lovely cool overcast

Sunny hot spot 1 week stopped.  

oh, my aching back.  

deciding my perfect life-chrome froze.

8 am Men Behaving Badly.  I prefer the American version.  

I'm resting watching TV.  I watched $ (Dollars) 1971 movie Warren Beatty, Goldie Hawn.  and 1946 Undercurrent w/Katherine Hepburn, Robert Taylor, Robert Mitchum.  

I managed to retrieve pages.  

Talk like a Pirate Day-Art and Wine open extra hour

24 hour #1 parking space.  8 am calm quiet.

I don't know what I did last year.  parking Art and Wine is a mess.  I wanted to pick up St Justin I have to wait at the library.  I don't feel the need to attend if I ever did.  I usually went along to keep company with someone wanting to go.  just like being Aiko's security animal.

maybe I skipped it at Sunnyvale.  I can wait to park 9:45 or pick up then park.  I parked at 9:50 not 45.  a car was stuck at the bottom until the gate opened late.  they couldn't figure out how to back out or turn around.  so gate must not be on a timer someone forgot.  or being passive aggressive.  I was the second car at least 2 dozen(employee?) cars already parked.  

I walked over to St J 9:55.  one ham cheese no weekend bag.  I ate everything.  I was feeling tired 5 headed home.  

I had lettuce and lemon pepper tuna salad.  full day.

Nat'l cheeseburger day-LOVELY Overcast cool

a bright spot in a crazy world of fires and floods only getting worse.  no one else seems concerned.  

7:19 seniors eating sesame teriyaki mushy lunch noodles w/added chicken.  only 5 protein.  tuna salad, Vienna sausages 15.  

I puzzled and showered.  Gail and Gohan setting up Art and Wine in the park.  

I combed my hair for Fred's b'day.  I gave him the giraffe card +$5.  Melvin a big tin of assorted tea, Toki savory snacks, little Gloria bag of walnuts she gave to Walter.  Fred brought 2 boxes of Grandma's PB, chocolate chip, brownies.  maybe 40-50.  he had fun handing them out.  

had a contentious conversation w/Walter.  he won't understand Fred and Toki's politeness doesn't mean they want to listen to him drone on and on repeating his past.  they left in a hurry.  I keep reminding him we won't be around forever.  he needs to learn to make new friends.  he's afraid he can't change.  he only needs to change his behaviors.  

I picked up Atomic Habits at Cup and decided on super Safeway at Lawrence.  2/$5.98 clearance seafood salads I thought were salmon cesar.  low blood sugar tiny lunch.  delicious sugar strawberry flavored cake $2.99.  then on to central library to rest and eat.  Sammie happy his wife back from China.  

Vienna sausages

Having more fun.  I prefer eating in my car at my leisure.  

8:15 in pool swim, stretch, soak.  bookmobile 10 am cookie, milk, fruit jujubees.  

lunch w/Toki, Walter.  he's trying to dump his anxiety on me.  no way.  I got myself 2 noodles.  

500 piece Grogu Mandalorian puzzle.  fun, fun, fun.

I'm eating my b'fast--PAID PGE

I wasn't hungry from allergies.  I picked up fruit and went to seniors.  I ate when I got hungry.  I took my EVOO so I could brush my teeth.  feeling wonderfully relaxed.  coca cola tea.    

I finished Gohan's puzzle then soaked and stretched.  their office door was closed all day.  gearing up for art wine festival.  

I love my lunch family.  I suggested Fred have Walter give out b'day treats Walter didn't want to feed the "seagulls".  eh, I'll do it.  

sat in my car looking for a Fred b'day card.  I found a giraffe.  sorting through all my papers.  

I decided to pay PGE at Walmart.  first I went to Lucky's to get an ad for Toki.  I bought 4 clearance boxes of chocolate Hostess cupcakes for $1 ea.  2 drinks $1 ea.  peanut chocolate spread $3.  

I walked Walmart and bought a clearance Cobb salad for $2.08.  third off.  

back to seniors I considered swim again not today.  home I remembered to look and found a frog "Hoppy Birthday" card.  

seniors

feeling OK.  lost track of EVOO and supplements.  I brought my fish potato b'fast.  didn't feel hungry.  allergies.  lousy air.  amazes me no one notices.  parents should be mobilizing to improve air and water unless they hate their kids.

lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  extra chicken noodle.  St Just lemon brioche loaf delicious.  

Here I am Lord

I have to release the family "oh, poor me."  I've been reading Atomic Habits again.  it's so 'normal' for me.  "familiar".  

keeping me stuck to the status quo.  

I deserve a better life.  I'm building a better body cell by cell.  

I helped Toki after lunch with jury duty website.  not as obvious as when I got permanently excused.  she's going to write.  we updated her age and she's going to call early r/t after noon.  I told her with only one mail box it may be full by noon.  

I dropped off 4 oranges from lunch she loves them so.  

found Atomic Habits

perfectly cool.  I picked up avocado and guava gone.  

I nuked chicken skins from Fred, Toki and the 2 quarters.  

10 am 66 degrees.  11 am 24 hour fitness.  feeling hungry 12:30 I decided on Jack Box 2 breakfast jacks 2 hash browns.  arriving at the library too early I ate the potatoes.  4:30 starting to feel hungry.  

interesting how men bring little girls to the puzzle table to ignore them.  bad daddies.  they could ignore them at home.  

change anxiety-PAID Car, Disc, Cell-Bartolo&Adele

Discover to Cap One.  I'm still adjusting.  my allergy is affected by stress.  my head is still stuffy.  I found 5 new cloth 95 masks to wear outside.  

Toki is considering how and when to go online.  A lifetime of behavior.  

sitting in upstairs copy room.  while I took a rest break got water hell seeker turned off my recording so I plugged in my ear.  hell seekers have a right to their misery.  

anniversary of death 25 years ago-Hark

bedridden since may 13 I woke up minutes before the second jet hit.  I turned on the TV and changed channels watching the same feed of a burning skyscraper.  17 minutes later waves of shock and confusion glad my mom died not witnessing the horror.  

I can't watch those enjoying the attention.  

I was too focused on my sisters threats of violence and eviction.  

lunch was OK Fred, Toki, happy Walter.  2 extra chicken, dulces.  Toki got another jury duty notice.  10 days to respond.  maybe Monday seniors computer.  or Mission library.  Oh, I could go to her house too.  

Fred's b'day 18th then vacation 2 weeks.  

Hark I can listen just for me and fulfill improving the planet containing me.

blessed-$5.50/gal sunny +dime

I plugged the chrome in crooked didn't charge 46%.  

I remembered to get gas Coleman.  went up from b-4 holiday.  

just me and Walter today.  Sunshine and Ruben and Walter gave me desserts.  I got extra lunch.  At noon 90 degrees Walter left early.  101 degrees in the shade at seniors lunch.  95 driving, 82 parking garage.  

library volunteer old white female heard my Louise hates heaven.  explains the world.  rather serve in hell to keep others from entering heaven.  

feeling sad -I'm #1

Louise is my consolation.  looking for Real Foods corn thins sesame.  

24 hour at 9 am #1 space.  finished 9:30 on to B King 2 jr and 2 med fries coupon.  

people litter due to feeling frustrated.  I sat through 2 cycles waiting to turn left on Olive.  

Sunny #1 all day shade at 10:08 am.  last shade.  I considered sewing lab but nah, I don't feel like working.

5:40 finished 750 pc sewing 7 cats puzzle.  

continuous vitamin C and allergy plant-PAID CITIBANK

tylophora indica.  I'm feeling much better.

I went to 24 at 10 am then Citibank.  maybe gasoline tomorrow.  

seniors and central today.  keeping my appointments.  lunch banh mi not as good roll no gravy.  I got extra and I gave lackluster coleslaw to Walter.  

I drove to back parking gave Toki all the fruit.  no seniors this week.  

Martha security asked permission for me to use the staff elevator since central broken.  and she looks like she lost 10-15 lbs.  I bought Beatles Revolver for $2.  

wheel- fuji apple-CORRECT

Labor Day summer cold-Toki left me Arare Mix

Saturday I stood outside talking to Melvin in the wind and the fuzzy pollen has locked my sinuses.  my forehead is on fire.  

I'm blessed to rest.  so good.  

still feeling sad-healing the past

I ate candy to cheer myself so I'm stuffy.  post nasal drip.  my drug of choice sweets and chips.  1 bag.

watching Biography-Cat Stevens, Dolly Parton.  

I made mac and cheese comfort food.  tuna avocado on toast.  I'm taking care of myself.  

maybe 30 years (Happy death day dad)-Melvin chips

to get over the trauma and drama.  it's been 27.  dad's last month my sisters tortured mom, dad and I.  they suddenly took an interest in goading us.  mom going to Tahoe leaving me with dad then the chiropractor appointments leaving him tortured in pain mom and I had to experience helplessly for a week.  finally killed him in Kaiser.   

then their broken promises to mom to take care of her.  she died of a broken heart not heart failure.  no wonder I still sad.  they tried to evict me for 8 years.  harassing me 'til I retained an attorney.  complaining I was costing them money.   

listening to 432 Hz Alpha waves.  quite nice.  you tube just wanders.  and I wonder.  it's working.  

3 pm Melvin brought me 2 bags of low salt Safeway chips.  MIRACLE.  I shared my dad's last month alive.  

I'm no longer alone.  

Happy Friday-Tyler from senior gym desk visit

Gohan has been working/playing for the city since 16, intern.  ideal job.  PAID TO PARTY.  Gail and Gohan put on festivals, celebrations.  I started his Ironman puzzle.  Gail brought 2 he had to bring 3 he wants back.  

like Eric Karaoke Kids.  still hard physical work hauling electronic equipment before computers.  

I got extra baked beans the only tasty part of lunch and lots of sweets.  peach soggy, cookies, pastry.  the sloppy turkey was bony and bland.  soggy coleslaw.  people celebrating Labor Day.  

MeMe came to visit.  Nob Hill has her working mgmt 't 

Wheel food and drink-QUICK BITES.  Thursday bonus puzzle.  

I'm here

Yippee!!  I picked new puzzle, put away his repeat choice.  500 piece Garden Path.  and I finished it.  

lunch was not good.  I decided I wanted chicken wild rice with extra can chicken, avocado, celery.  and 2 toasted English muffins.  I could easily eat a dozen.  

wheel bonus puzzle and page at odds.  

seniors

I'm having nightmares of child abuse waking me.  I'm trying to see it through love.  

the angry child wants to wipe everything away.  get rid of everything.  everybody dad, mom, aiko.  mit came after.  throw away the bad memories.  

Walter took off early so I could sit and wait for extra lunch.  Fred and Toki left earlier.  

annoying man ex came w/his lunch so I finished the puzzle and left.  he gave me permission to choose the next puzzle and commented I was almost complete.  I couldn't find my blue bag.  I walked downstairs and upstairs he was sitting on it.  such a jerk.  last week he made an issue of moving my keys on the chair arm and today he sat on my bag.  I went downstairs and charged my devices listening to Louise.  

I was home 3 pm.  had strawberry quick, cooked an egg and added pickles to leftover bibimbap.    

rewriting my life habits

I could dance.  my heart is light.  I haven't felt this good since a child before they dragged me into their muck.