Sunday, March 17, 2024

walking to nob hill and movie 'deception 1946

reminds me when i started back into life from being bed ridden for 8 years.  i wrecked my back carrying mom and dad.  it almost killed me.  they killed my old life.  

once a week sunday i struggled to walk .2 mile to the store for a newspaper.  i frequently doubted i'd survive.  i figured it was better than lying in bed.  that was 20 years ago and here i am again.  another level up on the spiral of life.  my sisters were torturing me with lies and threats of eviction and physical violence.  i cut them out of my life like the cancers they are.  some people don't get cancer they give cancer.  eric's mom was toxic.  that's why some families get it.  it's not hereditary it's toxic proximity.  that's why some don't develop it.  they stay away.  they divorce themselves from the toxic ones.  

i'm remembering.  gathering bits of myself.  despite the wrecked car or because of it.  i wasn't able to drive then.  i had friends drive me for groceries and to the doctor.  i couldn't sit in a chair or upright in a car.  i could barely walk my back was so unstable.  

bette davis such a brilliant actress.  paul henreid, claude rains.  a welcome diversion.  a great movie.

i defrosted pollock and simmered with diced roasted tomatoes for fish stew.  heated cooked rice.  so good.  i decided not to save it for later.  i'm eating it now.  

Saturday, March 16, 2024

ready 8:08

walked to nob hill hopper open 9 am sat's.  meme there bought salad, 6 burrito, chips.  
i harvested shepherd's purse put in bucket w/water.

tiron half hour wait.  2 blocks from center detoured to pick up woman w/ walker.  told me to move, lectured woman she can't rely on him to load walker.  she can't.  oh, welll.

i swam saw melvin in gym i asked for ride.  i waited upstairs on puzzle.  11:45 i went looking for melvin wandering around parking lot.  he didn't remember me telling him where i'd be.  i don't understand how they drive and my car is wrecked.

home noon.  walking must have exhausted me.  after salad safeway signature cheese sauce, epic pork crackings, cheddar cheese sandwich i slept for 3 hours.

Friday, March 15, 2024

t iron

another fry day.  lunch st pat's tiny serving corned beef cabbage.  ran out of cabbage and cookies.  i saved table for everyone.  it's what i do who i am.  played bingo i won snack bar.  read magazine.  big bev got her shirt from helen and won a game.  jane won too.  new gal with talky flirty hubby won chose a puzzle.  he's so funny.  like it was a million.  

melvin offered a ride but i had already called and they were sending ramon.

Thursday, March 14, 2024

1160 lawrence sta rd

flashback my 5 year old self waiting for the bus.  

ramon picked me up quickly.  he recognized my address.  he remembers our conversations.  it's so nice to be validated.

good swim.  lunch ok.  everyone coming for st pat day we'll need the whole table.  i called bartolo after lunch he said he'd drive me to sunny library 3 pm.  3:20 i called to remind him.  4 pm i returned spot and picked up holds.  done and done.  

9:30 pm i'm not missing spot.  i don't feel deprived of the internet like i used to.  

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

just breathe

i still don't know what i'm doing or why.  my back, neck, digestion feel better.  

the beauty of yoga is it can be done anytime, anywhere.  whenever i think of it i can focus on isometric exercises.  not driving is allowing my back to rebalance itself.  

my knee is still sore a little swollen mallory said to go back to doc.  

the freedom to just sit.  mom always forced me to keep busy doing for the whole family i thought i was cinderella.  

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

blogs keep disappearing

tyron drove me to and from seniors.  he parked in front so i didn't have to cross the street.  i'm amazed.  lunch was good spaghetti and meat sauce.  i puzzled 'til 2:30 called for hopper.  tyron always half hour after projected time.  dispatcher julia my favorite.  clear concise perfectly paced.  

and kelly howell super learning.  my music disappeared too.  i listened to tina cd not being read.  it's ok.