Friday, July 13, 2018

Thursday, July 12, 2018

GOOD GIRL

I'M DOING MY BEST.  I WATCHED WRINKLE IN TIME WEDNESDAY.  IT WAS SO HOT I STAYED IN THE LIBRARY.  I WALKED TO ST J WITH A WET BANDANA  AND TOLERATED THE HEAT BEAUTIFULLY. 


Monday, July 9, 2018

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

I'M TERRIFIED AFTER SPENDING 67 YRS NUMBED TO LIFE.  I'M FEELING EVERY LITTLE THING.

NO WONDER MOST PEOPLE ARE UNCONSCIOUS.  THEY'RE NUMB.

I DROVE TO CSAA TOTALLY STRESSED OUT.  I LET GOD.  MOST OF MY LIFE IS A BIG BLUR.  BECAUSE OF MY ABUSIVE FAMILY I SHUT DOWN ALL EMOTIONS.  MEMORIES ARE ANCHORED BY EMOTIONS. 

CREATING REQUIRES EMOTION.  FOR MY LIFE TO EVOLVE I HAVE TO USE MY EMOTIONS TO CREATE A BIGGER BETTER LIFE.  LOVE AND ANGER ARE GREAT MOTIVATORS.  THEY DRIVE CREATION. 

Friday, July 6, 2018

JUST ENOUGH

I'VE BEEN DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO.  I NO LONGER FORCE MYSELF BEYOND MY LIMITS.  I CAN REST.  IT'S BEEN EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY HARD REINING MYSELF IN AND SO WORTH IT.


Wednesday, July 4, 2018

A NEW ME-FREEDOM DAY

I'M DOING WHAT I WANT.  I'M NOT EXHAUSTED.  I CAN FEEL WHEN I'M TIRED.  I WAS TRAINED TO IGNORE MY FEELINGS AND WAS USED TO DRIVING MYSELF BEYOND ENDURANCE, GETTING SICK.

AND THAT'S HOW TAKING CARE OF THE PARENTS MADE ME SICK AND TRYING TO PLACATE THE SIBS KEPT ME THAT WAY.

I WENT TO WALGREEN'S, $ANTA, $DOLLAR TREE, SAVER'S, FOOD MAXX, HOME W/4 TV DINNERS.  I HAVE CHIPS, SNACKS, EVERYTHING I NEED.   

TYGJ


Monday, July 2, 2018

STILL

I'M FEELING A LITTLE UNSURE.  I'M FEELING.  THAT'S PROGRESS.  I'M CONSIDERING GIVING OLD CAR TO MARIA.  I HAVE TO CONSIDER.  I CAN DONATE TO CHARITY.

I'M PRACTICING CALM AND PEACE.

THE ROAD REPAIR WAS DONE WHEN I GOT HOME AND I PARKED UNDER THE TREE.

MY HAPPINESS REQUIRES SO LITTLE.

MY FEELINGS COULD BE EFFECTED BY THE COMET AND FULL MOON.  GRAVITY.

Saturday, June 30, 2018

MIA-MAGNUSSEN TOYOTA

29, FROM CHINA.  ALL ALONE.  SO BRAVE.  I COULDN'T DO IT.  SHE'S DIVORCED.  SHE LOOKS 19.  SHE DROVE ME TO GET MY CAR HOME AMD TO PICK UP THE NEW ONE.

I'M BLESSED.

I WAS BORN HERE.  DESPITE MY ALCOHOLIC, SUICIDAL PARENTS I'M OK THANKS TO GOD AND THE KINDNESS OF PEOPLE.

I'M USING UP THE GROCERIES I BOUGHT WHILE BEDRIDDEN.  I SPENT SO MANY TEARS IN FEAR WITH MY THIEVING SISTERS.  I WAS AFRAID OF BEING WITHOUT.

I WANT MORE MONEY.  I WANT THINGS FOR MY FRIENDS.

I DIDN'T GO TO EXERCISE.  I SPENT ALL DAY BUYING THE CAR.  NEXT GET RID OF THE OLD.