19, 2018

PREZ DAY

VERY WINDY.  SO MY ALLERGIES ARE RAMPANT.  I'M VERGING ON CATCHING A COLD.  SO I'M RESTING, TAKING VIT C, BLOWING MY NOSE A LOT. 

I WENT TO G2, SFWY; SOAP, SOUP.  SV LIB RETURNED DVDS.  HOME BY 11:30, LUNCH CHILI.  FOR DINNER I NUKED BROCCOLI, GRAVY, TURKEY.  T CALLED 4:30 CHECKING IN. 

I HAD THINGS PLANNED BUT THE ICY WIND PRECLUDED MY PLANS.  I CAN ALWAYS DO CHORES LATER, I CAN PLANT THE AMARYLLIS TOMORROW. 


Sunday, February 18, 2018

JUST PLAYING

YEAY!  I WENT TO G2, FOUND TV LIST, SAME HELENE SWIMSUIT, FUR HAT.  DECIDED TO GO TO MARIA SFWY FOR PHONE, SUNDAY PAPER, CLEARANCE; FOUND 4 FROZEN DINNERS HALF OFF.

LUCKY'S 3 BAGS CHIPS, FREE MCCORMICK SEASONING.  HOME UNTIL 12:15 ST JUSTIN I SHARED T'S BAG OF CUTIES.  LUNCH; MEATLOAF, POTATO WEDGES, SALAD, ROLLS W/BUTTER, ICE CREAM SANDWICH.  I BOUGHT ZERO AND WON $3 BINGO.

AT MLIB I WATCHED PADDINGTON.  A LITTLE THREATENING.  I DECIDED TO LEAVE AT 4 PM AND SOMEONE WAS LYING IN LOBBY.  EMT'S CAME.  I WENT POTTY AND FOUND ROLL OF BIN BAGS.

PRODUCTIVE DAY.  TYGJ.


Friday, February 16, 2018

i'm afraid

WHEN LIFE FEELS TOO GOOD I AWAIT DISASTER.  ALL THE PUNISHMENT FOR ENJOYING MYSELF WAS CONDITIONED INTO MY PSYCHE.  I MUST CONCENTRATE, GOVERN MY THOUGHTS.  MIND IS A TOOL.  I CAN'T ALLOW MY MIND FREE REIGN TO RUN OLD PROGRAMS.  I MUST STAY IN CHARGE.  THAT STUBBORN TWO YEAR OLD MIND.  I CAN DO IT.




Tuesday, February 13, 2018

my stomach hurts

I AWOKE 3:48.  I'M OK. OLD KINDERHOOK.  SRS SWELL.  AND NOW I'M HOME GETTING MORE REST.  I CAN CONSCIOUSLY MOVE MY AB MUSCLES.  HURRAY!!

I CAN SEE MY PULSE SO THE LAYER OF FAT IS LESS, I ONLY NEED TO TONE THE MUSCLES.  MY BACK AND HIPS HURT MORE, THE NERVES ARE ALIVE AGAIN.  WAHHH....

I WAS UPSET YESTERDAY SC LIB KEPT SV WODEHOUSE FROM LAST WEEK AND I PAID $1.20 OVERDUE 4 DAYS.  I WENT FIRST TO SC AND THEN AFTER JEOPARDY AT HOME SV.

IF I HADN'T GONE TO SV LIB I WOULDN'T HAVE FOUND WAGONS EAST.  WATCHED IT AND THE SIMPSON MOVIE UNTIL I GOT READY FOR "SCHOOL".  I HAPPILY COULD GET USED TO THIS.

Monday, February 12, 2018

i don't know

i don't want to know.  I WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW FOR ME.  I WANT TO BE CARE FREE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.  NOT STRESSING ABOUT SURVIVAL.

THE DIGITAL CONVERTER BOX REMOTE DIED.  IT JUST STOPPED.  I ENVY IT.  I KNOW THE OTHER SIDE IS CARE FREE.


Saturday, February 10, 2018

SO TIRED

I SPENT MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD FEELING SAD, DEPRESSED,REPRESSED, SUPPRESSED AND TIRED OF CONTROLLING MYSELF TO NOT GET PUNISHED.  ANY ATTENTION BROUGHT PUNISHMENT.

AS AN ADULT I FELT SORRY FOR MOM AND TRIED TO BRIGHTEN HER LIFE.  SHE RIDICULED ME.  IT MADE HER HAPPY TO BELITTLE ME.  I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THAT BEHAVIOR CAN BE CHOSEN AS A VIABLE MEANS TO HAPPINESS.

I'M FEELING LOST.  MY  SINUSES ARE SO SORE.  MY ALLERGIES MAKE ME FEEL TIRED.  I COULDN'T SLEEP UNTIL 1:30 AND AWOKE EARLY 5:30.

T CALLED TO INVITE ME TO HEAT UP THE RIBS I BOUGHT FOR SUPER SUNDAY.  AFTER SRS I WENT AND ASKED HIM FOR HELP WITH CALTRAIN SCHEDULES FOR NEXT MONTH WORLDMARK.  HE COOKED VEGGIE RICE.   HE PRINTED OUT ITINERARY.

MY BACK HURTS.  I FEEL SAD AND USELESS LIKE I DID FLAT ON MY BACK 2001-2008  UNTIL I GOT A OFF MY BACK.  SHE HIRED PAT VORREITER TO HARASS ME AGAIN, REFUSED AN AUDIT.  ONLY STOPPED WHEN I SUGGESTED SIGNING OFF $700 K FOR THE HOUSE.  MITZI WAS AFRAID OF EMBEZZLING CHARGES AND AGREED. 

18 YEARS OF WORKING JUST TO KEEP LIVING.  IF I DIE ALL HER GUILT IS ALLEVIATED.

THE COMMERCIALS FOR ABUSED ANIMALS MAKE ME ANGRY.  WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN?  EVERY DAY MORE STORIES IN THE NEWS OF CHILD MURDERS AND ABUSE.